Make them believe, if not in magic, In money well spent.

Seemed like an interesting time to this thought:

There's a song lyric stuck in my head - Make them believe, if not in magic, In money well spent.

I had been talking to a now retired hobbyist about his years of exploring the delights the world of companionship has to offer. His life circumstances have changed, and his financial situation isn't as comfortable as it has been in the past.

And so the conversation came up: When you look back at all the money you've spent on women, do you regret it?

His answer was a resounding no, even though he admitted to spending a small fortune. I'm wondering if others feel the same? Or different?
atlcomedy's Avatar
I don't think you should isolate "hobby" expenditures.

I think they are just one of a group of discretionary expenditures we all make. Does he regret the trip he took to Europe with his family in '07 or his weekly Saturday golf game or his........(you get the point)....they are experiences. At the end of the day life is but a set set of experiences....

Certainly as personal circumstances change it makes sense and/or becomes necessary to change our budget or reevaluate our spending going forward...

I'm glad he doesn't regret but cherishes the times he had.

He may not be able to afford Sox season tix anymore (or for the time being), but he'll never forget being there to finally break the curse(insert your own teams in here to make this work). In the same way he'll never forger some of the time he spent with you and other remarkable ladies.
With most women, I don't regret it at all. And I've never regretted money spent on a provider because the content of what is being purchased is fairly clear to me.

However, I have certainly regretted money spent on some of the women I dated in the civie world; particularly the woman who tried to turn me into a sugar daddy without revealing her intent in advance. Not only do I regret the money -- I regret the time, emotion, etc.

And even that circumstance, I can at least see as a learning experience.

But, overall -- no, I do not regret a dime.
I don't think you should isolate "hobby" expenditures.

I think they are just one of a group of discretionary expenditures we all make. Does he regret the trip he took to Europe with his family in '07 or his weekly Saturday golf game or his........(you get the point)....they are experiences. At the end of the day life is but a set set of experiences....

Certainly as personal circumstances change it makes sense and/or becomes necessary to change our budget or reevaluate our spending going forward...

I'm glad he doesn't regret but cherishes the times he had.

He may not be able to afford Sox season tix anymore (or for the time being), but he'll never forget being there to finally break the curse(insert your own teams in here to make this work). In the same way he'll never forger some of the time he spent with you and other remarkable ladies. Originally Posted by atlcomedy
A good point, and a good answer. I was actually wondering if people felt differently about this then they do their other discretionary spending.
am-a-pleaser's Avatar
In many ways, it's like other expenditures. For example: I decide to go out to eat. I talk to friends who dine out. From their opinions and recommendations, I make a choice. Will my meal be as good? Will my server be polite? Is the atmosphere to my liking? Not always, but that doesn't mean I never dine out again, or never try a new place. I don't regret it. I just learned. BUT, I have my favorites and will return to them often.

Overall my dining experiences are worthwhile. The menu, the presentation, atmosphere, dine-in or take-out, the people, my satisfaction and how welcoming they are.
atlcomedy's Avatar
A good point, and a good answer. I was actually wondering if people felt differently about this then they do their other discretionary spending. Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill
and I thought I answered at least for myself


I think they are just one of a group of discretionary expenditures we all make.
I haven't been in this situation and don't have kids, I can imagine there is a lot of guilt in budget cutting if the choices are Jimmy & Suzie having hockey and piano lessons vs. Daddy whoring

but still that is looking forward

as far as memories...I still say you have to lump all of it together
runswithscissors's Avatar
when I look back on all the money I have spent on women, do I regret it? Absolutely not, even when that total comes to a nice fortune. I have met some truely memorable ladies from around the world, I will go to my deathbed one day with a smile on my face remembering a chance encounter somewhere in the world, and someone will comment on how peaceful I look! I do not count and classify my expendiures; it will only make you have feelings of regret. God knows I have spent a young fortune on golf and absolutely hate the game......
TexTushHog's Avatar
In general, no. A few sessions here and there, you bet.
discreetgent's Avatar
I have no regrets about the money spent. Sure, some encounters were far better than others but as a totality it has all been worth it.
I really like that lyric. Where did you hear it?

On balance I have no regrets.
And I say on balance only because if given the opportunity to make some of those decisions again, I might choose differently. Nothing radically or directionally different, just different.
rakuguy's Avatar
I was actually wondering if people felt differently about this then they do their other discretionary spending. Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill
but all my discretionary spending is on women. if I had other types then I would regret not having spent that on women be it in or out of the hobby.
Marcus Aurelius's Avatar
"There is no pain like the pain of regret."

So far, [knock on head.] I regret no encounters.

I regret not saving enough. Nor preparing enough for the one.
Rudyard K's Avatar
I would think that most folks would have no regrets. No more so than they might regret any unfrugal act in their life.

But most folks who lives have changed financially did not have that change occur because of P4P. It changed becuase of some other circumstance.

If it changed because of P4P, then they were already allocating to much of thier resources to such activity.
Marcus Aurelius's Avatar
I would think that most folks would have no regrets. No more so than they might regret any unfrugal act in their life.

But most folks who lives have changed financially did not have that change occur because of P4P. It changed becuase of some other circumstance.

If it changed because of P4P, then they were already allocating to much of thier resources to such activity. Originally Posted by Rudyard K
Too true.
atlcomedy's Avatar
So this morning I ran across one of those seemingly everywhere articles on how to save money. You know, "if you just cut out that Starbucks every day & invested that money by retirement you'd have $xx,xxx more in your account"

This guy actually had a different take: Live with less. Focus on what are likely your biggest expenditures: house and car.

I'm not sure I agree with him...and that isn't really the point, but he was asked, "How do you make major purchases? You have to make some." (Refering to home electronics, major appliances etc. otherwise known as a trip to Home Depot or Best Buy). His answer is he goes shopping, makes notes and waits a week. If he still wants it after a week he goes back and gets it. He figures (roughly) 50% of the time he decides to forgoe the purchase.

Now we all different. But has anyone applied the same logic/discipline to this world? That is the one week rule or something similar.

I haven't. I have acknowledged in another thread that most of my "regretable" dates have been last minute, "I'm horny" type calls.