Things I've learned from porn

Horn^I^Dog's Avatar
In the absence of my ATF, I have to admit I've watched some porn. (Note to Muffy: no snide comments about left hand). I was amazed at how little it's changed since the "Golden Age of Porn".

Things I've noticed that have held true for decades:

1) Every women express her pleasure by continually saying, "Oh... Yeah... Oh... Heah!!!"

2) Doing doggie is possible by entering by a 90 degree angle from the side (better for the cameras).

3) DFK is best done with a wide open mouth, tongue exposed. (Once again a 90 degree angle is preferred).

4) Oral, either daty or bbbj, is best performed from the side (once again a 90 degree angle. Is this a pattern?)

5) No matter how fat and ugly the guy is (think Ron Jeremy) he's still gorgeous to ladies when a camera is rolling. Note to self: bring a tripod for next session.

6) Men do not have any body hair. The exception is possibly a tuft of pube or mustache (see 6). But no hair on the chest or armpits.

7) A cheesy mustache gets the best looking girls.

8) Men much prefer to "finish" externally via their own hand rather than "within" the gal.

9) One a man has withdrawn (from whatever orafice) to finish, it is instinctive for a woman to drop to her knees, face the man, push up her tits and beg for a facial.

10) A man cannot orgasm without saying, "Ahhhhhhhh!!!" All male orgasms last at least thirty seconds to a minute and finish with three long breaths.


HID
what I have learned from porn

I think of the Friends episode where they got free porn by mistake and they were afaraid to change the channel. It started messing with their lives. If they went to the bank they expected the receptionist to shed her clothes and want to get busy with them. It will change you view on life.

Also, I thought girls all did greek based on the porn I have seen but I found out later that that is the best way to get slapped in the face if you don't ask first....
  • jwood
  • 03-18-2010, 07:15 AM
Number 8 is not always the case. There seems to be alot of cream pies.