How do you lke to be rejected?

Hey Fellas (and any female hobbyists )!

I have a scheduling query I thought may be interesting to open up to the board.

How do you personally prefer to be rejected when a provider you have requested time with is not interested for whatever reasons? I know how to screen a guy, but it's such a minefield when it comes to dealing with the requests I know I don't want to work with (at least at this time).

Do you want us to answer you no matter what, even if we reply with something you may not like to hear? Do you want us to ignore if we're not interested? Do you want us to be totally honest as to why we don't want to work with you or do you want us to be easy on ya and just say we aren't a good match without going into why?

I tend to be open to all shapes and sizes and ages, all colors and backgrounds, but there are those times where the honest reasoning behind my reluctance or refusal to work with them is physical or personal. Or something that, I'm not sure what's worse - ignoring them and getting bad rap for that or telling them something that could set them off and create an even bigger backlash.

Is there a standard term or method of saying "thanks but no thanks" in a polite and Hobby World way that I'm unaware of? Or is it really the individual preference/ individual ideas of how Providers should run their own businesses minefield I've been making it out to be?

Thanks!

Electic
Feel
Now
John_Dough's Avatar
I thought you just scheduled then no showed for those.
I just tell them I am sorry but I have to decline your offer and thats the end of it.
Bob McV's Avatar
Personally, I would prefer a formal 5 paragraph essay clearly starting your 3 point reasoning of why you wouldn't want to accept me as a new client. However I will go out on a limb to say most guys, would perfer a short responce as simple as "We wouldn't be a good match"

Nobody likes to be ignored and I think even the creepiest of us guys would hold more respect for someone saying no than being ignored. Of corse there are edge cases where any communication would be bad, but you aren't asking about those just us run of the mill creeper that lurks these halls.
fun2come's Avatar
I am still waiting for your rejection ... I can take it ... I am a BIG BOY now ... those extra pounds I put on after NOT hearing from you .... brutal all that beer and junk food.

You know I'll answer your question the moment I think you'd really care.

John_Dough got it right...
nuglet's Avatar
Look at it this way.. if you don't say "NO" or give a reason, whoever it is you don't want to see has no good reason not to keep trying over and over until you do.
Centaur's Avatar
I prefer a brief rejection note so I don't have to wonder. If she wishes to share any of her reasons as frankly as she likes, it's appreciated, but she doesn't owe me any explanation.

On the other hand, I feel awful turning someone down, so I usually don't reply if someone I haven't seen before offers to see me and I'm not interested. Yes, this is a cowardly fear that I'll hurt their feelings and it's a little condescending not to assume they're like me and won't be hurt. Now that I think about it, this is something I need to work on. From now on I resolve to return polite replies either way to ladies who are generous enough to go out on a limb and contact me.

All of which is to say, I think it's better to tell someone no thank you than nothing, but I certainly understand not wanting to and I'm not going to judge someone who doesn't want to respond to an appointment request.

The above pertains to people you just don't care to spend time with for personal reasons. If it's a known creeper with corroborated alerts, I would totally ignore.
Toyz's Avatar
  • Toyz
  • 06-05-2014, 08:06 PM
Just a short note like...."Oh Toyz yo cawk is soooo BEEEEGGGG! I cannot see you any mo"....
knotty man's Avatar
by Lebron James comin outta nowhere as i drive the lane and levitate for the sure 2 !!
JohnnyYanks's Avatar
...Do you want us to answer you no matter what, even if we reply with something you may not like to hear?

Yes.

Do you want us to be totally honest as to why we don't want to work with you? Originally Posted by Electricfeelnow
Yes.
Pitfall's Avatar
If you ignore someone, there's a chance they'll tell others.

If you tell someone you won't see them because they're fat, they probably won't tell others.
fun2come's Avatar
If you ignore someone, there's a chance they'll tell others.

If you tell someone you won't see them because they're fat, they probably won't tell others. Originally Posted by CatPee
Wish that would have applied to Toyz:

Just a short note like...."Oh Toyz yo cawk is soooo BEEEEGGGG! I cannot see you any mo".... Originally Posted by Toyz
Toyz's Avatar
  • Toyz
  • 06-05-2014, 08:32 PM
Wish that would have applied to Toyz: Originally Posted by fun2come
"Oh Toyz, yo cawk is so beeg & fat I cannot see yo any mo"...

Hows that F2C?
Inpaula69's Avatar
You could say, "I changed my mind about seeing you. I heard you were a duechebag!" Or you could just cancel at the last minute
MoneyManMatt's Avatar
If you tell him NO, you only lose the chance to see that one guy. Be nice about it so you don't come off as a bitch.

If you flat ignore him, there's a chance that he says something that causes you to earn a reputation for bad TCB skills. How many times does a thread come up asking about a lady's TCB skills....well there's that guy that gives his 2 cents.

If you NCNS or last second cancel, you risk a NCNS review and lose the chance to see lots of guys...including some that you see if they asked to see you.