This is ONE for the courageous hobbyist~

A question and a HUGE favor:

I went out to eat, last night, at my favorite restaurant. Upon getting comfortable in my regular surroundings, I noticed a few nice gentlemen glancing my way and deliberately making eye contact (one even flashed a beautiful smile that would have made me blush, if I had a fair skin tone). Nevertheless, none of these gentlemen approached me.

When I went to sleep last night, what happened at the restaurant refreshed my memory of a few converstions I've had with hobbyists. I have heard, on multiple occassions, that the hobby gives some men more confidence to see women they are attracted to. I can't speak for all providers when I say this, but personally 70% of the single men I have had the pleasure of meeting within the hobby, I would date in civie life. I have had the opportunity to ask, "If you saw me out and about, would you try to get my attention." Most of the replies I have gotten have been, "No, I'd be to scared to approach you."

So my question is, why not take that plunge in public or is fear of rejection so relevant in this case? The 70% I referred to earlier, I would gladly engage in nice conversation with which would most likely result in an exchange of phone numbers. I understand that the hobby is convenient for those with obligations in their lives, but for those that are without these responsibilities in their lives, why not take the risk of being bold?

Now...

To my courageous hobbyists. Please do me a favor. The next time you are out and see an attractive girl that you would most definitely call, if she were a well-respected provider... approach her, start conversation, and see where it goes. You never know what might happen!

I get this comment a lot...
"I wish I could date someone like you outside of the hobby."
Well, why not!! Me personally, I wish I could find one of those 70% in real life but it seems as though they don't approach me in real life. I am so fed up with the thugs, "gangsters", and drunken frat boys mustering up the confidence to catch my attention. The confindence that you educated, well-rounded, sweethearts exude during sessions, take that and use it when it really counts! Even if it results in just a booty call ;-)

Have a great day gentlemen!

So my question is, why not take that plunge in public or is fear of rejection so relevant in this case? The 70% I referred to earlier, I would gladly engage in nice conversation with which would most likely result in an exchange of phone numbers. I understand that the hobby is convenient for those with obligations in their lives, but for those that are without these responsibilities in their lives, why not take the risk of being bold?
Originally Posted by Eden_Monet

Mace


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57wT4...eature=related

Mace


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57wT4...eature=related Originally Posted by daarakan

lol thank you SO much!!! I needed that laugh!

There's a lot of risk involved in dating a hobbyist. I prefer to keep it discreet. I don't date very often... beside the obvious it's mostly because it's a pain in the ass, and I don't like being told what to do or how to behave. I don't train men, so I expect that they don't try to do that to me.

I'm not saying that it's unheard of or without merit to make this attempt at dating hobbyists... but, would you be ok with reading a review on another girl while you were dating him? Do you think he'd be ok with reading one on you? Obviously, some people can handle this type of relationship, but it's certainly not for everyone.

I fell pretty hard in lust with a good looking lawyer when I first started. He was married. I had a pretty serious boyfriend. It seemed like a win-win on getting some strange. We talked almost constantly... despite the age gap of two decades, we had a lot of things to talk about. We got caught by the wife. Lucky me, I had just broken up with that serious boyfriend, so there was no risk involved in her following me home and telling my SO.

I was really worried for a while that she'd contact my family, since he knew my real name. Luckily, she dropped it.

We still email from time to time, but we haven't been involved in almost two years.

There's a lot of risk involved in dating a hobbyist. I prefer to keep it discreet. I don't date very often... beside the obvious it's mostly because it's a pain in the ass, and I don't like being told what to do or how to behave. I don't train men, so I expect that they don't try to do that to me. Originally Posted by Jacquie

Definitely and I agree with your logic. But I'm referring to casual dating.

I'm not saying that it's unheard of or without merit to make this attempt at dating hobbyists... but, would you be ok with reading a review on another girl while you were dating him? Do you think he'd be ok with reading one on you? Obviously, some people can handle this type of relationship, but it's certainly not for everyone. Originally Posted by Jacquie

I was referring to outside of the hobby. Approaching a REGULAR attractive woman. I feel as though dating a provider whether serious or casually will lead to nothing but hard feelings. Although I have been approach by hobbyist who have recognized me and associated me with the hobby, I'm talking about the hobbyists who have been attracted to a particular woman that they would never approach regularly.

Definitely and I agree with your logic. But I'm referring to casual dating.



I was referring to outside of the hobby. Approaching a REGULAR attractive woman. I feel as though dating a provider whether serious or casually will lead to nothing but hard feelings. Although I have been approach by hobbyist who have recognized me and associated me with the hobby, I'm talking about the hobbyists who have been attracted to a particular woman that they would never approach regularly. Originally Posted by Eden_Monet

are you talking about a particular women in the hobby or ones not in the hobby and from a perspective of a single hobbyist?


so much for famous unknowns!!!!

are you talking about a particular women in the hobby or ones not in the hobby and from a perspective of a single hobbyist?


so much for famous unknowns!!!! Originally Posted by dilbert firestorm

The second choice lol I'm talking about your average attractive "jane" ... whom you wouldn't normally approach in public (whether she might be a provider or not ... who can really tell from first glance)-- for whatever reason.

Eden, I totally agree with you and have had similar experiences with gents I've seen. "You really are so down to earth. I wish I could date a woman like you." Awww. Sweet. But here's the kicker...YOU CAN. I get attention when I go somewhere, but its never "Hello, how are you tonight? My name is XYZ, do you mind if I join you?" No. Its always some jerk or "thuggish" dude trying to "holla". Blegh! Rarely do I meet a guy who's as respectfully talkative as the ones I meet in the hobby.

Men shouldn't assume a woman isn't interested. If you see her, and she's worth the look, she's likely worth a hello. She may just...I dunno...say hello back! LOL.

I eat out alone a lot, and I never have an issue with people approaching me. I always have a book or the Wall Street Journal with me, and I sit at the bar. I find that the book and the WSJ always strike up conversations with people (men and women) at the bar. I find the more intellectual the book, the better conversation and quality of the company is. I’m not necessarily looking for someone date and definitely not looking to be picked up; I’m just looking for conversation while I eat.


As a side, I don’t know if men are shocked to see a woman sitting at the bar alone reading the WSJ. But the WSJ vs. the New York Times or the Houston Chronicle always gets more attention – always.

I stopped trying. It's not the "fear" of rejection. It's knowing it's going to happen. It always does, so why would this time be any different? I've been insulted and laughed at and others have just walked away, either upon meeting them or, if we've talked for a while, after asking if I can give them a call or asking them out.

When I was younger and tried more, the usual answer was "let's just be friends." High school dance dates would only go "as friends." On the rare occasion when I had a date it was usually just one and then I got the "you're too nice" or "let's just be friends" speech.

When I was younger, there was no sex with the few girlfriends I did have, whether we went out for a month or over a year. The few "civilian" women who have been interested in me and I have dated all turned out to be alcoholic psychos on anti-depressants with all kinds of issues. They all made the first move. Go figure. Apparently I'm a magnet for basket cases.

My experience is if I'm attracted or interested in her, there's no way she's interested in me. I just don't bother anymore. I'd rather just spend my money on a "sure thing" in the hobby than waste my time and money on rejection or to acquire yet another female friend who will just bitch and cry about the guys she's dating and how bad they treat her.

How about putting the shoe on the other foot. Do you ladies approach guys you're interested in and make the first move or not? Why not? Why wait for him? Trust me, it would make a lot of guys feel pretty good and at least we know up front you're interested in us instead of the other way around.

My experience is if I'm attracted or interested in her, there's no way she's interested in me. I just don't bother anymore. I'd rather just spend my money on a "sure thing" in the hobby than waste my time and money on rejection or to acquire yet another female friend who will just bitch and cry about the guys she's dating and how bad they treat her. Originally Posted by pornodave69

Well Dave, I have to say...I'm not really the type who's looking for THE one, and I suspect that there are other women who feel the same way. I also find myself more attracted to someone I can have a conversation with, whose personality jives well with mine. The "rip my panties off and f*ck me on the floor" part usually comes in later on.

As stated above in Olivia's post, sometimes we are just open to a little dinner conversation. And you never know where that will lead. Ironically, while I was out running an errand today, a guy struck up a conversation in line at the post. Right off, no...he didn't look like someone I'd want to romp with. But, as we spoke, I noticed nuances about him that attracted me more and more. We left it at that and I left, but if he had asked, I might have taken his card/number.

How about putting the shoe on the other foot. Do you ladies approach guys you're interested in and make the first move or not? Why not? Why wait for him? Trust me, it would make a lot of guys feel pretty good and at least we know up front you're interested in us instead of the other way around. Originally Posted by pornodave69

Yes, occasionally, I've approached men. I just did it a few days back to a man I saw in the lobby of my office building. He was nice, and we ended up having a drink the next day. However, it's a little more difficult when you choose providing as your line of work, you know? If I let it go beyond the occasional hang out, I'm sure it would get a little hairy pretty quickly.

I'd be more than happy to find "the" one, but I'd be happy to find "one" period. If I can't get past "hello" or get their number at the very least, they're not interested from the start. If they're interested in dinner conversation that just leads to yet one more "friend."

I always figured I was just the kind of guy a girl had to know first and that would possibly lead to more but it always leads to just another friendship. And never with "benefits."

I get catcalls alot...but then again I dress "like a slut" 80% of the time{lol}!!!

I was at the laundry by my house yesterday and the manager said a man staying at the hotel by my house was asking who I was & he said I had the sexiest ass!!geeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzz!!! lol!

I can only speak for myself. I have never had a problem approaching ladies. I do approach women and sometimes it leads to dates, but not interested in finding "the" one or committment at all.

I was married for over 20 years, got divorced, and started to hobby. I do date civilian ladies now but not seeing anything that keeps me interested. Some recent ladies I no longer see: 1) she comes into my house after a date and comments on the color of the walls and the decor could be changed; Lady you gotta go we have not even had sex yet and you are changing my house around!? Did not sleep with her, mostly cuz I call an ATF and relieve myself but also think damn lady chill out!! 2) A lady I called everyday for a little while txt's me after two days I did not call and starts to bitch at me, "Did I give up on her?" and got real possessive. I explained just busy and she gave me attitude - done with her!! 3) Another lady I have dated calls me last Saturday night all drunk from a wedding she went to that day and starts questioning if I was out on another date? Who was I with - again all possessive. I would not have answered the phone if I was on another date I was out with an old Marine Corps buddy and she heard the background noise. All I can say is with women like this why do I want to approach another woman!!!!

I still approach women as often as I talk with men, no I am not bi-sexual, I talk with people everyday. i have confidence in myself and know who i am. I always think if I approach a lady and she rejects "Her loss" I am a nice guy with a good living, comfortable home, and I adore being a family man. If she does not like an honest, intelligent, and fun guy - Her Loss. I am not a Brad Pitt type guy with great looks. In fact, I am short, have a small gut, and I am not into image with Rolex watches, desinger suits and all of that. I am down to earth, honest, fun-loving, and sincere, if she does not like that "Her Loss"

I have talked to a woman in a shopping center recently and I have added her to my joke list that I send out and now we are talking and I feel confident if I ask her out she would say yes. That's how I do it, just speak and do not even ask for phone number but email address, start slow and I can learn a little about her and she can learn about me and we just see from there. Just my experiences. Actually dating while I hobby allows me to go slow with the civilian ladies and not be so anxious to get into their pants, lol. That comes later. So, I guess thanks to all you providers out there for helping me out with my dating life.

I did get a little close to one lady and felt I should tell her about my hobby, but have not yet, I even took her to a Saints game and for me to invite you to a Saints game says I like you a lot. My drive to be honest is kicking in and I do feel guilty about hobbying while I see her, but I have not had sex with her yet, I think I should tell her first. That reminds of another lady I saw that asked if I was into bdsm and explained the whole thing to me - sry not my thing.

So, Eden hobbyists and confident men do approach you ladies everyday, at least I do and I do it in a polite manner. I have no pick up lines or master plans I just walk up and say what is on my mind - that simple.

he said I had the sexiest ass!! geeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzz!!! lol! Originally Posted by DallasRain

Very had to disagree!!!