2014 New and Improved

Happy New Year harlequin girls and testosterone boys. I've a confession to make. I've been cheating on you. I've been spending all my time on my job and real life but they don't mean anything to me, I swear! As I sit here playing with a few of my sweet Christmas presents...my new Easy Bake M**h Lab, Breaking Bad edition, and my limited edition Jesse Jane "Gauntlet" fleshlight which just so happens to remind me of a certain local provider, in both look and feel, I'm reflecting back on 2013 which as it turned out didn't suck all that bad...except when I stopped playing. So much more difficult then I thought.

2014 started out on a surprisingly good note with an impromptu threesome which does not count against my sabbatical since there was nothing exchanged for said coitus and none of us were professionals. Well maybe a retired professional of the female kind (she's not a porn star, she just fucks like one) but again, that don't count. Out with the old, in with the delicious and slippery.

I'm not big on resolutions but hey if you want to lose weight, stop smoking, grow a bigger dick (if you figure that one out let me know), get that boob job, more power to you. How about another tattoo or three. Maybe you're going to finally get that clitoral hood piercing (my offer still stands), cauterize your conch, tat your taint...nipple piercing anyone, have a 3some, a 4some, or just get some. Or maybe...just maybe, and this is my personal favorite, you're going to stop giving a fuck what other people think and finally start living your life on your own terms. Do what you want, when you want with whomever you want. Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead.

A couple words of advice as you usher in the new and improved 2014 version of you. It's a lot harder then you'd think, number one, and number two, it's probably a good idea to have a Saul Goodman(ish) type lawyer in your corner (I have one of the female variety and even she is hot as fuck) for those sticky situations that will surely arise when you embrace the "I don't give a fuck lifestyle" or remain in the hobby for any length of time.

If you have to Google who Saul Goodman is I pity you.

Regardless of where you stand, I wish you all the best that 2014 has to offer. Me, no resolutions other then to switch back to tequila as my drink of choice (maybe) and to find or learn to make the perfect Crab Rangoon and a fall to your knees panty peeling Sushi Roll which has thus far eluded me. I would like to offer up a few suggestions to help make 2014 the sexiest and most decadent year to date. I suggest that you start these immediately.

Whisper more wantingly
Nibble more nefariously
Lick more lavishly
Thrust more thoroughly
Suck more sensually
Tickle more temptingly
Touch more teasingly
Squeeze more suggestively
Pet more pleasingly
Fondle more freely
Dream more deliciously
Indulge more invitingly

Now stop fucking around and go make shit happen and while your at it don't forget to support your local provider. Better yet, spoil the living shit out of her. They make these cold ass winters tolerable and keep those sweltering summer days and nights full of dangerous and delicious possibilities.

Carpe Diem mother fuckers.

MMMMMMMMMMMMM your post made me so horny for you! wish I was there!!

You're an evil, evil temptress. See you in the Spring.

Happy New Year and best wihes to you my friend. We will definately have to meet up for a drink or two this year..that's my resolution for the year anyway

Happy New Year and best wihes to you my friend. We will definately have to meet up for a drink or two this year..that's my resolution for the year anyway Originally Posted by Gladiator69

...and make Kay buy the first round. She can serve as eye candy and giggle while we exchange war stories. Maybe some body shots off her yummy lady parts.

"Or maybe...just maybe, and this is my personal favorite, you're going to stop giving a fuck what other people think and finally start living your life on your own terms. Do what you want, when you want with whomever you want. Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead."

Abso-fuckin-lutely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Time and money.

Or was that, Time and materials?

Here, here. What they all said. Happy new year all.

Cy

...and make Kay buy the first round. She can serve as eye candy and giggle while we exchange war stories. Maybe some body shots off her yummy lady parts. Originally Posted by livn2do

waiiit a second.... hot chicks dont have to buy drinks.. why do i feel like you are setting me up for failure here. lol Happy New Year livN baby ur the best

waiiit a second.... hot chicks dont have to buy drinks.. why do i feel like you are setting me up for failure here. lol Happy New Year livN baby ur the best Originally Posted by Kay2Day

Setting you up for failuure? Doing body shots off your lady parts with 2 of your favorite gentlemen sounds like a winner to me! Just for the record, I've had plenty of hot chicks buy me drinks. I think they were trying to get me drunk so they could have their way with me. Silly girls

Setting you up for failuure? Doing body shots off your lady parts with 2 of your favorite gentlemen sounds like a winner to me! Just for the record, I've had plenty of hot chicks buy me drinks. I think they were trying to get me drunk so they could have their way with me. Silly girls Originally Posted by Gladiator69

g;ad
hhmmmmm i wonder how good of a GLADIATOR u are when your drinking.... hmmmm.. and your right body shots with two of my favorite guys does sounds like fun... when can we make this happen lol

g;ad
hhmmmmm i wonder how good of a GLADIATOR u are when your drinking.... hmmmm.. and your right body shots with two of my favorite guys does sounds like fun... when can we make this happen lol Originally Posted by Kay2Day

Never had any complaints so far, but as you know I'm out of commission right now and your a little to far south....someday when linvn's up for it count me in tho

Never had any complaints so far, but as you know I'm out of commission right now and your a little to far south....someday when linvn's up for it count me in tho Originally Posted by Gladiator69

ohhhhh i know a few positions u can still get in baby. u cant use the out of comission card forever now LOL i do miss u baby hope you are recovering welll.... my naughty nurse offer still stands tho lol

If he's out of commission, I volunteer as a replacement! I would love to be a part of that group action!! ;-)

lol you see that babe theres already people lining up to fill in for you... you better hurry up and get back in action we cant hold em off forever LOL