Protecting(hiding) assets in a community property state

Tman I appreaciate you input and responses as a professional.
Am I missing something? This site is for finding escorts or sugarbabies both of which are breaking the law, no ? The lawyers on here including Jon are not breaking the law on a montly basis? Originally Posted by peaceomind
I dont see SJ ever making a comment about his own forays into the hobby. Nor do I ever see him say "xyz are illegal, and to get away with it do w" (from what I have been told would be a big no-no).

He does say "Here are the elements by statute, and if xyz takes place this is how it fits (or doesnt fit) the statute". Subtle, but important difference.

Additionally he says "If arrested (detained, whatnot), here are steps that aid in protecting your own rights during that time." All legal steps I might add.

There might be a strong presumption that at least some of the audience might find those pieces of advice germane --- but 'hanging out and talking', even in a place that is filled with 'seedy' people is *not* a crime, as long as you are *not* aiding or abetting anything illegal.

The rote recitation of legal statutes and how certain scenarios may or may not fit is in no way aiding or abetting anything --- it is the dissemination of information that is both legal (in the subject matter) and legal (as in a non-criminal activity).

The best example is one given to me years ago by a criminal attorney over a misdemeanor issue I had --- he explained how my actions might be viewed, and what the consequences of my actions might be legally. He then said "if I tell you *how* to do the actions better, I would be an accomplice which I will not do. But I will tell you how those actions are viewed, and what to do if the authorities pursue this, and what your rights are under the situation."

I view SJs comments as a rhetorical comment in that vein.

Just remember, hanging out in a seedy biker bar, talking about the law, does not make an attorney a partner in any criminal undertaking. SJ hangs out here, and talks about the law. No difference at all that I can see in the two, especially since SJ never *urges* anyone to break a law, nor dispenses advice aside from that described above.

If you want to say that I am being naive. to think someone will take a chance of telling how it can be done even on a private message board, then i get that.
Explained above. Talking about the law and your rights is not a crime in any sense of the word. Ever. There are lines that can be crossed, but I dont see that in this case. Again, talking to bad people in bad places about your rights under the law, as long as you dont urge them to break or how to avoid the law, is perfectly copacetic under the law.

But seems to me chosing what law you break and being judgy or condesending about it is bullshit.
Again, SJ is not breaking any law by talking about the law in this area.

I asked because I figured there where a lot of men on here with serious wealth stepping out on their wives. If they aren't hiding the money then they are gonna end up losing a lot sooner or later.
Understandable. Marital property is always a highly contested issue. And highly emotional. But you can understand that at least some of what is being asked is essentially against the law, do you not? And, it is perfectly understandable that an attorney is telling you that in so many words.

Anyhoo, hope the best for you in your quest. And hopefully this helps out with the issue of SJs response and perhaps why he responded in that fashion. There are a ton of (maybe) practical items being proffered here, but be warned that some of them will get you on the *very* bad side of a family law judge (at the very minimum).

be good
Ok here is another question. Has anybody pulled off a Postnup ?
Does it work if it is done right ?
Unique_Carpenter's Avatar
You really need to talk to a divorce attorney that specializes in the material you are asking about.
There are so many variables involved that it cant be done here with the extremely vague facts you present.
Spend all your money on pussy, then she can't get it. Or loan it to me and I'll pay you back via my Nigerian connection after you ditch the bitch.

Or maybe I won't, but that's a better bet than trying for a "post-nup".
TexTushHog's Avatar
Why not kill your wife and bury her body in the backyard? That way, you can keep all the money. You won't have any integrity, but you'll have all the money. Maybe you could even sell her dead body to a cadaver bank. Originally Posted by ShysterJon
And you have a better chance of getting away with it than most of the hare-brained schemes recommended herein. I do high stakes litigation. Mostly personal injury. But as that has declined over the years, I've been doing more commercial litigation and some high asset family law litigation. You're not even in the ball park. Plans to protect assets start at lest six months BEFORE you get married. Keep the house in your name. Don't expend any community funds on it' or keep meticulous records with receipts on every penny of community funds spent on the house, etc. very difficult to protect assets unless you have investment income. LLC is likely irrelevant unless it predates the marriage and then only the return on capital invested pre-marriage is relevant, not your return on labor. And there are things you, your accountant, and your potential expert witness should have been tracking in the LLC every year.

Postnuptial agreements exist are are rarer than virgins in whore houses who have dragon's teeth in their pockets. If you can talk her into signing one of those, hell, just talk Bill Gates into giving you his money and don't worry about all this legal shit.

Get s good lawyer who is board certified in family law and well regarded and not an asshole. Try not to piss the soon to be ex off any more than necessary. Tell the truth. Listen to your lawyer.
rexdutchman's Avatar
cash in the coffee can in the back yard LOL
ShysterJon's Avatar
I'm amused by all the speculation in this thread about the meaning behind my brief remarks. One would think I'm Bob Fucking Dylan.

If my points weren't obvious, let me state them clearly:

1. No ethical lawyer will help you hide assets in a divorce. If you find a lawyer willing to help you secrete assets, think about this for a minute: Your lawyer is a scumbag. There's a good chance he'll ass-fuck you on fees and pin all the blame on you if you're caught secreting assets.

2. At some point in a divorce in Texas with significant marital assets, the parties submit an inventory and appraisement stating, under penalty of perjury, what the marital estate owns and what each party owns separately. You may also be required to give your deposition under oath. You risk serious repercussions committing perjury.

3. A good lawyer can pierce obfuscation. I use an ex-FBI agent for investigations. When you're caught hiding assets, expect the judge to thump you in the property division.

4. Mr. OP: Your argument seems to be if a person behaves ethically, that means he's a saint or a white knight. I feel sorry for you. I'd suggest you get therapy. You also seem to argue I'm your moral equivalent because I give legal advice. I would NEVER advise someone to commit a crime, fool. Nice try, but major fail.
Shysterjon interesting name you picked to represent yourself
shy·ster
ˈSHīstər/
nouninformal
a person, especially a lawyer, who uses unscrupulous, fraudulent, or deceptive methods in business.

You have many posts in the past about many girls you paid as sugarbabies. So that is not illegal ? Same as paying for sex or you can justify that law breaking?
There is a reason you chose shyster for yourself, or you could call yourself Saint Jon the attorney, patron saint of hooker help advice to wash away his own sins

Nice try ?? You go overboard on your post acting like asking for advice on hiding assets is close to committing murder. And preach about giving advice to break the law.
Guess your selective memory helps you tell yourself you are the only one on here with integrity. Stick to handing advice out to dumb hookers.
Unique_Carpenter's Avatar
peace,

If you have a problem with why this forum exists, then you simply don't belong on this board in the first place. This is a hooker board, and the folks here quite like to date the gals.

As for this thread, I've seen a friend of mine go after and get an attorney in Iowa disbarred for intentionally not following the disclosure rules in a divorce proceeding. All assets, facts, etc, always come out sooner or later.

And, this thread is about an entirely different ballgame than how to avoid misdemeanors, which this forum is actually about. I, and others, have all said to take non-hobby stuff to your local atty that specializes in whatever the subject matter is.

Jon, TTH, and others, work in the real world. This is not the evening tv show, where everything is resolved in 54 minutes, that quite a lot of you seem to think it is.

OK, coffee's up. Go reread TTH's comments at post #20.
And thank you for entertaining me this morning.
Gold
Buy a gold coin every month or every other month., out of your petty cash.
BUT you have to be careful as there is now counterfeit coins that look just like the real ones.
Need to read up and figure out how to detect fake coins. A caliper and a postal scale are tools that come to mind.

I worked on a metal analyzer for a precious metals assayer out in LA. They take the bits of gold and melt it down and have seen bars of tungsten buried inside the gold. So stay away from gold bars

One might be able to hide maybe $10,000 a year but after ten years that is $100,000
PROBLEM: there is no interest that accrues on gold.

Also I think estates are exempt from community property so if you are the recipient of an estate, you really need to place those funds in a separate account Originally Posted by instfixer
For anyone buying gold and wanting privacy, not all gold purchases are reportable so do a search on "buy gold coins irs reporting" and you'll get various websites that explain the IRS reporting rules gold dealers must follow when you buy gold from them.
Go to the local gold store and take cash. The whole process is between you and the seller. one oz gold coins are sold today at $1250.00. If you go to a local well known store the chance of getting ripped off are less. Silver dollar coins are $18.30 today. No ID is needed and no paper work is filled out other than a sales slip. I have been buying gold and silver for years and I have never been asked for my name. The normal price to purchase a coin is 1% above the value at that time. When you sell them back it is another 1% you will pay for the transaction.
Gotyour6's Avatar
Put all your money down your pants.
Works for the thugs hiding dope when the po po comes around.

Just get baggy pants according to your assets.
Word of advise.. Dont buy large cars. That is a big fucking pair of pants.
Better call Saul
wildman76's Avatar
Now that's funny lol
Enchanterlingum's Avatar
The bottom line: if you were dumb enough to put a ring on it, you are already fucked. Don't make it worse.