Threesome etiquette

Talking to one of my regulars last week and she mentioned she had dumped her boyfriend because she wanted a threesome (2 girls, 1 guy) and he wasn't interested (yes, I know. Hard to believe). I mentioned the conversation to my other regular and she wanted to be part of the future threesome with her current boyfriend.

However, when she approached her boyfriend about the idea, he wanted to fuck the other girl and not his girlfriend and she only wanted him to fuck her. (I hope this is clear). Then my other regular said she would feel the same way if it was her boyfriend.

Bear in mind, I am not going to be part of this (except for introducing the two women to each other) but I am intrigued and curious.

From a male point of view, I would want to fuck the new girl because I have already had the experience with my girlfriend and I would want something new. Of course, I am a shallow pig so what would you expect.

Both girls, however, felt that the guy should only fuck his girlfriend after the girls indulged in a little lesbian action and he could participate in everything else but no fucking the new girl (again, I hope this is clear)

My questions are to the guys and the women on this site:

Men--if it was your girlfriend along with a new girl, would you want to fuck the new girl and wouldn't you think that was the reason for your involvement? Or would you just go along to have a threesome to fulfill your fantasies?

Women--if it was your boyfriend, would you insist he could only fuck you? and if so, why?

Thanks and looking forward to your responses

Having done a few threesomes as a civie, not only did I not have a problem when my boyfriend had sex with the other girl, I thought it was HOT. Having said that though, I can understand why some girls might feel some jealousy.

That is why threesomes can be complicated, and issues and boundaries need to be talked about beforehand. Communication is key when trying a threesome, and all parties need to be on board not only with what they are comfortable with, but also with the boundaries and comfort levels of the other participants. Not always an easy needle to thread.

I would want to fuck both, if their situation was agreed upon I would respect it. I do think it is a bit hypocritical, but everyone has their own boundaries and logic doesn't always form those boundaries.

I'm not the selfish type and also in the swing lifestyle. But I am completely straight so wouldn't want to play with another lady.
I would him to fuck the other lady, however I would probably be trying kiss him or play with his nipples while fucking her. There are some guys that would like to eat one while fucking another too. There are many options.
Many more options if the ladies involved are bi. There is no set rules and the lady should find out what the bf expects before agreeing.
I've been at swing parties where a husband or bf will watch the wife/gf with other men either rubbing himself while watching or one even said that when they got home afterwards was their time.

Ate them both watched some girl on girl, then fucked them both. A good time was had by all.

I'm with Ryan---- He should get to fuck us both
And... I'm with Stacy in that boundaries need to be established up front.

If he were my true SO, I would insist that I find the girl, and arrange the meeting, She would need to be a stranger to both of us with no further communication after the event.

If he were just one of my boyfriends, mehhhh, he can pick and do whatever to whoever, whenever. I'm all about sharing and having fun!

So she gets to fuck the third person, but he doesn't? That doesn't seem fair.

Threesomes outside of the compensated hobby world are a double-edged sword in my opinion. They can go either way.

I would think even if one allowed the guy to fuck the other girl, she'd still have to process that information. It can go two ways: (1) She works through it quickly, and they continue to do more threesomes (2) Her self esteem is damaged, she becomes jealous and the fighting will begin until the relationship hits rock bottom ultimately ending in a break up. Now this goes both ways if it were going to be a M-F-M instead of F-M-F.

A woman (or man) would really have to be a pretty solid individual (truly love, respect and like their self) to be able to enjoy a true threesome where all parties are intertwined with each other.

When you are in love with someone, typically the last thing you want to do is throw a bone out there that could cause the other party to leave you to be with someone new. Man that's a tough decision. I would think that it would be desired by most men to be able to fuck the other woman.

If you don't have a strong relationship, I would avoid a threesome at all cost. I have known many friends that have completely annihilated their relationships after partaking in threesome activities. These were the kinds where the man got to fuck his girlfriend, and the new girl.

This is one story:
A guy and girl that I was friends with many, many moons ago decided they wanted to spice up their relationship by having a threesome. They had dated since high school, and were engaged to be married. They ended up meeting this crazy girl that systematically destroyed their relationship. She played each of them telling them she was in love with them, wanting them to break it off with the other so they could be together. She was lying to the girl, but was truthful with the guy whom she was really in love with. Indeed that broke them up, and the nutty girl that stole my friend's boyfriend lived happily every after with that guy. To this day I am about 100% sure she has never engaged in any more threesomes because of that tragic event.

This is another story:
That same time frame I had a boyfriend. He and I lived together for many years. We would get on yahoo chat (way back in the day lol), and search for girls to fuck all the time. We had the best time with these women. Why? Because none of them were prettier, thinner or smarter than me. I loved that! (LOL Ha Ha) My confidence was never shattered, and my self-esteem never rocked. So that worked for us LOL.

Fast forward to new men, more opportunities and much better looking & younger women than me. I had to really work on staying focused on who I am, what I am worth and how much I really like and love myself. It was super hard initially, but eventually I broke through to the other side. Now I don't look at sex the same way anymore. More importantly I figure if a guy is going to leave me for another piece of ass then he probably wasn't meant for me anyway. Him kickin' rocks would actually open up the doors for me to meet someone of a highter caliber than him. So in the end it would all work out for the Good.

It is all about how you perceive that particular situation. Meaning how great of a loss are your fearful of? If you see all loss as future positive gain, and you have little to no fear... then a threesome will be something Exciting and Fun. If you fear a great loss, then a threesome with that significant other might not be worth experiencing after all. Because... even if you don't allow him to fuck her in front of you during the threesome, he just might find a way to sneak off down the road to fuck her behind your back without you ever knowing.

Something to think about before deciding to take the plunge. (To Fuck or Not To Fuck... That is the question lol)

To answer your question:
- If it were my boyfriend I wouldn't care if he fucked the other woman because after that I wouldn't want to hear the word "No" when I ask him to help fulfill some of my fantasies/bucket list items. (LOL Hee Hee - Silly lol).

Also having the pleasure of a threesome, WOW. It is a lot of work trying to please one lady, two was hard (pun intended). Get ready for workout if you are trying to please them both and not just get your satisfaction out of it. It was one of the best experiences I've ever had.

To answer the question I your lady doesn't want you to fuck the other girl I wouldn't do unless you want another threesome in the future. Do WHATEVER she says and she will probably let you fuck her next time. If it goes well the first time, imagine how much better it can be if you just follow her request the first time.

So she gets to fuck the third person, but he doesn't? That doesn't seem fair. Originally Posted by KCQuestor

I agree, you can be right and threesomeless or take this one on the chin and enjoy the ride.

Once a provider whom is a member or use to be - stated she had a friend that would be glad to partake or would like to meet at the same time - guess she was hinting at both at the same time. Come to find out her friend was a dancer but not provider but had a elite body as per the photo's sent to me - anyway I passed. Her friend was a cut above the provider - and I thought I would tend to spend all my attention to her friend and cause ill feelings. Anyway on the subject providers have boyfriends, etc. - mercy I doubt if I could date or be a boyfriend of a provider - guess if in this situation if it was not for my eyes only - oh well - guess everyone is different.
I remember once is a club in KC around where I live - I arrived when a dancer's other was bringing her to work - inside after awhile I struck a conversation with the dancer as she invited herself to sit - I asked or inquired about her BF driving her to work - she stated either she danced or the light bill , groceries would not be paid or bought - shame in a way - this dancer was very attractive - and pretty.
So I guess I myself would shun away from a provider who had a BF - guess times I thought a provider were all single unattached - how wrong I was. Live and Learn they say.

To answer your question:
- If it were my boyfriend I wouldn't care if he fucked the other woman because after that I wouldn't want to hear the word "No" when I ask him to help fulfill some of my fantasies/bucket list items. (LOL Hee Hee - Silly lol). Originally Posted by Urban Dahlia

Why do I think the guy gets a strapon up his bum if you do a threesome with a girl?

Why do I think the guy gets a strapon up his bum if you do a threesome with a girl? Originally Posted by bigryan2222

If he turned me down afterwards, he'd deserve it.

So she gets to fuck the third person, but he doesn't? That doesn't seem fair. Originally Posted by KCQuestor

LOL concepts such as fairness and logic fall by the wayside when it comes to jealousies and insecurities, which is likely why a woman would want to do a threesome, while stipulating no sex between her boyfriend and the other woman.

We all have our limits and boundaries. Obviously some experimenting in bisexuality on her part is within her boundaries, but sharing her partner isn't. Is it fair? No. But at least she is wise enough to know her limitations beforehand. The real trouble comes when the green eyed monster rears its head after the fact when it is too late to put the toothpaste back in the tube.

Why do I think the guy gets a strapon up his bum if you do a threesome with a girl? Originally Posted by bigryan2222

While that does sound Tons of Fun!

Not always...

I have participated in a few threesomes where the other girl wore the strap-on. I was on all fours (doggie) with her behind me fucking me with the strap-on while the guy was behind her fucking her. Now that's having Skills lol.

I am somewhat of a goon so I kept calling it my version of the Human Centipede LMAO. Sooo if you have seen that movie then we probably already have something in common... a Dark Mind LOL hee hee.

BUT...
Fucking a guy with my strap-on was not necessarily what I was referring to by "fulfilling my fantasies" lol. My Bucket List is long, creative and filled with endless possibilities lol.

I guess I just want things to be Fair for the man and me. I have been single for over 4 years now, and can do Anything I want Whenever I want lol. Sooo for me to enter into a relationship, that guy would need to know that if I watch him fuck another girl. He is going to have to watch me fuck another...