OT - Chestnuts

Last night I had some friends over, and wanted to show off. So I roasted some nuts as part of the snacks. I included the traditional chestnuts… a full cookie sheet worth of them. Let me add that I’ve never roasted chestnuts before. So when the oven timer went off, I slowly walked out of my living room into the kitchen, and pulled the tray from the oven.

I was still trying to carry on a conversation, so I wasn’t paying much attention to the nuts. I was bending over, so the tray was at an angle and the nuts started rolling around, bumping into each other.

Did you know that chestnuts will EXPLODE when they’re over-roasted? I didn’t.
I first realized the chestnuts were over-roasted as they started EXPLODING in front of me. And as each nut exploded, the pieces hit the other nuts on the tray causing them to explode as well. And the sound? We’re not talking about a little pop here. Chestnuts detonate with a sharp, loud BANG that sounds like a 9mm Glock.

Last… did you know that when chestnuts explode, they spray goo everywhere?

So picture the scene: you’re at my little get-together; you hear sounds like GUNFIRE from the kitchen. You run into the kitchen and see me standing next to the oven, with a tray of shattered nut guts, covered in goo (like the Bill Murray scene from “Ghostbusters.”)

Next year, I'll roast cashews and pecans. F*** the chestnuts.

Who knew nuts could be so dangerous?

And when I stop laughing and splitting a gut, I'm gonna wrap my own nuts in bubblewrap to keep from exploding! oh gawd, deep breath, my ribs hurt...now that's funny!