There was a terrible disaster at a convent and all of the nuns were killed, so there was a crowd at the pearly gates for St. Peter to check in.
The first nun steps up, and St. Peter says, "Before I let you in I need to know, have you ever touched a penis?" Tears well up in the nun's eyes and she replies, "Well, yes, once, with my hand." St. Peter frowns, rubs his chin and says, "OK, tell you what, you go wash your hands in that basin of holy water over there and I'll let you in."
The next nun steps up and St. Peter says, "Before I let you in I need to know, have you ever touched a penis?" The nun looks down at her shoes and says, "Yes, once, with my hand." St. Peter sighs and rolls his eyes and says, "OK, you go wash your hands in that basin of holy water and you can come in."
All of a sudden there's a commotion at the back of the line and a nun starts pushing and shoving her way toward the front. St. Peter says, "Here now, what's all this!?" The nun replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle that holy water I want to do it before Sister Mary Francis sits in it!"