How has this helped you?

I had a gentlemen tell me that providers and this "hobby" has helped him and saved his marriage...So is this true for some of you? If so how?

Wonder if the wife knows he hobbies...

I had a gentlemen tell me that providers and this "hobby" has helped him and saved his marriage...So is this true for some of you? If so how? Originally Posted by Irish Vixen

True for me, definitely. I was seriously contemplating divorce before I started doing this. Now I get to have dates with beautiful woman, then still go home and tuck the kids in bed at night. I probably wouldn't be doing either if I had got divorced.

I have written an entire chapter in my book about this...interesting that you posted it...I try and break it down for the wives and basically ask, Would you prefer to get a divorce, split the children, loose your home etc....Or would you like to carry on how you live now, never knowing that your husband sees escorts?

People will do what they want, it's just human nature, so if a man seeing me once or twice a month keeps him from leaving his family, then I most definitely believe I've saved marriages....

I agree, Ive been told that it keeps them from having an affair to take care of needs not being met at home without all the baggage that can come with a gf or affair on the side. Just because one thing is missing at home doesnt mean you need to break up a family etc.

A gent told me once that being in the hobby has kept him married also. He just wanted what he wasn't getting at home and he said the ladies cheered him up and made him want to really get it on with his wife when he got home.

It has helped me see just how wacked out some "mature" people truly are. It has also helped me realize just how much confidence people have within, regardless of what goes on around them and that there is good in everyone....somewhere in there.

I don't agree with the notion that we "save marriages" though. If all a marriage needed was a hooker to bring it back together, something is off in that equation. We are here for a release, companionship, and maybe friendship with the select few, but I would never look at what I do as some sort of "therapy."

I also think it's a bit weak to say, "If I don't have sex x amount of times per month, I am going to leave my wife and kids." WTF...that's not on me.

I think the key word is "never knowing". In my opinion the foundation of a marriage is trust. Honesty is how you build trust. If I was married and seeing a provider because for whatever reason, saying "it's saving my marriage" then I would only be justifying it to myself.

Now please don't misunderstand me ladies. I don't feel that you are doing wrong. I do however have certain things that I consider right and wrong. That doesn't mean it is right or wrong. Just my opinion. The way I see it is this. Ask the wife if she knows he hobbies and if she says "yes and I am ok with it" then yes it may very well bd saving the marriage. If she says "yes and I'm not ok" then it isn't. It takes the two that are married to save the marriage not one. If you are doing something you "feel" is keeping the marriage together without your SO's input then you are just doing what "you" want. Not what is best for the marriage.

This is only my opinion......

EDIT TO ADD:
I also feel that most wives who say that they are fine with it, generally are so they can do what they want. Kind of like an ace in the hole. Guys do the same crap "hey I buy you everything you want, but you have a problem with me seeing who I want". People pull this crap everyday. That's not a marriage. It's not what it's about. When you enter into a marriage it is suppose to be about the person you married not you and vice versa.

If I were married and I find out that my husband sees providers I'd kick his ass.

If I were married and I find out that my husband sees providers I'd kick his ass. Originally Posted by Naomi4u

having you i seriously doubt he would stray

If I were married and I find out that my husband sees providers I'd kick his ass. Originally Posted by Naomi4u

Darn skippy! It's one thing if we all of a sudden gain 100 pounds, stop shaving our legs, stop cooking and cleaning, and cut off the sex, but Ummm if he is getting action on demand, meals cooked, house cleaned, and no drama, he better save that bs excuse for someone dumb enough to buy it.

I think the key word is "never knowing". In my opinion the foundation of a marriage is trust. Honesty is how you build trust. If I was married and seeing a provider because for whatever reason, saying "it's saving my marriage" then I would only be justifying it to myself.

Now please don't misunderstand me ladies. I don't feel that you are doing wrong. I do however have certain things that I consider right and wrong. That doesn't mean it is right or wrong. Just my opinion. The way I see it is this. Ask the wife if she knows he hobbies and if she says "yes and I am ok with it" then yes it may very well bd saving the marriage. If she says "yes and I'm not ok" then it isn't. It takes the two that are married to save the marriage not one. If you are doing something you "feel" is keeping the marriage together without your SO's input then you are just doing what "you" want. Not what is best for the marriage.

This is only my opinion...... Originally Posted by Eccie Addict

I have to agree with the bunny... without honesty and trust, I would think it's not much of a marriage. I am not saying everyone should leave their wives, I am just saying most women would not be okay with their husbands seeing anyone on the side. Since I am in the middle of a divorce, I atleast know what doesnt work..lol

I am not saying anyone should feel bad here, I have no room to judge at all... I have made far more mistakes than most but I do think it might be pushing it to say it's "saving marriages" Its more like prolonging them til someone gets caught.

just my two cents worth and its probably not worth that.

I have to agree with the bunny... without honesty and trust, I would think it's not much of a marriage. I am not saying everyone should leave their wives, I am just saying most women would not be okay with their husbands seeing anyone on the side. Since I am in the middle of a divorce, I atleast know what doesnt work..lol

I am not saying anyone should feel bad here, I have no room to judge at all... I have made far more mistakes than most but I do think it might be pushing it to say it's "saving marriages" Its more like prolonging them til someone gets caught.

just my two cents worth and its probably not worth that. Originally Posted by lil_michelle

You don't give yourself enough credit love. What you said was very insightful, and honest.

Darn skippy! It's one thing if we all of a sudden gain 100 pounds, stop shaving our legs, stop cooking and cleaning, and cut off the sex, but Ummm if he is getting action on demand, meals cooked, house cleaned, and no drama, he better save that bs excuse for someone dumb enough to buy it. Originally Posted by London Rayne

Hell yeah!

Damn I hit edit and y'all post 4 or 5 more post before I finished.... Freaking speed posters I'll tell ya.... LMAO. Can't get a post in otherwise.