Communication Skills

Okay, so I know this is the second turn-off thread today, but I'm writing while it is happening.

I'm traveling now and in a smaller city where ECCIE doesn't have a board and there aren't many reviewed providers. This town is probably about the size of Lafayette. So, I went to P411 to scout the scene, saw a provider (not an ECCIE member) whose picture, three reviews, ad and price were appealing. She listed e-mail as the only way to contact her, so I sent her the following message through the site:

"Hi, Nicole (name changed). I'm intrigued by your photos and ad. I'll be in town for a few days and I might be interested in getting together with you. Are your sessions GFE? What is your availability over the next day or two?

I hope to hear from you soon.

Musman

This was her reply:

"Yes, my sessions are GFE. I am prompt and expect good hygiene. I am available tonight. Please let me know where your staying, time, and what day.

(Unsigned)

Her reply was curt and to the point. While she gave me the right answers and could have sealed the deal from my point of view with those answers, it left me cold and looking at other options. There wasn't anything sweet or personable in there - not even a businesslike "thanks for your interest", (okay, she did put in one "please"). There was no use of names or hints of a sexy or fun personality. If she had given me her number, I would have called to hear her voice and get a better clue to her personality before deciding whether or not to see her, (pickings are slim around here). As it is, I'm thinking the session might not be much fun and I'm looking elsewhere. If she had shown a little personality or if she had worded her response more nicely, she would have been in my pocket - (and I would have been in hers ).

So, that was a long build-up to this question I thought might help out some newer providers. Guys, what have providers you've never met said or done during the communications & screening stages, (e-mails, messages or phone calls), that turned you off to making a date with them?

Ladies, you may want to chime in with some mistakes you may have made coming up that cost you business with a client you would have seen. Frankly, most of the time you might not know you turned him off because you just didn't hear back from him. But, if he was or later became a hobbiest with a good reputation, you might remember questioning yourself about why that session never happened - or you might have hung up the phone and said to yourself, "why did I say that with that tone of voice?". Well, you fill in the blanks...

Musman

It appears as if two things are going on: 1) She has a high volume of emails and is a bit overwhelmed. 2.) She's not getting that many requests, so she's trying to get straight to the point without a lot of fuss. Business is usually kind of slow all around in March-- restaurants, retail shops, salons, providers, etc. You all spent so much on that Valentine's present for the wifey.

I'm usually completely turned off by someone who doesn't write in complete sentences, can't spell, or uses too many abbreviations where they're not needed. If I've taken the time to write an ad out using proper and respectful grammar and mechanics, I expect the same from the man or couple inquiring about my services.

It appears as if two things are going on: 1) She has a high volume of emails and is a bit overwhelmed. 2.) She's not getting that many requests, so she's trying to get straight to the point without a lot of fuss. Business is usually kind of slow all around in March-- restaurants, retail shops, salons, providers, etc. You all spent so much on that Valentine's present for the wifey. Originally Posted by Jacquie

It occurred to me that she might be too busy - or too bothered. In either case, I've received many written communications from ladies who spurred my interest rather than killing it. If she's too busy, its just as well that we aren't hooking up. If she isn't busy enough, that is all the more reason to take the time to impress a potential client - or at least not chase him off. I think that, more often than not, these deal killer responses are a result of life getting in the way of her business sense - or not having a clue about how the business she is in works.

MM

TBH, until you're screened..I'm extremely businesslike to the point of curtness. I do thank whomever for their interest and immediately go to the "get screened schpeal".

Even after screening, I'm pretty non-committal. On the phone also. Basically until we meet, I am polite and businesslike.

Love and adore the people who send their info, appointment date and time and special requests in in one polite concise email. Get the BS outta the way so we can play.

Lots of emails + lots of bs emails = what could be considered an abrupt reply.

TBH, until you're screened..I'm extremely businesslike to the point of curtness. I do thank whomever for their interest and immediately go to the "get screened schpeal".

Even after screening, I'm pretty non-committal. On the phone also. Basically until we meet, I am polite and businesslike.

Love and adore the people who send their info, appointment date and time and special requests in in one polite concise email. Get the BS outta the way so we can play.

Lots of emails + lots of bs emails = what could be considered an abrupt reply. Originally Posted by babee

This contact was through P411, and I have a number of okays from respected providers on the site. The idea is supposed to be that screening, if any, is minimal when contacted through the site. Of course, I don't mind giving additional references if a lady asks, but I can't say any of them from P411 have asked. My experience was more like the conversation with a screened client just working out (from her side) the scheduling - while he might still be evaluating whether or not he wants to move on to that stage.

The ad and reviews don't necessarily seal the deal. It's the communications and delivery through the screening and scheduling stages that seal it (unless the little head is already sold).

While polite and business like is all one can ask for, a little light flirtation and a sweet tone to communications goes a long way towards closing the sale. I don't think a client expects her to drop into her GFE role or try to get him worked up in anticipation of meeting her, (although it works for some ladies). If I'm talking to a provider and she comes across as cold, deadpan or barely interested before I've even met her, I'll be questioning whether or not I want to see her. On the other hand, if she is friendly, flirtatious, humerous, (any of the above) and appears to be looking forward to the visit. I'll be encouraged.

Your last paragraph pretty much sums up one idea I had, Babee. She gets so many e-mails and so much BS from guys that it is hard fo her to respond with any enthusiasm to all of them, especially if it comes at a time when she just went through an issue with a client or in her personal life. Would it work for her to write up and save a number of responses or sentences and copy/paste them into replies depending on the situation and how she reads the potential client? She could change them to fit. It seems like the replies for a jerk (if any) or a need for additional screening information would be pretty standard stuff that can be written when a girl is in a good mood and thinking positively. Like the cliche' says, "it's not what you say as much as how you say it".

She may be sitting in a room somewhere wondering why she doesn't have any business tonight and not knowing that she lost a session - or she could be so busy she doesn't give a shit. Who knows? Obviously, I'm not getting laid in this town if I'm sitting around my room playing on ECCIE to pass the time. It's not for a lack of trying - the pickings are too slim...

MM

Good questions and responses. I always book in advance so I have plenty of time to do my research. Most of the ladies I have seen have had a presence on the boards that I watch and the tone and intelligence of their posts is what usually gets me thinking of setting up a time. A nice showcase helps, of course, but brains are sexy. Sorry you struck out MM but I understand. Just not much warmth in her reply or encouragement either for that matter.

I think regardless of your p411 oks, it still good to provide this info babee provided in this quote...

?Love and adore the people who send their info, appointment date and time and special requests in in one polite concise email. ?

Although it would be nice to negate further screening rhetoric after having current and known ok's I always go a lil further in organizing all the info in case one of my refs is unavailiable to vouch for me.

P411 is not immune to LE, so some ladies take extra precautions and call your refs and or email. Some ladies deem the oks sufficient and leave it at that, every lady varies so I just send as much info in the first email so she can opt to work from there.

Personability in emails is hard to convey sometimes, if she provides extra info after Im screened promptly im content. The actual confirming phone call for a first time meet is the most important too me. With ATFs and regular ladies I saw before... a simple ur date is confirmed was enough via email.

MM. not knocking you. I understand what you are saying. I've probably not booked due to not being all flirty...but until we meet (and even then) I really don't know who I'm dealing with. After we've met, that's a different story.

p411 is a tool, nothing more nothing less. I think it's the best one out there (my opinion). I used to book just off a p411 request. Not anymore. The game has changed.

And ya know, I don't text or IM. She might have been texting. Prepaid. Charged by the character. That'd be a short and to the point reply also.

Still a bummer for you.

In my experiences, I start the flirtation and do not wait for the provider to start. My first email has plenty of info with refs, phone#, a little bit about me. I am also flirtatious and honest, I explain to the lady in a polite and soothing way what it was about her that attracted me. Usually, but certainly not always, the response email to set appt. is flirtatious.

For example I might email the lady like this:

Hi provider,

I am outdoorsman from Eccie and I have viewed your ad and website, I am really attracted to you, your smile in the first photo I saw told me I need to set something up with this adorable lady. I think it would great if your sessions were GFE, that way I know we would have a blast together. If not just let me know please so I can know what to expect.

I will PM you from Eccie so you know it is actually me contacting you. Here are some current refs......

I certainly hope we can work things out, I will be in town on ..... I look forward to hearing from you and am waiting to hear I am approved and you have time for me!!!

Outdoorsman

My emails tend to be longer but I think the lady gets a feel for who I am and usually some flirty comments come back. But if she does not say anything nice and keeps to the strict business like tone, I do not write her off just yet. As I have seen ladies that are very business like on the messages and are still GFE and a lot of fun. It is after the first session if I do not feel the connection I do not repeat.

I will say for me, the business like attitude has to stop when I arrive at the door. When we first see each other, I want the date to begin. Once, and only once, I had a lady request the envelope at the door before letting me in, she reached in and counted the donation prior to letting me in. Started that session off bad and it ended bad, I will not see her again. I wear suits a lot and usually have the envelope in my coat pocket. If it is a first date I pull out once I am in the room and put on a night stand or dresser. I have never had any lady pull it out and count it in front of me. For me that is a big turn off!! Just me.

I do appreciate this thread MM, because pre-date flirting, post date flirting, hell flirting is just plain fun for me, so yes I like it too. I tend to find what I project out is what I usually get back - so if I am flirty I usually get flirty back, not always. Just a suggestion, I hope you find something for where you are going and most of all have FUN!!

Her reply was curt and to the point. While she gave me the right answers and could have sealed the deal from my point of view with those answers, it left me cold and looking at other options

u have to give benefit of doubt some times. because she maybe like me ,and is replying using her cell phone and doesnt want to type a long response. cause when i am useing my phone i sent shorter messages and they tend to have more mis spelled words

u have to give benefit of doubt some times. because she maybe like me ,and is replying using her cell phone and doesnt want to type a long response. cause when i am useing my phone i sent shorter messages and they tend to have more mis spelled words Originally Posted by mrbig2284

Yeah, Babee mentioned that, too. It makes sense and it would be a valid reason for shorter responses.

MM

Good questions and responses. I always book in advance so I have plenty of time to do my research. Most of the ladies I have seen have had a presence on the boards that I watch and the tone and intelligence of their posts is what usually gets me thinking of setting up a time. A nice showcase helps, of course, but brains are sexy. Sorry you struck out MM but I understand. Just not much warmth in her reply or encouragement either for that matter. Originally Posted by docdavid49

+1 SAME here the gray stuff between the ears is a huge turn on for me. good looks don't hurt either, but its the gray stuff that is what TURNS ME ON!!! I have trouble deciding on looks alone, I want a little insight into what she thinks about day in and day out.
Like I know exactly what Dallas thinks!
ALWAYS!!!