Claw marks, shit!

All up and down my back. How do I explain this to my SO?

tell her you were cougar wrestling!!!

Damn smurf that sucks, gotta watch out for those cougars!

I think you'll get in a lot less trouble if you "admit" going to a strip club than a provider. Say you bought a dance, she asked if you wanted extras, you said HELL NO, and she clawed at your back on purpose to get you in trouble.

Something similar happened to me in Vegas. But it was only a few good scratches, not several up and down and all over. Soooo, maybe she called over a friend stripper and they mauled you before you could get a manager over LOL!

Step 1) Tell us who the lady was that did this to you so it doesn't happen to us.

Step 2) Wear a t-shirt for as long as you can. Blame the cold weather.

Step 3) Eventually she'll notice the marks. Blame it on that "damn chair massage girl at Half-Price Books" last week.

lmao...tell her it was the midget!

There was this cat stuck in a tree, and being the good samaritan that I am......

You were at a store looking at a really nice coat/dress/lingerie/whatever for her, and there was this big clumsy guy who leaned on a display and started a domino falling clothing rack effect, and wham! Better have a bloody, shredded shirt to show her, and a really nice coat/dress/lingerie/whatever.

That actually DID happen to me at a women's store once and I had big scratches down my thigh and a shredded skirt - and a $1000 gift certificate from the manager NOT to report it to corporate, plus $200 cash from a guy who was worried I'd sue him, or contact his wife and tell her that he wasn't shopping the big gal section for her.

Get rid of the SO, and get more scratch marks!! Simple!!

Ooh la la, Lilsmurf! You must know how to PUT IT DOWN in the bedroom!You devil, you!

Do something bad.. Get yourself put in jail for a few days. Problem solved with much less collateral damage.

Go buy a back scratcher and scratch the rest of your back up. Make sure you do it in front of her a few times. Explain how you think you may be allergic to some soap or laundry detergent and your back has been itching like crazy.



You must have some pretty good dick, call me sometime.

On a related note, what the hell do you do with a hickey. Teenage daughters were sure to notice, much to my horror...

Go buy a back scratcher and scratch the rest of your back up. Make sure you do it in front of her a few times. Explain how you think you may be allergic to some soap or laundry detergent and your back has been itching like crazy.



You must have some pretty good dick, call me sometime. Originally Posted by Infamous BJ

Best suggestion!!

There was a customer that I use to see, and i would always leave red marks on his back, nothing bad though. So one day he came to see me and brought me some gloves to wear.