I spent several years abusing providers. I probably abused twenty to thirty providers. I feel really awful about what I did. I would intentionally take off the condom during the session and then later claim it fell off in the heat of the moment. I would leave envelopes filled with nothing but paper at the end of the session.
I have delayed ejaculation. Providers would always want to end with a relentless bbbj in an effort to try to make me cum by the end of the session. I always asked providers to put a condom on me towards the end of the bbbj. I’d lie and tell them I had hiv and wanted to be covered before I cummed for their protection. I was actually hiv negative then. The providers thinking I had hiv would prevent them from telling others about what I did. Providers would be afraid that confessing to having sex with someone hiv positive would scare clients away.
I really feel awful about the things I did and would like to pay the price for my evil crimes. But most of the women I did these things to have retired, died, etc. I’d hate to walk into a police station and confess to my evil crimes and then give names of providers I abused who would prefer to be left alone since they have retired and moved on. Could I be locked up so I can pay for my evil doings without having to give the names of the people I abused? I contracted hiv about two years ago. I sometimes feel this was God’s way of Karma. But having to now live with hiv still doesn’t get rid of my guilty conscience. I wake up in the night thinking about what I did! If only there was some way I could go back in time and right the wrongs