Limric thread: Who is next?

A lusty young plumber from Brea
Was plumbing his girl by the sea
She said, "Stop your plumbing.
I think someone is coming."
"Your right lass", said he"...and its ME!"

There once was lady from Exeter.
So pretty that men craned their necks at her.
One was even so brave, as to take out and wave
The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.

And A Bonus One

There once was a couple named Kelly.
Who died laying belly to bellly.
It seems in their haste,
they used Library Paste
instead of petroleum jelly.

There was a young man of Bombay,
Who fashioned a cunt out of clay.
But the heat of his prick,
Turned it into a brick,
And chafed all his foreskin away.


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And of course, the most famous one of all time:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
If my ear were a cunt I would fuck it

______________________________ ______________________________ ____

My name is Pasqualie
I sell the tamale
I makea two dollar a day

I go see my Nellie
I bounce on her belly
She takes the two dollar away

Tim and I a camping we went
Came across three girls in a tent
Them being three
I bucked one and Tim bucked two

There once was a lady named Alice
That used DYNAMITE for a phalus...
They found her vagina
In South Carolina
And part of her anus in DALLAS !!

There was a young fellow named Tucker
Who, instructing a novice cocksucker,Said, "Don't blow out your lipsLike an elephant's hips; The boys like it best when you pucker."
A pansy who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room,And they argued a lotAbout who would do what And how and with which and to whom. There once was a man from Cheaney
Who spilled some gin on his weenie.
Lacking in couth,
He added vermouth
And slipped his wife a martini!

There once was a lady Annheiuser
Who claimed that no man could surprise her
But Pabst took a chance
found a Schlitz in his pants
and now, she is sadder.. Budweiser...


Not a limerick, but still one of my favorites:

The sexual life of the camel
Is stranger than anyone thinks.
At the height of the mating season
He tries to bugger the sphinx.
But the sphinx's posterior sphincter
Is all clogged by the sands of the Nile,
Which accounts for the hump on the camel
And the sphinx's inscrutable smile.

There was a young man from Tashkent
Whose dick was exceedingly bent
To save him some trouble
He put it in double
And instead of coming .. he went!

A Variation on Alice:

There once was a girl named Jill
Used dynamite sticks for a thrill
They found her agina in South Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazille

A transexual gent form Kartum
Took a lesbian up to his room
All night did they fuss and fume
Over who would do what and with wich—and to whom!