Provider cockblo..."Twatswatting" during reference checks

gimme_that's Avatar
Ok maybe this has not happened to you. If so consider yourself lucky, because its an ugly part of the game that has happened to me and a few other guys at times in the hobby. Not with so much regularity to be a concern, but I wondered if hobbyist and providers have experienced these scenarios.

For providers:

1. The provider ok...that's not ok....

You encounter a female via p411 who has given a client an "ok." You contact her to confirm said ok is good, maybe to get some incite on a description and his tendencies if she cares to share. Maybe she's has only seen him once.

She sends you a response and tells you she suggests that you don't see him. When you inquire about why she "ok'ed" him but doesn't suggest that you see him she becomes mum and silent and won't reveal why. Seems miffed that you even called her or doubted her new reason as to why his is not ok to see now.....maybe. she doesn't like you.

The ref cancels contact, and you choose to make you own decision on what to do going forward. His other references all had superlatives as to his demeanor. But the one you couldn't get is on your mind, and may determine if you go forward or not.

A. Maybe she just doesn't want the competition, or she wants to limit his chances of seeing new ladies so he will book her again since he can't verify with other ladies through her....

B. Maybe she wants to undercut you an offer a better rate.

C. Maybe she just doesn't like you as a provider in general and just choose not to assist you.

Ok so here's the question for providers......

Let's say you decide to still see him based on his other refs and maybe a good conversation to guage his demeanor via phone. A total conversation unrelated to the issue, just about the eager anticipation of meeting and setting up a date. Maybe you see him other times without even mentioning it.

1. Would you under ANY circumstance reveal to this client that one of his references was not speaking favorably about him? If so why, if not why?

2. Would one provider reference out of others hold weight in making your decline seeing a client if she was the only singular one that was negative? Or do you base your decision on other screening methods of your own?

Now I know most provider responses initially might be to never reveal that due to "provider code" and not violate the discreetness of the reference. But would you ever? If you don't care to post on it, you can pm me your thoughts as well. I know this is a sensitive topic to discuss and would stimulate thought in this section.

______________________________ _________

For clients:

1. Have you ever had a reference you thought was good, she even maybe gave you an ok and you found out she was cockblocking you from seeing other ladies with lies and untruths? When it happened how did you handle it, how did it make you feel?

Was it for something trivial like no tip, you took too long to cum, you didn't book her again, or you booked someone else for a longer booking than her, etc?

2. Should providers reveal this to you, or should they remain mum to avoid drama and not violate the trust of the reference verification process?
The less said about others in this business the better. Do what it takes to stay safe for the ladies and to stay satisfied with great service for the guys and don't cross the line with anything more. Just my 2 Texas cents.
For clients:

1. Have you ever had a reference you thought was good, she even maybe gave you an ok and you found out she was cockblocking you from seeing other ladies with lies and untruths? When it happened how did you handle it, how did it make you feel?

Was it for something trivial like no tip, you took too long to cum, you didn't book her again, or you booked someone else for a longer booking than her, etc?

2. Should providers reveal this to you, or should they remain mum to avoid drama and not violate the trust of the reference verification process? Originally Posted by gimme_that
1. I've thought I was the subject of cockblocking (nice phrase, BTW) from time, but could never prove it. Generally, chalked it up to my board persona.

2. Good luck with that. It'll never happen.
shorty's Avatar
I've had this happen to me twice by the same provider. First time she did it she was reclutant to give the reference but did give it after the lady questioned her about my other references. Needless to say I blasted the provider that wouldn't give up the reference until later on. Bad part of it all was she was a regular of mine until she wouldn't give up the reference. Second time she tried to blackball me from seeing a touring lady that I didn't need references for because we always got together when she came to town anyways. After that point, I've never spoke to her and she's pretty much nonexistant on here and gone back to BP for advertising.
Sweet N Little's Avatar
1. No. Its none of my business....telling = drama

2. If she was some one I knew as reputable, then yes. If she ok'ed him, was someone I didn't know, I would think it was a cock block. Ive had it happen once and the girl was nuts come to find out.

However I use other screening methods and very seldom rely on other provider's. I prefer my own methods.
Naomi4u's Avatar
Some ladies are just downright vindictive.
I've had a guy tell me that a provider won't honor his request for a reference
because I'm a black girl. Just plain uglyness.. I'll answer the questions in a few.

A. Maybe she just doesn't want the competition, or she wants to limit his chances of seeing new ladies so he will book her again since he can't verify with other ladies through her....

B. Maybe she wants to undercut you an offer a better rate.

C. Maybe she just doesn't like you as a provider in general and just choose not to assist you. Originally Posted by gimme_that
I keep to myself in Atlanta. I communicate with one other woman that lives here. I don't rely on references because I don't want others to know what I am up to. No drama for me or for the man that's about to spend time with me.
Sweet N Little's Avatar
I keep to myself in Atlanta. I communicate with one other woman that lives here. I don't rely on references because I don't want others to know what I am up to. No drama for me or for the man that's about to spend time with me. Originally Posted by Ansley
+1 ...That's the best way to do it, works perfect for me

Hot new avatar BTW!!
+1 ...That's the best way to do it, works perfect for me

Hot new avatar BTW!! Originally Posted by Sweet N Little
Thanks pretty lady. Gearing up for the rodeo and a ZZ Top concert.

I would like to add that I will always reply to reference checks very promptly, but without much detail.
+1 ...That's the best way to do it, works perfect for me Originally Posted by Sweet N Little
Yeah, sometimes familiarity breeds contempt.
Sweet N Little's Avatar
Thanks pretty lady. Gearing up for the rodeo and a ZZ Top concert.

I would like to add that I will always reply to reference checks very promptly, but without much detail. Originally Posted by Ansley
I'm the same about keeping details to a minimum
as what may bother some, I could care less about and vice versa, only pertinent info should be all that is necessary.

ZZ Top was my first concert, Ive seen them 3 times. Have fun!
Naomi4u's Avatar
Ok SNL I will be calling you for a screening refresher course. Most guys I screen using datecheck/p411 and I've never had a problem with the guy. Just weird providers not wanting to give references because it hurts their business...they say.
Some providers just don't reply to reference requests out here. I know who they are and don't bother with them anymore. Kind of sad really, there's plenty to go around. I'll still give them a reference if they ask though. I do weigh the opinions of reputable providers more than ones I know are sketchy/flaky.
I don't feel the need to tell him who did and who didn't, because in the end he would get approved....the exception would be if he only had one ref and she did not reply. Then it's kind of obvious. I have yet to have a "do not see" response from a provider. I mostly use P411 and occasionally call/email the more well known providers on his okay list for extra verification.
I've had it happen to me with a client who forewarned me he had a less than pleasant experience in an unusual situation with a lady, but she was his only reference, so he went for it. I listened to his side, then contacted her for the reference, and for sure heard her side, and made the choice to see him since she was a known dramatic provider in the first place.

I've also made the mistake of seeing someone when I contacted the lady she totally called him everything but a child of god. He was one of the types who was very unhappy with himself, so he scrutinized every move I made. If I wasn't smiling, I wasn't into him. I don't regret seeing him, because it feels good telling him I'm not going to see him again today.

I don't think it's proper to reveal things about what the reference said. Only to say that the lady had good things to say, and that you've agreed to meet him.
gimme_that's Avatar
I don't think it's proper to reveal things about what the reference said. Only to say that the lady had good things to say, and that you've agreed to meet him. Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson
Ill disagree with the proper part and say ymmv on who you tell client wise.

When a few of those providers informed me of a ref that spoke bad about me I knew the risk she was taking telling me but also was appreciative that she let me know so I didn't use the other lady as a reference anymore. The key if this is revealed to you is to maintain silence, and under no circumstances as a client do I reveal or confront the other lady on the issue.