What type of Dom/Domme or sub are you?

I was asked several times over the past week what all I was into... And the best way I can explain it is like this..

Sensation Play

Activities that manipulate the five senses. Some activities are for stimulation and involve creating a new or uncommon experience for the senses. The use of pain stimulation such as spanking or nipple clamps is referred to as S&M (Sadomasochism). Another way to stimulate the senses is inducing a feeling of pleasure; for example, with a vibrator. Some other activities are for sensory deprivation and involve restricting the player's senses, such as the use of a blindfold. The scope of this sexual exploration is never-ending; people are always coming up with new ways to play. Hot wax, ice, whips, incense, ball gags, feather dusters, and just about anything else you can think of can be used for sensation play.

Sensory Deprivation: A form of sensation play where a Sub's senses (sight, hearing, taste, scent, touch) are restricted. This can be accomplished by using bondage restraints. Limiting physical movement is a type of sensory deprivation because we interpret and identify objects by using our sense of touch (with our hands); and, if we are unable to use our primary means of identification (mostly sight, sound, and touch), we can become frustrated and disoriented, but also more aware of our other senses as in the belief that some blind people develop better hearing. In BSDM play, the Dom has the ability to take away that which makes the Sub understand the world around him/her. The Sub must sexually surrender and give all trust over to the Dom as a blind person would a Seeing Eye dog or a deaf person would a sign language interpreter. It also helps a Sub to focus on the pure sensation of what a Dom is doing. Blindfolds are used not only as a means of blocking out other stimuli but for the element of surprise; a Sub may not know to expect pleasure or pain and cannot see if the Dom is holding a vibrator or a crop.

Ideas for Sensation and Sensory Deprivation Play: Start off by having your Sub lie down on a bed or table. Have the Sub lay face-up with his/her legs spread apart, hands at the sides or above the head. You should have the Sub wear a blindfold and ear plugs; if you choose, you can restrain your Sub as well. After the Sub has the blindfold and ear plugs on, gather whatever toys and supplies you will be using on him/her. This will not only keep your Sub in suspense of what you will be using, but also gives him/her the opportunity to get into the frame of mind needed for sexual surrender.Here are a few ways to stimulate your partner; these objects can be used in a number of ways, but these are just a few suggestions.

String/ Shoe Lace/ Ribbon/ Silk Scarf- Take the string at one end, let the loose end drag continuously over the Sub's body. Be gentle and deliberate with the placement, as well as the motion of the string. Bring it close to the Sub's genitals, but don't make direct contact. Try starting from one leg, continuing across the torso, and then down the other leg. Don't forget about the feet and hands.
Warm Water (bath temperature) and a Small Paintbrush- Take the paintbrush and dip it into the water. Hold one end of the brush firmly between your fingers and, with the other hand, flick/tap the end of the brush just below the bristles. This will create a light sprinkle of water on your Sub. Do this in various locations on your Sub's body; be unpredictable about where the next sprinkle of water will go. Eventually, take the wet brush and paint long, languid strokes on your Sub's hips and inner thighs. Then paint up around the nipples, continue to the neck, and gently behind the ears. You can choose to use it on the genitals, but be sure the brush is brand new.
Ice and a Drinking Straw- With the ice cube, gently touch it to the Sub's shoulder, but only for a second. Bring the ice to his/her chest, gently circle around the areolas, and then make contact with nipples. Let the ice cube sit on his/her chest or stomach (if it falls off, you might save this technique for the back). Take another ice cube and rub it around the Sub's ankle. Lift the leg a little and run the ice from the ankle to the area behind the knee, keep doing this back and forth and then do the same for the other leg. Take the ice and bring it to the Sub's genitals; rub the ice in soft concentric circles around the head of the penis or the clitoris of the Sub. Occasionally bring the ice down the length of the shaft or around the outer labia. When there is a nice little puddle on your Sub's chest or stomach (from the ice you left on it), take the straw and gently blow through it to push the water around his/her torso.
Sex toys in Sensation Play- Almost ANY sex toy can be used during sensation play to tantalize a Sub. Toys designed for long term, wearable enjoyment are often utilized in this type of play. These toys provide constant stimulation while worn; this can open up the body to receive more heighten and attentive responses to other forms of stimulation (such as those listed above).
Nipple clamps provide a pinching pressure as well as weighted tug. They come in a variety of styles that range in intensity, some which have vibrators attached to the clips. Just remember that the longer you leave the clamps on, the more painful it will be when they are removed and the blood rushes back to the area.



So tell me........ What type of Dom/Domme or sub are you?

Awesome thread! I am the type of sub that wants to be teased relentlessly. I love to be brought to the edge and then denied until I beg for release. Pain pleasure and sensory deprvation are all a means to that end. The orgasm when it finaly comes us out if this world. I long to be controlled and to be made to please my Goddess. I am a slut at heart and desire to be violated by my Mistress. I like to push my limits when I trust someone.

As for s&m, as I slip further into subspace I find I can take more and more pain. It is delightful and frightening all at once. The only problem I have with this type of play is marking as I have an SO. (yes, I already have the financial domination thing covered)

I love to worship my Goddess. Any and every part of her body. I am however repulsed by scat and blood play. It just seems wrong to me. I guess If it really pleased my Mistress I might even be convinced to let her piss on me but I just don't know.....

The one thing that upsets me about BDSM play is that many Dommes for hire won't allow FS as part of their session. For me that should be the ultimate reward for being a good little bitch. As a result I am often left disappointed after a session. Any of you want me to come see you and offer FS in addition, please PM me!

I have a session coming today and the anticipation is killing me!

Oh LatexLover I feel so sorry for you. I'm never left unsatisfied in the end. I'm a great sub and always get my reward. But if you need some release I'd be willing to help you out. Although we both being sub we may not get anywhere waiting on the other to make the first move. LOL

The one thing that upsets me about BDSM play is that many Dommes for hire won't allow FS as part of their session. For me that should be the ultimate reward for being a good little bitch. As a result I am often left disappointed after a session. Any of you want me to come see you and offer FS in addition, please PM me!
Originally Posted by LatexLover

If you are looking for a "true" domme, then yeah, virtually all of them do not perform sexual activities in a session, aside from maybe penetration toys (on you) or strap-on (on you again). It is a very different mentality for dominant ladies vs. providers who offer s&m activities.

From what I have heard from the bdsm community, and from the provider community, its almost like a cats vs. dogs issue. "True" dommes get kind of angry at providers muscling in on their turf and offering sex because it gets the clients expecting sex from them. And providers see easy money in offering bdsm services when it seems like a lot don't have a clue about the work that is required (let alone the gear and clothing - full-blown dommes wear $400 corsets while wanna-be's get theirs at Hot Topic).

I've known some dommes who let their clients cum at the end of a session, while others don't care about you cumming... as long as you are gone from their sight when you do it.

As best as I can tell, there hasn't ever been a happy medium between the two. The "true" dommes that I know only have sex with their partners. To them its just too personal, and one told me "how would you feel about licking my pussy when a 100 other guys have licked it too". I didn't answer that one...

Anyone else care to share?

I enjoy a good spanking as well! I liked to be teased but I like to be pleasured in the end, At al times knowing RIGHTwhere my place is. There are still some roles I have not DONE YET. I will be real interested to see the responses in this thread...Good one Texas *

Well...
Part of the problem is that the erotic/fetish attraction of bdsm is hard to separate from the service/subneed aspect. At least for me it is.

I've been in subspace once - it was freaky, and after the fact it was scary as hell. Doesn't do me any good to have a safeword if I'm psychologically unable to recognize that I should use it. Oh well, that's why you have to REALLY communicate with and have a trust level with your Dom/Domme. I've been very fortunate (or just plain lucky) in my for-pay encounters that way.

Oh, right - what was the original question? I'm about 50 percent service oriented and the other 50 percent denial/teasing oriented.

Nice suggestions! I would describe myself as a switch, being more the sensuous sub than liking real pain. Now I do enjoy being spanked while in doggie, the hair pulled, making my back arch...yowsa. But, I also enjoy serving, bathing my Master, drying Him and so forth.

I've been known to enjoy the other side of the coin...

Communication really is the key to a good session. If you know your sub, then you can push their senses to the limit...tease, denial, torture....yummy. Trust and attraction help too, lol. Now I don't know about being a real Domme, but I enjoy the power of being a Mistress with a dark Domme side. No two encounters are ever the same, for no two people are the same, some like it more gentle or harsh than others. It's all in finding the right person to fit your needs and someone who is flexible to change it up if that's needed. If that's a real Domme who has certain limits, or a provider who can explore yours, it's up to you whom you chose to spend time with. But any sexual experience I have is for ME...if you get to enjoy it too, that's great. Enjoy yourself, kisses and spankings, Lace

Recent Review pertaining to the subject

I hesitated answering this but Starr convinced me. I am a top that has always pushed my sub's to reach farther than they even expected themselves to go. I find it very hard, if not impossible to do so during a session with a provider. It is virtually impossible to truly push a sub to her limits in just an hour. Some, no names mentioned, are so turned on by a spanking that it would be silly to use that as a punishment and how do you push someone to reach for new challenges when one is paid for the pleasure?

The Dom/sub relationship is a very powerful one, and if done right leaves the sub with a feeling of total satisfaction, more than just sexually. The simple act of a sub journaling leads to her growth in all ways, mentally, physically and emotionally.

What type of Dom am I? That would be hard for me to say, but one past sub put it as a relationship so powerful it strengthened her personality and emotionally, changing her life. She has since become a Counselor is testing for her Doctorate, all that from a divorced woman who wasn't even comfortable with the lights on. I care deeply for my sub's and realize that without a sub I would not be a Dom and I miss the pride I felt in watching my sub's grow and become strong respectful women who truly knew how to please and serve in all ways of their life.

I suppose I am mostly sensation oriented. I love when my partner is sexually aggressive combined with extended teasing and sensation play. If I am bound, all the better. The longer the teasing, the higher my pain tolerance and the more frantic I become. For example, after an extended session involving electric play where I was teased during the play the intensity of the electricity slowly increased, I find my self desperate for some (any) type of sexual contact. At that point, the body worship/teasing is extremely effective to further drive me. The "costume," be it latex, corsets, heels etc. just adds to the tease.

I may have to schedule and appointment. Its been too long!

adventurous1

I enjoy tease and denial, orgasm control, verbal humiliation, small penis humiliation, ruined orgasms, forced servitude such as apartment cleaning, forced cunnilingus or forced to fuck the girl with a strap-on so that I couldn't enjoy the experience, mild beatings, mild CBT, post-orgasm cock torture, forced voyeurism (one girl tied me to a chair in her closet and set up a mirror so I could partially see her and hear her while she masturbated with toys, after which she made me clean her bathroom while she closed and locked the bedroom door and masturbated again. After she saw that I cleaned the bathroom to her satisfaction, she let me don a condom and masturbate in front of her, at this time with her fully clothed but with an open blouse/braless showing some cleavage. Her fee was supposed to be $$$ but I had about $400 with me- she took all the money out of my wallet and told me that if I complained she'd beat my ass and call my wife).

I've also seen this girl for RMT sessions and a couple of GFE sessions.

I enjoy spanking, mostly giving but recieving as well. I also like role playing scenarios associated with spanking.

I am a switch but enjoy recieving more than giving... mostly spankings but have played with electric, bondage, hot and cold water/wax, cbt, and other stuff I can't think of now...
Looking for ever more interesting fun/pain play with full services giving and recieving at the end of the session...

I have intended to respond to this thread for some time. My apologies for getting to the party so late! I've participated in BDSM as a sadist/top/Domme since long before I ever engaged in any play within a P4P context. Power exchange and topping are essential to my erotic expression. I do occasionally switch, but only with lovers in my personal life when I'm craving a respite from the responsibilities of exercising control.

My primary areas of interest include objectification, light to medium bondage, behavior modification, cuckolding, age play/role play, chastity, spanking (over the knee, open handed, or with a variety of implements), light whipping, CBT, predicament games, sensory deprivation, Goddess worship, feminization, fear-based training and humiliation. Service and protocol are non-negotiable and any submissive wishing to serve me must learn and abide by my set of rules. Discreet public domination holds a particular place in my heart. I am not interested in wearing stereotypical costumes, raising my voice or implementing unoriginal, scripted scenarios. I love a natural dynamic that allows all parties to experience a true journey of the mind.

Creativity within psychological play is at the core of my erotic wiring. I am deeply nurturing and care very much about the well being of a sub, but I am most certainly sadistic and love the chance to deliver exacting punishment to a willing bottom. Cultivating a path that often begins with frustration, pain and denial but ends with satisfying devotion is a source of great pleasure. There's an appealing challenge in orchestrating a lasting tension and excitement that can grow into an established relationship between a Domme and her happy slave.

Well,

Since Texas Starr is one of my favorite playthings... I needed to respond to this thread. I hope I covered the subject well, she will let me know if I missed anything.


So, What kind of Dom am I -

I guess it is pretty well known what my side of the fence is. And I get asked this question regularly and hope that I can use this to explain. I consider myself a sensuous dom. I feed off my subs energy. I am not into hardcore, far end experiences.... at least not yet. there are some of those that I am interested in (Figging, More public play, etc.) But my interests run to:

Control - It is all about control - My Favorite thing is the initial assumption of control from the sub. Twining my fingers in her hair, pulling her head back and exerting my dominance. That sets the stage for the rest..... putting her on her knees, directing her on what I want, or taking it from her. All in how we have set the stage before we start. Teasing her, warming her up over and over....

I love sensory play - blindfolds and pinwheels, watching the reactions to the different sensations. Hot, cold, sharp, soft, whispering in her ear,and running my beard, tongue, fingers across her flesh... pinch the nipples, stroke her nether regions, and pull that huge O out of her...

I love Restraint - I have done a lot with leather and other restraints, still looking for someone that can take a long rope session. I so want to learn rope. Had one very exciting session where i did nothing but put my wrists on top of hers to create the illusion of restraint.

Flogging / Spanking / etc. - I am a big Spank-O, as someone called it the other day, and I think I am good at it. I have used a variety of spanking implements, from floggers and crops and canes to kitchen implements.

Role Play - How can you not love it...

Electrical / Wax - so fun, if used safely

Training - I do Dom training session, and do take on new subs. It is a great thrill to start to explore a new players limits... And introduce them to the world of subspace... On the filp side, when we have built the trust and understanding, then we can go full bore and Iknow exactly what makes my subs tick. And hope to make their world rock.

The initial step -

I require my sub to tell me about their desires and trepidations and outright fears when it comes to BDSM. This is the only way I can get into their heads and give them the good mind fucking they desire.

PPE