Providers: Who are the SUBs, Who are the DOMs
Providers, do you "prefer" to be more a SUBmissive or a DOMinate provider? Can you be both? What comes more natural to you?
Hobbyists, what do you prefer? Who is your GoTo Sub or Dom?
sub·mis·sive:
ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive.
dom·i·nate
have a commanding influence on; exercise control over.
Having met more SUBs than DOMs so far, and enjoying both, I do admit that a "nice" DOM generally has me slightly more excited
...and SweetMiMi would be my weakness in the DOM department....
So folks: SUB or DOM ???
I don't consider myself either Sub nor Domme.
I'm not really the 'obedient' type, however I am not the kind to take complete control either. I just kinda go with the flow of how things happen.
But I do like it when a guy takes charge of the situation, so if I had to choose, I'm more sub. LOL
I like this question!!! For me, when I date a woman in the real world great sex is a give and take. Sometimes dominate, and sometimes submissive. A playful exploration that only grows in time. Being there is only an hour in a session, with the hopes of continued sessions. I like a provider to be dominate to start, and be open to then be submissive. Make me feel comfortable…Then let’s play giving a real GFE!!!
I just kinda go with the flow of how things happen.
Originally Posted by TemptationTammie
+1
I like both. I'm a fairly assertive person with certain boundaries and I tend to take the initiative in any situation where no one else does. On the other hand, I'll usually go along with someone who does take the initiative, within my boundaries, provided they're friendly about it. But the whole S&M thing just isn't that erotic to me. I'm too egalitarian at heart to be interested in being obedient or domineering.
Sub for sure but to each his/her own
Domme all the way. wouldn't consider subbing professionally.
Mildly dom to moderate dom, in most situations. I can be somewhat of a severe dom, if the situation seems right for it.
And on the rare occasion, I'll submit to quite a bit, actually. But, as I said, this is rare.
Looks like no one's yet got the courage to admit they're submissive.....especially not any guy :P
Look over in Another Realm, lots of happily submissive guys over there.
I suspect you won't find many providers willing to play the submissive role in the hobby, whatever their real world proclivities may run to. Too much risk with someone you don't know well. Though Monk seems to be able to build that trust.
I've been told that I'm a control freak in bed, but that was by someone whom I know well. When I'm comfortable with someone, I tend to be dominant. When I'm with someone new, I tend to go with the flow, interested in understanding what she likes and not willing to push boundaries too much.
Not 100% sure where I fit in either category. I would describe myself as a "pleaser" and somewhat get off on how much my partner gets off (within reason). Certainly there are times, with certain providers, that I am either Dom or Sub, both lite, but mostly go with flow. Often I will have grand illusions about a session being one where I am dominant, take control, and think it's all going to be about me, but then i'll walk in, meet face to face, and ultimately let the lady drive. I'm best at being who I am and not role playing for the sake of my ego.
I'm very submissive, though you wouldn't know it unless it was requested of me. But I'm very much a meet you at the door nekkid with a martini and a hummer sort of girl. What can I say?
I think a lot of hobbyists are looking for various types of BDSM. Providers who want to top/dominate are a dime a dozen. That's understandable as this lifestyle/occupation is risky enough. True pro subs are hard to find and frequently quite expensive in my experience.
Personally, I'm always more interested if I see submission listed in a provider's profile. I take this to mean if we have a chemistry and build some trust we can experiment a bit. Even with pretty mild tastes, I've found very few providers have much interest in going much beyond the standard menu. There are exceptions.
In ten years, I've only been with one provider who was really into role play. She showed up in a full school girl outfit and stayed in character the whole time. By happenstance I showed up in a suit that day. It was really hot but also kind of hilarious. I asked her about a safe word and she actually said "for what?". Incidentally this was when I learned that some girls need to wax their buttholes, but I digress.
She was a visitor and I never saw her again. Sky Rodgers was really cool about a little kink but she moved back to Cali. Hell it's hard to get an appointment for vanilla action these days.
im very dominant.....if they let me
It does take time, and trust, but I've learned over the last year, that I'm neither one or the other, but find my strength in being a switch. Depends on our chemistry, and it can happen in a second. A blink of an eye.
I'm also a Scorpio, so I come by it honestly I think....