Provider Income..what to do with it?

I have a provider friend who is married, but she handles all the financial book keeping for the family. Her husband rarely looks at their bank accounts, but she is worried he might look closer at the one of her accounts and notice multiple deposits. The total amount in the account she can explain; it's the multiple, varying deposits that she fears might attract attention.

Her question is; what can she do with the money to avoid being caught other than hide it under a mattress? What do other providers do that are married or have significant others?
Naomi4u's Avatar
First of all, what she's doing is wrong but that's nót the question.
1) she could open up another account and keep mum or
2) she could get a safe at the bank or a fire proof safe and hide it somewhere in the house.

BTW hiding cash under the mattress or in a shoe box is not smart at all.

I've never been married so take it for what It's worth.
I use INGDIRECT.com. Take a look at their services. I have been extremely happy for the 2 years I've been with them. However, they were just acquired by Capitol One, so some policies may change. Everything is online, and you can mail deposits.
Nothing wrong with a "rainy day" fund that no one knows about

She should keep quiet, make her way down to the bank and open another account, or go get a safety deposit box.....
DallasRain's Avatar
I always share everything with my hubby...if there is hiding going on,that breeds distrust and resentment and other negative things...she should feel comfortable enough to be honest & open

But everybody has their own life,so just tell her to be very careful whatever she does......maybe just get a few prepaid credit cards to hide in her wallet or underwear drawer.

{I am not judging her....that is just my opinion}
Who are we to judge her?

Tell her to get another bank account and get the statement via email. She also needs to let someone else know about the account and how to access it in case something was to happen to her (God forbid).
Missy Mariposa's Avatar
While I'm not one to judge, maybe she should just tell the truth. An affair is one thing but being a provider is a whole completely different ballpark. Hiding something like that is only going to destroy the relationship in the long run, whereas if she tells him maybe he'll be alright with it (or at least come to terms with it).

I'm of the belief that everyone has the right to live their life, and that every action has a consequence. If she wants to provide and hide it from him, that's fine. But she has to be prepared for the reality of what happens if he were to discover her. She will likely be sleeping with hundreds of men. Eased into it, and maybe even part of it (in the sense that they're open/honest about the job) is one thing. But having it dropped on you randomly one day? Completely different story.

On a similar note I feel that if a woman chooses to withhold sex that's 100% her right, but she should not be surprised when her husband fulfills his needs elsewhere.

As far as hiding the money should she choose that route? INGDirect has great rates, but as someone said before they were just acquired so things may change. I know people's biggest complaint is that you have to hook it up to another chequing account and make "transfers" into it. I found it to be too much trouble and got an account at a local credit union instead.
JONBALLS's Avatar
unless its a legit biz with tax returns, its beyond me why anyone would think of leaving a paper trail..start some kinda legit biz with someone that knows how to make your cash grow and launder your money efficiently and retire earlier...screw some talented accountants
Like all these guys should let their wives know they're sleeping with other women? lol mmmk.

Just have her get a savings account in her name (if they have children - put it in one of her children's names that the child gets it on this birthday in the event of her death) or get a hidy hole somewhere. But yes, tell someone about it. You don't have to explain where the money came from. Just that you're saving up.
Sweet N Little's Avatar
She could always put it on a Visa/ card??


Limits
Card balance (with cash load) $2,500
Minimum Initial Load $10, varies by retailer
Card balance (with direct deposit) $10,000
Daily cash load limit $2,500
Daily direct deposit load limit $10,000
Daily ATM withdrawal limit $400
Daily bank teller cash withdrawal limit $400
Daily spend limit
(includes all outgoing transaction activities, such as purchases, ATM transactions, etc.) $2,500
Naomi4u's Avatar
She could always put it on a Visa/ card??


Limits
Card balance (with cash load) $2,500
Minimum Initial Load $10, varies by retailer
Card balance (with direct deposit) $10,000
Daily cash load limit $2,500
Daily direct deposit load limit $10,000
Daily ATM withdrawal limit $400
Daily bank teller cash withdrawal limit $400
Daily spend limit
(includes all outgoing transaction activities, such as purchases, ATM transactions, etc.) $2,500 Originally Posted by Sweet N Little
is not a good idea at all love.
First of all look at the limits they have.
Second, they can seize your money/close your account if they find out how you make it.
The thing is, while I don't judge her in any way, there's always the risk that her husband finds out where the extra money is ( if she stashes it, and he finds out, for example. IMHO it's possible to give an opinion without judging the person. Without having the thread go off-topic I think she should really just be honest about her escorting OR, she could have a viable excuse. Does she have any other extra-money making possible sources of income, like selling things, art, etc? She could always tell her husband the 'extra money' comes from those sources if she thinks he'd flip over the escorting part. But I just don't think it's a good idea to lie about something so important. ) she's going to have to come up with a story.

And I don't think any of the other girls here are saying that to be judgemental. We're thinking about the possible ramifications about what if the husband finds out the extra stash of money and what is the wife going to TELL HIM if he finds out about it?
Sweet N Little's Avatar
is not a good idea at all love.
First of all look at the limits they have.
Second, they can seize your money/close your account if they find out how you make it. Originally Posted by ZarahAdams
I thought that was just paypal, wow..didnt know that as Ive used it for quite a while (not huge sums though) .

I was just trying to think of the least non paper trail easy way.
Naomi4u's Avatar
The thing is, while I don't judge her in any way, there's always the risk that her husband finds out where the extra money is ( if she stashes it, and he finds out, for example. IMHO it's possible to give an opinion without judging the person. Without having the thread go off-topic I think she should really just be honest about her escorting OR, she could have a viable excuse. Does she have any other extra-money making possible sources of income, like selling things, art, etc? She could always tell her husband the 'extra money' comes from those sources if she thinks he'd flip over the escorting part. But I just don't think it's a good idea to lie about something so important. ) she's going to have to come up with a story.

And I don't think any of the other girls here are saying that to be judgemental. We're thinking about the possible ramifications about what if the husband finds out the extra stash of money and what is the wife going to TELL HIM if he finds out about it? Originally Posted by alluringava
Exactly. Well put!
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@ Snl, the non paper trail way would be under mattress lol.
I, too, use but I'm very careful with it. I wouldn't advise anyone to put large amounts of money in there.
Wakeup's Avatar
Don't be surprised...almost every bank has a clause in their user agreement that you will not use the account to purchase or hold money from illegal goods and services...any bank can seize your hooker money...