What's your worst hobby experience?

All in all I've had mainly positive experiences in the hobby, ranging from good to fantastic. However, when I first started out and didn't understand the importance of research, I had a few less than savory experiences.

Probably the worst of these happened in Vegas. Prior to this I'd met with only one escort who I found on the Austin Chronicle's Adult section if you can believe that, and amazingly enough it wasn't that bad (hey at least I didn't get robbed!). So I figure Vegas must be incredible! Sin City! More hot top-notch providers than you can shake a stick at! What could go wrong?

So I settle on this one smoking hot provider I found on eros and got her contact info to take with me (this was way before smart phones). I get out there and finally work up the courage to call, and I talk to a really sweet, sexy voice that tells me that she's available and will be at my hotel room shortly. No talk of refs or any kind of verification, which if I were doing this today would have been a big red flag.

About 30 minutes later there's a knock on the door, I jump about 10 feet and try to calm down as I go to open it. Well...the good news is, she's actually pretty attractive. The bad news is she has this look on her face like this is the last place on earth she wants to be, and I better keep my goddam hands to myself if I know what's good for me. Also, she's not the girl in the ads, or the one on the phone. Plus she kinda looks like someone I know, which is weirding me out.

Her rate was $300, which I had in an envelope on the dresser. She takes a look at it, asks if that's all I have, and after I confirm that yes, that's all I have, she's explains how she'll need at least double that for Mr. Happy to go spelunking. Okay...so what can we do instead? She tells me she can dance for me while I service myself. At this point I know things have gone off the rails, but I was young and stupid and didn't understand the sunk-cost fallacy, so I timidly whip it out while she "dances." Her dancing amounts to half-assed gyrations with an incredibly bored look on her face, and pretty quickly I know there's no way I'm finishing. I explain as much to her, at which point she packs up, grabs her money, and suggests that next time I bring more money with me. Fun times.

In summary: I paid $300 to jerk off for a few minutes in front of a bored, resentful "stripper."

My worst was the time when the provider wanted to step out on the balcony at a nice hotel. We sat outside, I, nervous as hell, while she lit up a "smoke". She took a few hits then we went inside. Place wash trashy as hell. We got in bed and I started to try and make out with her but she said, watch my hair. She had a social that night. The only position we could really do was k9. I hit it a few times but kept thinking about what Bernie Mac said in Kings of Comedy. " and if you do get some, you better not fuck with her hair. (Doing doggy) She shouts, don't touch my Hair!!!!)

Go read my review on "Speedfucking 101"...

Lol Toyz that's hilarious. Hey, at least you got off!

Took a chance once on a BP option. Turns out she didn't want any oral of any kind, did allow dome doggie and mish, but very mechanical and not worth it at all. Basically taught me to avoid BP for the most part.

Picked up a very voluptuous blond lady in an Atlanta Bar. We agreed to meet in my hotel room where she said we needed $300 to party. She took the money and put it in her purse with her back to me.

She then asked over her shoulder if I was ready to party; and I said yes. She then lowered her pants and turned around with an 8" penis in "her" hand, and asked who gets blown first?

I shouted for "her" to get out and she was laughing at me as she pulled up her pants and was out the door in less than 10 seconds. Obviously not her first rodeo as a hot blond with her penis tucked up her ass, ripping off Johns. She really had me fooled. I had copped a good feel in the Bar and those 36-DDs were real. And, that was the last time that I tried for a Hotel Bar pickup--I sure can choose them (not). Lesson learned.

It took me months of sexual therapy with a number of local ATX providers to get that nightmare out of my head. Thanks to the lovely ATX ladies who rehabilitated me with their tender words and soothing touches.

Damn BugleBoy, talk about scared straight. Holy shit! Great story though.

http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=1472340

Damn BugleBoy, that's going to be hard to top.

Bugle Boy - you had me laughing! Great story! When I first started in the business I had two clients with the same first name. I got them confused one time-hey,it happens. So the client I thought was coming over was going to be my BDSM guy. --- I don't do BDSM except for this one client. So I got ready for the session by putting the restraints out,ect. So when he knocks on the door- I open it - in a full BDSM outfit - including face mask and whip. The client at the door was not the BDSM client--the client at the door was into very sensual play.
The look on his face was priceless. I realized my mistake and started saying I was just dressing up to take a picture. So he walks in and see's the restraints and - I swear- he looked like a deer in headlights. I told him it was all for a photo shoot that I was doing---I don't know if he believed me or not but it never happened again!

Wow, where to begin?

I recall back in the day picking up a lady of the evening down on Congress Avenue. This was pre pre pre ASPD days. This was back when there were no fewer than 30 on most given nights doing the stroll. Well, I pick one up and we begin driving along. Before I knew it, I have what looked to be a snub nosed 38 pressed against my rib cage. I'm like, "WTF?" She attempts to rob me of my money, my wallet, and my watch. I say attempts for it didn't go over so well; for her. Long story short - I removed her from the vehicle all the while maintaining possession of all my belongs INCLUDING her Saturday night special.

The stank. Oh dear lord, the stank. I recall visiting a provider a while back for a FBSM session. When it got down to playtime, she laid down on the massage table and spread her legs wide apart. Goodnight nurse, that field hadn't been mowed in a dogs age. When you say bush, we're talking bush. Bush aside, the smell that came out of that field of nightmares was horrid. I mean, it was all I could do not to blow chunks. And I was like a good 4 feet away. I guess the look on my face was obvious for she told me that 'that scent' was her being aroused by me. Yeah, pull this leg and it plays jingle bells. Aroused, my ass. That was stank. I couldn't get out of there quick enough. Got home and did everything just shy of boiling myself.

Vegas - It's a small freakin' world. Years ago, I was in Vegas attending a conference. I figured, what the hey, let's see about getting a provider to come to my hotel room. Well, I make a call and a provider made her way to the hotel. She immediately began with the Vegas upsell. I knew Vegas prices were ridiculous, but this was beyond ridiculous. She wanted close to two grand for practically nothing. Well, she was cool enough and we got to talking about this and that. Turns out, she was visiting Vegas with her girlfriends from....wait for it......wait for it......Round Rock. Fuckin' Round Rock. Really? I was like, No fuckin' way am I gonna' pay Vegas prices to a gal visiting from Round Rock, Texas. We both got a huge laugh out of this; her from Round Rock, me from Austin. Both of us in Vegas. Evening turned out cool with my paying pretty much Austin prices for a heckuva great time.

The hobby - hang around long enough and you'll see/experience some weird shit.

Damn some of these are brutal! Hilarious, but brutal.

Ok I'll chime in:

Preoccupied Jaylyn: http://eccie.net/showthread.php?t=387524
For those who don't want to read the review here's a quick synopsis — room is messy, the worst I've seen. She needs the money NOW to pay for the room (yea right), actually passes it through the door to someone (I nearly bailed right there). Room smell like wacky tobacy, she then proceeds to shave her legs while I wait and in between about six phone calls, finally while I am DATY, look up and low-and-behold the bitch is TEXTING … yes! TEXTING!!! Thus the phrase was coined by someone, TATY (Texting at the Y)

Vegas Skank:
I arrive in Vegas (passing through) and decide to walk down to the covered walking mall area and eat. After driving all day the walk was something I looked forward to. It turned out to be further than I anticipated, but that's another story.

As I'm returning from my "stroll" I'm on the opposite side of the street as my "cheap motel, with adult movies" when I notice a street walker eyeballing me. I decided that I would walk past the motel so she would not see me go to my room … wrong! After I got in my room, about two minutes later, there's a knock on my door. I peek through the peek hole and sure enough it's her. But she's not that bad looking, so, like a dumb ass, I open the door.

"Are you looking for a date?" She asked.
I was, but not necessarily with her, but dammit, Jr. said "Got for it!"

So I asked the fee and it was more than reasonable so I let Jr. have his way … mistake! I asked her to shower with me because I figured she'd been walking the streets for some time and probably needed some freshening up and boy was I right. I nearly slapped the shit out of Jr. right then and there. I could smell that pussy without her spreading anything. I let her do a CBJ and that was it, and I was tempted to double wrap for that.

I'm sure there are more but those ring out as the worst.