Top 10 foods that harden your woody!

Fancyinheels's Avatar
Thought about putting this in the Sandbox, but I think it very relevant to the lads and lassies here and the quality of their play time, so Coed it is.

Research into human sexuality continues from the early theories of Masters and Johnson to the current facts of how nutrition affects our randiness. New studies from several sources find more and more correlation between desire, the vascular system, and the stiffness of a fellow's tree based on what he's consuming from the Earth.

Top 10 things to eat that will help wake up Peter's pipe for blowing.

1. The obvious - pussy! (Need I explain more?)
2. Beet juice. High in nitrates that help open up blood vessels.
3. Leafy greens like spinach. Hey, worked for Popeye.
4. Celery. One stalk deserves another.
5. Dark chocolate. The flavonoids improve circulation, and chocolate is just sexy.
6. Pistachios. Nuts for your nut!
7. Oysters and other shellfish. The myth turns out to be true. Zinc and hormone release gets your body to rise to the occasion.
8. Watermelon, the natural Viagra! Antioxidant phytonutrients.
9. Tomatoes. The lycopene in that and other deep red fruits and veggies (red grapefruit, red peppers) stimulate circulation, and it's good for the skin, too!
10. Pineapple. Okay, no real evidence it helps a hard-on, but I put it in because if you consume pineapple, you'll taste better, which will make me want to lick your Popsicle even more, and THAT will definitely get your attention. Pineapple has enzymes that are also good for the suppleness of the skin. I like that iron rod covered in velvet texture on my tongue.

Other foods good for circulation and 3-D pop-up include cranberries, apples, peanuts, onions, garlic, tea, and red wine.

I already keep a bowl of dark chocolate at my incall. Guess I should add some pistachios and peanuts. I have a full bar and wine rack. I see some experimentation ahead with Jameson and beet juice cock-tails. Jameson and cranberry juice is a popular drink with the younger crowd in Ireland. Jameson and pineapple juice with a little umbrella and a cranberry garnish? Sangria with grapefruit, beets, cranberries, and pineapple?
Blueberries, Walnuts and Raw Almonds
Lexieinhouston's Avatar
I have 7 of these items on hand right now! I have also heard pomegranate.


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Lexieinhouston's Avatar
Let's not forget the scents:

http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/55b_love_tip.html

PS...My shaking cupcake is even starting to annoy me, lol. Anyone have an avatar of two mellon boobs? Meanwhile, switching to a taco.


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Alyssa XOXO's Avatar
I'm copying and pasting as we speak....
tbone77494's Avatar
I eat a lot of fruit so you ladies can enjoy CIM a bit more. Pineapple seems to work best.
Fancyinheels's Avatar
For those of you who may want to visit a certain Irish redheaded wench, please stay away from strawberries for a couple of days prior. I'm highly allergic, and I've had to go to the ER for, um, "secondhand" enjoyment of the strawberry smoothies a fellow had for breakfast every day of the week, and for the strawberry shake a gent slurped at lunch before having a helping of me for dessert.

(Must keep more EpiPens on hand, but jeez, I hate stabbing myself with those.)
Lexieinhouston's Avatar
Wow, I didn't know that was possible...scary. This is probably a really good PSA
Fancyinheels's Avatar
Wow, I didn't know that was possible...scary. This is probably a really good PSA Originally Posted by Lexieinhouston
Got to the point where I had to list it prominently on my ECCIE and P411 profiles and on the rates section of my website. I am the only lady I know who has an allergy problem to this extent. Starts with big red blotches on my skin, progresses to itching, nausea, and difficulty breathing depending on the degree of exposure.

Any other ladies or gents here allergic to anything that badly? I know peanuts and shellfish are red flag foods for some, but after they are, um, "processed" by the body, can they elicit a reaction?

Love raspberries, however, with cream. I have a recipe that willing gentlemen can help me with, evil laugh.
boardman's Avatar


There was just an episode where this chick developed an allergy to her husband's seminal fluid after have their first child. Man that would suck.
Russ38's Avatar


There was just an episode where this chick developed an allergy to her husband's seminal fluid after have their first child. Man that would suck. Originally Posted by boardman
Lying bitch.....
Russ38's Avatar
Let's not forget the scents:



PS...My shaking cupcake is even starting to annoy me, lol. Anyone have an avatar of two mellon boobs? Meanwhile, switching to a taco.
Originally Posted by Lexieinhouston




boardman's Avatar
Lying bitch..... Originally Posted by Russ38
I know, right?

The allergist that confirmed it was a bitch too. It's a conspiracy
Russ38's Avatar
I know, right?

The allergist that confirmed it was a bitch too. It's a conspiracy Originally Posted by boardman
Hopefully no one here is allergic to catnip....that would be the real tragedy...
MasterWonton's Avatar
I think someone is going to mention fried chicken...