The Pedometer For Your Penis

I need one of these


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/0...ushpmg00000063

Okay, the first question that I have is how on earth they can hope to evaluate "performance"? Is this thing going to try and encourage men to "fuck like a porn" star, by lighting up the faster he goes? How will it quantify what performance is? There is alot of merit in a nice, slow, comfortable screw after all!

According to the article, this is just a prototype, and we are going to have to wait until product testing is complete.

So, my second question is - where do I sign up to offer my assistance in testing this baby out? Being the caring, selfless, individual that I am, I feel that I must, in good conscience, make a guinea pig of myself in the interest of science. *sigh* I'm sure its a dirty job, but someone has to do it.

Maybe, we need a smart buttplug, too. It could measure length of use, width of gape, and maybe even call somebody too!

Maybe, we need a smart buttplug, too. It could measure length of use, width of gape, and maybe even call somebody too! Originally Posted by Smoking Monkey

Put a microphone in it too! That way when someone tells you that you are just talking out your ass, you can smile and proudly say "Why yes! Yes I am!"

Honestly, I'm pretty sure I don't want that wrapped around my cock.. simple device on or around the waist can do the same calculation.. HA..

Now, more interesting thought, how about one for a blow job..

It needs an odometer to count strokes.
1....2..... ........ .........

This takes "Yeah, there's an app for that" to a whole new level!

Maybe I should use my not inconsiderable experience and wisdom to come up with an app that will tell women when to speed up, slow down, go deeper, use more spit, when to switch to hand and back to oral, etc. to improve their oral skills.

Hmmm, I see an entire market in the sex tips app trade....

It needs an odometer to count strokes.
1....2..... ........ ......... Originally Posted by zeejoe

8 inches x 300 strokes per time x 2.25 encounters per week is about 5 miles per year.

Gosh it would take ten year of this to travel 50 miles.



JR

It needs an odometer to count strokes.
1....2..... ........ ......... Originally Posted by zeejoe

Not with me... I can be ur count Dracula lol on Sesame Street.... " A oooonnnneeee ahhhhh twwwwwooooo" hahahahaha

I need one of these


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/0...ushpmg00000063 Originally Posted by Saint7

It does not come in 1.3" of dangling death size.