How to first message a provider

I'm fairly new, so I'm not to certain if this is the place for something like this, but I was wondering if anyone could help me. I am new to the hobby, so I'm not exactly sure how to first message a provider. I haven't failed yet, but the first thought I was a cop, since I asked for her hourly rate. This is what I'm trying to avoid. I want to know what I should and shouldn't say at first, to not only protect me from a possibility of liability or entrapment, but also to not give off a cop vib and put her off, and to make her possibly more open and willing. Thanks, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

The first thing to do is your homework. Read her web site, read her ECCIE profile (if there is one), read a few reviews, read her ad posts, check out her P411 and TER profiles (if they exist). That will usually answer many or most of your questions. Then email her and introduce yourself or fill out her verification form. Give her all the data she requests. If she is not asking for any verification information be very wary. That means she is not careful and is putting both of you at risk.

Thinks to NOT do. Never ask any question that associates services with payment. Don't ask about specific services unless you have her express permission. That is what websites and reviews are for. If you must ask about fees, perhaps for a longer session, make is clear you are asking about a contribution for her time not for a specific service. Do NOT try to negotiate a lower fee. This insults and demeans her and is almost guaranteed to put you on her DNS list. (DNS = Do Not See)

Finally, follow and honor her rules. If you don't like them, move on.

On more than one occasion when I spotted a lady that I was interested in, I would PM her. Give a short introduction, let her know you are interested, and see if she might be interested also. That way, she can let you know if she will be in town when you're available and she also has the opportunity to check you our before responding. In making that last statement, I am assuming she has the desire and ability to look me up on eccie, see who I've met with, and check my various responses to get a feel for what kind of guy I am. That also gives her the opportunity to ask for any further information she might need.
Some things I would never do! Contact expecting a visit now! Excluding BP ladies, I have hardly heard of any ladies willing to drop everything and take a chance without some form of interaction. Those who do, would make me nervous. Secondly, if the ladies can't even respond to the PM, I'll assume she isn't interested and move on! Never beg, pester, or hound a lady. There is nothing good that will come out of that! Simply move on. Lastly, as mentioned, read all you can about them. Check out her profile (read it all!!!), her reviews, and her interactions. Some ladies really do interact more than just putting out a add for services. Play safe and enjoy.

Just the fact that you are thinking this through is in your favor. Remember even reviews are subject to that particular experience. Part of this game is to create your own experience so do not ask what she will or will not do. Instead AFTER you are communicating you can simply communicate what you enjoy on a date. DO THIS ON A CALL and not in an email or text. Creating a comfortable casual connection works in your favor. I always ask if I can bring her coffee or anything because sometimes they need to stay put and this helpps create that connection of friendship...mdt

The above 3 guys have all given you really solid advice that should be the standard for everyone whether newbies or not. I will just add in a not so eloquent way - don't be an ass! In my mind, most of the gals in this business are doing us a favor, so I just try to be as nice as I can to them.

RGX

Not much to add to the experts above. However, if you're trolling BP, copy and paste the phone number to Google. Generally you can get a feel for where she has been advertising. If there are no listings, most likely the phone is a burner. Run fast. If the same phone lists several names and pics, quite likely its the pimp doing the talking, and the girl you contact will look totally different from the one in the ad.

Best to stay with the quality sites.

The other contributions were great too but THISSSSSS!

The first thing to do is your homework. Read her web site, read her ECCIE profile (if there is one), read a few reviews, read her ad posts, check out her P411 and TER profiles (if they exist). That will usually answer many or most of your questions. Then email her and introduce yourself or fill out her verification form. Give her all the data she requests. If she is not asking for any verification information be very wary. That means she is not careful and is putting both of you at risk.

Thinks to NOT do. Never ask any question that associates services with payment. Don't ask about specific services unless you have her express permission. That is what websites and reviews are for. If you must ask about fees, perhaps for a longer session, make is clear you are asking about a contribution for her time not for a specific service. Do NOT try to negotiate a lower fee. This insults and demeans her and is almost guaranteed to put you on her DNS list. (DNS = Do Not See)

Finally, follow and honor her rules. If you don't like them, move on. Originally Posted by Kvothe

Thanks OP and everyone that replied with information. Being new to the hobby as well, this post provided a great amount of info!!!