Compliments vs Symbolism

A few of the threads on this forum have been bounding around my mind. I'm nearing the end of a week long visit to Washington, and during my stay, my gentlemen companions have been tossing me a lot of compliments. At the same time I was getting a small bunch of PMs along the same fashion from people I've never met.

Do you ever find yourself doubting them?

It's not to say I believe they're outright lying to me - more like being flattering in a symbolic sort of fashion. Much the same way poets do when speaking of their objects of lust and love.

However, I do wish I knew which were sincerely heart felt, and which were merely acts of kindness. In part I try to be objective about myself, and it would be nice to really understand what impression I leave on my friends (certainly it can't be bad or they wouldn't stick around). I guess I have a desire to know which comments I should absorb as truth, and which are window dressing.

I guess at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter - it still feels quite pleasant.

Lauren, As many compliments come, they seem to lose their impact and value. Yes, they feel good, but not nearly as good as if they were fewer. We all enjoy compliments, but like anything else, if we have to work for something, the reward is more meaningful.

The source of the compliment also adds to the way it's accepted. If I were to tell you you looked very pretty, you'd appreciated that. But, if I were to tell you that your philosophy and outlook on life, your acceptance of others and the abstract auras embracing you are genuinely reflected in your physical appearance----well, that might be over the top, and seem unbelievable.

Many compliments are just that. Honest observations. Occassionally, it's from the heart. Genuinely felt. At times, it's hard to tell.

I have to watch myself, so as not to discount compliments directed to me.

I could say so much more about this, but others will be able to express their views, and you will have a variety of input. Quite frankly, I think you already have the insight to discern compliments motivated by honest, genuine affection and thsoe which are not.

A minefield if there ever was one.
There are so many variables. There are many different styles of communication that will impact the form of the comment.
To me, at the core sincere compliments have to be based on knowledge. For example, without meeting you, all anyone could know about you is from your presence on the web. Compliments for characteristics not discernable from your posts, your web site, blogs, etc. would be suspect.
Beyond that intuition will be the best guide.

only promises i know to be true are the promises made from the heart....i suspect you could throw Compliments into that lyric by Mellencamp.

To me, at the core sincere compliments have to be based on knowledge. For example, without meeting you, all anyone could know about you is from your presence on the web. Compliments for characteristics not discernable from your posts, your web site, blogs, etc. would be suspect.
Beyond that intuition will be the best guide. Originally Posted by terbul

Very true, I feel that a compliment holds a little more weight if it comes from someone who knows me pretty well.If it is someone I have just met I feel it is not me he is complimenting, but more the person that he imagines me to be.

On the other hand sometimes compliments really can be acts of kindness.That is why I always try to remember to say positive, and most important sincere things to the people that I like when the thoughts enter my mind.

The toughest part is believing.It seems like compliments for me , and most people I would imagine manage to go in one ear , and out the other.Insults on the other hand stay planted in my brain for all eternity.

It seems like compliments for me , and most people I would imagine manage to go in one ear , and out the other.Insults on the other hand stay planted in my brain for all eternity. Originally Posted by Becky

Amazing how that works...

Granted the source of an insult matters to me as well. If it comes from a stranger it is more likely to stick then an insult from someone I know and don't respect.

Lauren, how silly of you to doubt. You're on of the most amazing women I've ever met. And we must meet sometime

However, I do wish I knew which were sincerely heart felt, and which were merely acts of kindness. Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

The practical solution is to say something in theme with the question and see what the follow-up sentences are. Here's an example:

I was talking to a friend about how I'd increased my gym attendance from one hour a day to 90 minutes a day to try to mimic that PX90 program.

He said "You're very firm! It's working great!"

I've heard this before and always felt flattered.

This time, I asked "Where do you see changes?"

He said "Your breasts!"

LOL! My breasts are the one place gym workouts will not make a difference. He might as well have said my ears. He was just being nice; he hadn't seen better calves or shoulders, etc.

So the next time someone pays you a compliment, say something about the compliment that invites a second comment (not just "Thank you.") The second comment will help you interpret the first.

nipples intoxicating and your thighs inviting and i ASSure you those compliments are both heartfelt and sincere. though i live a mere 100 miles from you your hdh status probably puts you out of my entertainment budget but i appreciate your wit humor and charm in your postings and your pictures are quite the turnon if ever your not sure of compliments i offer a free service where i will evaluate the complimented area ie eyes, smile, breast , tush legs give a full and comprehensive study and evaluation and compare my independent judgement compared to the complimenter. in the case where my opinion varies slightly from complimenter id even agree to give a second free examine

A few of the threads on this forum have been bounding around my mind. I'm nearing the end of a week long visit to Washington, and during my stay, my gentlemen companions have been tossing me a lot of compliments. At the same time I was getting a small bunch of PMs along the same fashion from people I've never met.

Do you ever find yourself doubting them?

It's not to say I believe they're outright lying to me - more like being flattering in a symbolic sort of fashion. Much the same way poets do when speaking of their objects of lust and love.

However, I do wish I knew which were sincerely heart felt, and which were merely acts of kindness. In part I try to be objective about myself, and it would be nice to really understand what impression I leave on my friends (certainly it can't be bad or they wouldn't stick around). I guess I have a desire to know which comments I should absorb as truth, and which are window dressing.

I guess at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter - it still feels quite pleasant. Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

are so appealing and your friend has not had the occasion to comment or compliment them for whatever reason. while your shoulders and calves loook terrific your breasts are delightful so perhaps i smile and a thank you is all that need be said

The practical solution is to say something in theme with the question and see what the follow-up sentences are. Here's an example:

I was talking to a friend about how I'd increased my gym attendance from one hour a day to 90 minutes a day to try to mimic that PX90 program.

He said "You're very firm! It's working great!"

I've heard this before and always felt flattered.

This time, I asked "Where do you see changes?"

He said "Your breasts!"

LOL! My breasts are the one place gym workouts will not make a difference. He might as well have said my ears. He was just being nice; he hadn't seen better calves or shoulders, etc.

So the next time someone pays you a compliment, say something about the compliment that invites a second comment (not just "Thank you.") The second comment will help you interpret the first. Originally Posted by HoneyRose

This time, I asked "Where do you see changes?"

He said "Your breasts!"

LOL! My breasts are the one place gym workouts will not make a difference. He might as well have said my ears. He was just being nice; he hadn't seen better calves or shoulders, etc. Originally Posted by HoneyRose

Actually when I hit the gym hard, I do notice a change in my breasts... they get a touch smaller

So the next time someone pays you a compliment, say something about the compliment that invites a second comment (not just "Thank you.") The second comment will help you interpret the first.

Wise. I guess the challenge is to be practical and not seem to be fishing for more compliments lol

like you need not fish for compliments. we guys look at these boards to se beautiful women and you are certainly one of them. while i love you wit and charm i gotta admit its the physical beauty that drives me crazy and makes me dream about doing naughty things to you. i gotta imagine the way you take care of yourself means youll be like that for years to come. while all your charms make you a person anyone would love to hang with and be friends with its your physical attributes that makes so many of us die to screw you and willing to spend many $ to do that, hence i gotta think the compliments are just that and sincere even if in a lustful way. ps i think your breast are just perfect the way the are the only thing that you could do to them to make em look better to me is put my 2 lips on them. thanks again for being who you are

Actually when I hit the gym hard, I do notice a change in my breasts... they get a touch smaller




Wise. I guess the challenge is to be practical and not seem to be fishing for more compliments lol Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

Looks like Lauren has stolen Ainsley's suitor.

Looks like Lauren has stolen Ainsley's suitor. Originally Posted by pjorourke

How long have I been on this board with you? And you still can't spell my name?

One time I was having a horrible day and my friend took me to a coffee shop. I felt so ugly and depressed and was just kind of staring down. I didn't even feel like talking. And then this little girl with Down's syndrome walked in with her mom, and literally grabbed my face in her hands and said "You're so beautiful!" It was the nicest compliment I ever received, and it was from a stranger.