I feel bad, what would you have done?

bigred's Avatar
This is just for entertainment. Not trying to out or embarrass anyone and I am not angry with anyone.
This event took place days, weeks or months ago.
I made an appointment with a provider a day and a half, 36 hours, before the scheduled appointment. Texted at 7:47 am the morning of the appointment confirming we were meeting at 11 am for 3 hours. I also asked for the general area of her incall just to plan my trip. Is it a 10 minute drive or a 30 minute drive to her incall? Her short notice post that morning mentioned her area of town but my ADHD caused me to not see it. My bad.
She responded at 8:09 am, "I'll let u know in a few minutes".
I guess at some point I see the area of town she is working in on this day. So I text her again at 10:14 am, two hours... two hours without hearing from this provider, and say "I am ten minutes from your area and I am ready to leave the house in 20 minutes".
At 10:24 am i get a text saying we need to push the appointment back by 30 minutes because she needed to switch rooms. I text back "kk".
No problem sweetheart, I understand. Your having trouble with your room, no problem.
So an hour goes by and I get a text at 11:24 am saying more problems with the room, can't get checked in. She asked if i would mind if she checked into a Motel 6.
At 11:30 am I text back and say Motel 6 is no problem with me.
At 11:51 am I text and ask "so what's the plan from here?"
At 12:06 pm I text "any updates?"
I see now, as i review this, I was becoming impatient. She had to check out and drive to another hotel. But my limited hobby window for the day was rapidly closing right before my eyes.
At 12:13 pm she texted "yes". That's it. Yes. Just a little frustrating.
So I text back immediately "r we going to meet today?"
At 12:19 I get a text from her saying that everything is ok as long as I am ok with the location. What? I am confused because I told her 45 minutes ago that Motel 6 was fine with me.
At 12:21pm I text back. "ok. I have been ready since 10:30am. when and where? are you ready?
At 12:30 pm I text "did u check into motel 6 yet?"
So two hours have gone by since I have been ready to leave the house. I had eaten a late breakfast but it was so long ago I had to stuff something else in my mouth. And the stress of waiting and wondering for two hours already has caused me to need another quick rinse in the shower.
At 12:41 pm I use my other phone to Text another provider.
At 12:43 pm I texted in frustration to the original provider "After all of this, ur going to stand me up this morning?"
I sent my first text to the other provider at 12:41pm and by 12:55pm we had an appointment set for a 3 hours. I was at her incall and got her room number at 1:17pm. 14 minutes to send 10 texts between us and make the appointment and a total of 36 minutes before she texted me her room number.
At some point I looked back to see what's up with the original provider. Now I get a flurry of texts and finally get some information.
I had given up at 12:43pm and started working on another appointment.
So the original provider texted back at 12:44pm. A quick response, but I didn't see it because I was already working with the other provider, on a different phone.
12:44 pm I get a text saying the original provider has checked into a hotel, what I would consider a fairly expensive hotel. What happened to Motel 6 from 11:30 am?
12:46 pm I get a link to the hotel address.
Also at 12:46 pm i get " I am not standing you up. I am not know for that. I am in the room".
At 12:49 pm I get "let me know if your coming and ur eta".
At 12:50 pm I get "i am jumping in the shower".
At 12:54 pm I get "let me know when ur going to be here so I know how much time I have to get ready".
At 12:55 I text her "So sorry. I thought u were standing me up. got another appointment. It happened very quickly. still want to see you. So, so sorry".
I hate that this happened because I don't want to cause these lovely providers any trouble.
I never heard from the original provider again. I hope she is not upset with me. I will try to see her again. I think. Is it stupid that i still want to see her? She has a good reputation as a reliable and fun provider.
So what would you have done? I am very accommodating. I always try to give these wonderful providers the benefit of the doubt.
But...
I made the appointment 36 hours ahead. I waited two hours after a text that said "i'll get back to you in a few minutes." I didn't care about the use of a downscale hotel. I was fine with the appointment being pushed back. I know these ladies have hard days sometimes, I understand that. But...
If, at an hour and twenty minutes after she said she was checking into Motel 6, or sometime after that, she had said "Motel 6 is on fire!, I am checking in at another hotel" or "standing in line to check in, almost done" i would have continued to wait.
I feel bad, what would you have done?
Well, that's the story. Just for fun. I am not upset with anyone. And I understand that shit happens.
Oh, and by the way. I had a great 3 hour appointment that day with another provider. Have you ever made love so long your stomach muscles are sore the next day?
Bigred
Xesaddict's Avatar
I am sure everyone in the hobby has experienced a similar scenario at some time. For myself,my response would depend upon how well I know the provider in question, although I doubt I would be as patient as you for even my ATF. Far too many providers are unable to manage their affairs, and their excuses for delaying, or missing, a prescheduled appointment are too numerous to enumerate. The fact is most providers do not care if we are inconvenienced even if it costs them an appointment. They simply move on to the next guy in line. I am sure providers face similar situations and problems with clients who do not value their time, but that is no excuse for the situation you encountered. A provider’s TCB skills are almost as important as their BCD skills. I quit even trying to see one provider who was notorious for not keeping her appointments on time even though her BCD skills were (are) fantastic. I seldom play these days and will not waste my time with any provider who cannot TCB.
Xanadude's Avatar
I wouldn’t beat yourself up about it if it played out the way you said it did. Sounds like this was all on her and poor communication as well as overcommitting on a realistic time. I tend to be a morning hobbyist and it’s happened a couple of times where the same thing has happened to me. Book a day in advance, confirm via text in the morning and then at the time of appointment get the “I couldn’t check in early”. Nothing is more frustrating...if a provider is relying on getting a room, she shouldn’t set appointments until after 3. Everyone knows by now standard hotel check in is 3pm. Instead of getting mad though I do what you did... “thank you, next!” And she goes to the bottom of the list. It’s that simple. So again, don’t feel bad!
swwaustin's Avatar
Yeah, that’s a bummer for sure. No doubt some poor TCB. It happens. Nobody, (providers and hobbyists alike) want their time wasted.

At least you were at home, lol. I had a similar issue just this morning, except that the problems started after I texted, “I’m here”. Everything worked out in the end, but still I had an hour and a half of my Saturday morning wasted waiting around.

You should handle your business as you see fit, and I’m not saying you were in the wrong, but since you opened it up to the peanut gallery, and you said it made you feel bad, maybe you wouldn’t feel as bad if when you had given up on her at 12:43 you had texted her and told her you were looking for other options.

That’s normally what I do, I just let them know I’m looking elsewhere, (but I do that before I start messaging other ladies).

Imho, after that, especially in this case were she postponed your set appointment time to an abstract time, everything is fair game.

A bit of curiosity on my part and certainly not my business but why the two phones?
If you trying to have an appointment between 11-3, there are going to be problems sometimes unless you know the girl is staying there for days.
I can only say that yes, I’ve had that sort of day and now....because of many of the reasons cited above, if she pushes back more than about 15 minutes, I just thank her for time and move on.

She either tells me to come up, or goes silent. Either way, I’m on to the next adventure. Don’t get fooled around in this hobby. 99% of the time, you are simply the next set of Benjamin’s......or not. Nothing more or less.
bigred's Avatar
swaustin: Yes indeed I could have and should have let her know I was moving on. However, seems like she was already checked into the new hotel by the time I contacted someone else.



I have a separate hobby phone because I am married and don't want the chance of my family seeing an errant text from a provider or my contact list of providers. read the awkward situation post in coed discussions for more info. lol.


i agree b three, however, the provider knew she had this appointment lined up for a day and a half before the event. seems she had enough time to get her room situation straighten out before hand. and she was on short notice for that very morning.
swwaustin's Avatar
swaustin: Yes indeed I could have and should have let her know I was moving on. However, seems like she was already checked into the new hotel by the time I contacted someone else.... Originally Posted by bigred
Very well likely the case, or there may not have even been a hotel change. There just may have been a better appointment option available, or she was trying to maximize her time. Maybe she had double booked your time and was trying to work that, goes along with being asked more than once if a lesser hotel location was ok (you’re likely not her only conversation, and I’m sure it becomes hard to track convos).

In any case, I wasn’t saying you were right or wrong, you just said you felt bad. I told you what I do to not feel bad in those situations.

....I have a separate hobby phone because I am married and don't want the chance of my family seeing an errant text from a provider or my contact list of providers. read the awkward situation post in coed discussions for more info. lol.... Originally Posted by bigred
Yeah, I understand the concept of a separate hobby phone. What I was confused about was, why you use 2 separate phones for hobby business. As I read it, it seems like they are both hobby phones. No matter though, really just me being nosy.

..Don’t get fooled around in this hobby. 99% of the time, you are simply the next set of Benjamin’s......or not. Nothing more or less. Originally Posted by tx2for3
Good advice for all of us. Naiveté has no good place for any of us in this world. That’s why good straightforward TCB from some of my fave ladies is very much appreciated.

I am honestly shocked that I still get appointments. I’m surprised I haven’t been marked for being bad luck. Over the years it seems that around my specific appointment time any number of problems have occurred for the lovely ladies I try to see. Problems with rooms, roommates, pets, cars, landlords, housekeeping, maintenance, mothers, fathers, sisters, cousins, computer crashes, phone batteries, traffic. Thank you ladies for continuing to see me, and ignoring the apparent black cloud that seems to follow me and impact you during appointment time.
bigred's Avatar
I am honestly shocked that I still get appointments. I’m surprised I haven’t been marked for being bad luck. Over the years it seems that around my specific appointment time any number of problems have occurred for the lovely ladies I try to see. Problems with rooms, roommates, pets, cars, landlords, housekeeping, maintenance, mothers, fathers, sisters, cousins, computer crashes, phone batteries, traffic. Thank you ladies for continuing to see me, and ignoring the apparent black cloud seems to follow me and impact you during appointment time.
lol. so true swaustin.



I used my rw phone in desperation because I hadn't been able to get through to this particular provider with PMs from eccie or oh2, nor my hobby phone. I thought she didn't want to see me for some inexplicable reason. I hadn't been able to get through to this woman in like 11 weeks, even though i had tried numerous times. It was truly a desperate move and I was shocked when she responded. Once I saw her, she had no idea why I couldn't get through to her using the other methods.


the only other time i used my rw phone was in a situation where i got to a provider's incall and my hobby phone did not work for some reason. So I have used my rw phone in only the most desperate situations and only twice.
bigred's Avatar
how do you do the originally posted by quote? haven't been able to figure that out yet.
Dr Grey's Avatar
Usually, if a provider asks if we can push the appointment back a little, I don't mind anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour at the absolute most. I usually go find a spot and have a drink or two if having to wait a bit. If after the hour I don't hear back or am asked to wait again, I start looking for plan B. Things happen in the hobby, as they do in life. I expect a little chaos every now and then, makes the journey more exciting. I never stress about it, and honestly, usually never write about it either. I write the review of the session I did have, not the one that got messed up. Win win for the provider who stepped up to help ya out, and helps you as a hobbyist.

I am sure everyone in the hobby has experienced a similar scenario at some time. For myself,my response would depend upon how well I know the provider in question, although I doubt I would be as patient as you for even my ATF. Far too many providers are unable to manage their affairs, and their excuses for delaying, or missing, a prescheduled appointment are too numerous to enumerate. The fact is most providers do not care if we are inconvenienced even if it costs them an appointment. They simply move on to the next guy in line. I am sure providers face similar situations and problems with clients who do not value their time, but that is no excuse for the situation you encountered. A provider’s TCB skills are almost as important as their BCD skills. I quit even trying to see one provider who was notorious for not keeping her appointments on time even though her BCD skills were (are) fantastic. I seldom play these days and will not waste my time with any provider who cannot TCB. Originally Posted by Xesaddict
Well Said.
Your right I had plenty of time iam SORRY but when you say shit happen well that morning shit was happening it wasn't my morning ..
Doglegg's Avatar
11 weeks?!?

Yeah kinda been there. You get obsessed with seeing that one person so you just gotta keep trying regardless of what the Universe is trying to tell you.

You should have listened and moved on way beforehand.

We act as though this one person we have never met has that unobtainium pussy that spreads sunshine throughout Valhalla whenever it deems a recipient worthy of its honor.

Then the provider realizes its value and incipient potential and strings you along.

It happens. All too often.

Did she fuck up? Yep. Did she get pissed at you for a situation SHE caused? Yep.
Did she make out like it's your fault? (For wanting her unobtainium lined vagina of the gods and not realizing it's not for mere mortals the likes of you?)

Oh yeah totally your fault. Shit even I as the scribe of this shit piece can understand her point of view.

Had she gotten the hotel room and then needed another two hours to 'make sure the linen was clean, there were enough towels, that the right brand of mints or chocolates were on the pillows, that the nasty blood stain and chalk outline were steam cleaned before her enamoured life changing event were to happen to you...Would you have stuck around? Probably, but if not and you beggingly requested her forgiveness and promised to pay 4, NO!, TEN TIMES her going rate the next time you didn't meet...Don't you think she would have moved on to the next guy in line?

Without a second thought of you in all of your unworthiness?

In other words, FUCK Her and the golden chariot that brought her to our mortal plane. It was the only way you were EVER going to fuck her.

Pat yourself on the back and move on.

Remember there's another hook on another corner.

Oh wait....isn't that another Unobtainium over there?!?
Your right I had plenty of time iam SORRY but when you say shit happen well that morning shit was happening it wasn't my morning .. Originally Posted by san_antonio_raine
SA Raine, kudos to you for posting your apology. All of us, on both sides, have had our plans trashed at one time or another. I have learned the hard way that scheduling around check out time leads to delayed appointments at best or cancellations at worst. You are a class act.