Sex Sent Me to the ER

That's the name of a show I've been watching lately. It provides reenactments of various predicaments and injuries we get into while having good-natured fun, such as suffering a penile fracture with the woman riding CG (no shit).

So it got me thinking, we must have some pretty funny stories among us about ER visits due to hobbying. I know I've thought I was going to pass out on a few gals! And left unsure where I parked the car. But no ER visits yet.

So feel free to share y'all! This is just for fun of course.

It provides reenactments of various predicaments and injuries we get into while having good-natured fun, such as suffering a penile fracture with the woman riding CG (no shit).

That's why CG makes me nervous.

I work in an academic medical center in a support role (translation: I'm not a medical professional, but I hang around a lot of them as part of my job), and because of that I get to listen in on a lot of lectures on medical topics.

The subject doesn't come up much, as you might imagine, but from what little exposure I've had to the subject a penile "fracture"* is no laughing matter. It's incredibly painful when it happens, it requires immediate surgical intervention to repair, and if things don't go well you may not be able to do IT (as our brother Titty Mac would put it) again at all, much less do IT good.

I've seen pictures both of what a penile fracture looks like from the outside when it happens, and of what it looks like on the inside as they're cutting a dick open to repair it. If you're feeling especially brave, do a Google image search on "penile fracture". But I'll warn you ahead of time, you'll probably regret it. To give you a taste, this:



is probably the least sick-making result from that search.

Thankfully, it's not an injury that is at all common, but if it ever happens to you, you're in for a time that you'll never wish on your worst enemy.

ETA: Here's a first person account of breaking your dick: Broken Penis. It may make you wince, but not as much as some of those pictures will.

Cheers,

bcg

*In spite of the widespread use of the term "boner" to describe an erection, strictly speaking a penis can't fracture, since there ain't no bone down there. More accurately it should be called a "penile rupture", since the injury is basically a rupture of the tunica albuginea, a fibrous sheath that surrounds the corpora cavernosa and corpus spongiosum penis, which taken all together (and wildly oversimplifying here) are the things which fill up with blood and make the boner resemble the bone from which it takes its name. And it's all that blood spilling out of the rupture and into areas it was never meant to be which makes the vast majority of the results of the Google image search I mentioned above so sick-making.

Ok, so maybe a penile fracture isn't so funny.

I review a lot of medical records at my job, and the only time I've seen a penile fracture happen is during a bull riding accident. Ouch!!! That makes me think it is a very difficult injury to sustain. I guess you should never take Viagra before the rodeo!

I don't even have a penis and this makes me cringe in pain. I always thought the funniest stories from my nurse friends were the ones about ER visits related to odd sundry items that had been stuck up the anus and could not be easily extracted.

I review a lot of medical records at my job, and the only time I've seen a penile fracture happen is during a bull riding accident. Originally Posted by pbjduncan

Was he riding that bull or poking it? Me thinks you're doing something wrong if you break your dick!

Didn't have to go to ER, but I had a bed break while doing doggy once.
Came down with the side rail right in the middle of both shins, raised knots the size of eggs...I was a trouper though, changed beds and went back to banging!

Penile fracture from sex usually happens when one tries to long stroke and the penis comes completely out of the Vagina and gets out of alignment, then gets bent when thrusting forward as it hits something solid as in taint. One can actually hear the pop. Of course this can happen by trauma also. I have seen one case where it happened by self love. Talking about getting excited.

Abbey is correct with foreign objects in the anus. Crazier are the foreign objects in the male bladder and/or penis. There are some crazy fuckers that stick some weird stuff in the urerthra.

I can vouch for what Abbey says too. I used to work on an ER in Memphis. All the wild x-rays you see online of people with various things stuck up inside them. That really happens. I've seen it and even had to help extract something once. It was very unpleasant.

Probably the worst sexual related story I have from there is when a 20 something came into the ER with symptoms of UTI (which is what she was eventually diagnosed with). When the doc finished with the pelvic exam, he noticed his (fortunately gloved) fingers had semen on them.

That's probably an over share, but it's my best story.

Was he riding that bull or poking it? Me thinks you're doing something wrong if you break your dick! Originally Posted by riday

Lol. No, he was just riding it and I guess he got aroused somehow. He also suffered a hernia at the same time. Which is no picnic either from what I hear.

Abbey is correct with foreign objects in the anus. Crazier are the foreign objects in the male bladder and/or penis. There are some crazy fuckers that stick some weird stuff in the urerthra. Originally Posted by Sonoman

Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode: The Fusilli Jerry. It was a million to one shot Doc! But up the urethra? Yikes. I think in the Middle Ages people used metal catheters: image.jpg
I for one would stick with leeches and tapeworms before giving in to that one!

When the doc finished with the pelvic exam, he noticed his (fortunately gloved) fingers had semen on them.

That's probably an over share, but it's my best story. Originally Posted by cp9406

Ugh. I knew there was a reason why I didn't choose a career in medicine, but you guys have convinced me I wouldn't have the stomach for it!

I don't even have a penis ... Originally Posted by Abbey_Jones

And you are surrounded by grateful masses!

And you are surrounded by grateful masses! Originally Posted by JustCause

Friends, Nashvillians, good ole boys, lend me your penises!

Friends, Nashvillians, good ole boys, lend me your penises! Originally Posted by Abbey_Jones

LOL…........

Hey, if it was good enough for Shakespeare, it's good enough for Abbey Jones...

Geez,ya'll are making me consider getting a splint for next visit, just in case.

To infinity and beyond! Buzz Lightyear is exploring some strange new places.