- beautifulbliss
- 08-25-2014, 11:53 AM
I wouldn't mind trying all kinds of role playing but I am really wanting to get my feet wet in the BDSM world ..........
- Urban Dahlia
- 08-25-2014, 04:52 PM
Just make sure you trust the person if you are going to play the submissive role. I would highly urge you to only participate in any BDSM (submissive) play only after you have seen the man at least once or twice before. That way you build some trust and a connection, which will render you a very pleasurable experience. There are a lot of men that are into both sides of the fence which should be a lot of Fun, just make smart decisions with your personal safety in mind before engaging. :-D
- vendoban
- 08-25-2014, 04:55 PM
I agree. I may be only a white belt at this BDSM stuff but getting a feel for the Dom or sub (depending on the situation) is key, set boundaries and always have a safe word!
- beautifulbliss
- 08-26-2014, 12:38 AM
Thanks 
- Zeeba Neighba
- 08-26-2014, 05:08 PM
Just make sure you trust the person if you are going to play the submissive role. I would highly urge you to only participate in any BDSM (submissive) play only after you have seen the man at least once or twice before. That way you build some trust and a connection, which will render you a very pleasurable experience. There are a lot of men that are into both sides of the fence which should be a lot of Fun, just make smart decisions with your personal safety in mind before engaging. :-D Originally Posted by Urban DahliaI agree with all of that but I'll add a few other things as someone who has greatly enjoyed being a Dom in BDSM role play for 18 years.
1. TALK TO THE GUY first - at length and in a neutral and preferably public place - about it. Listen carefully. Listen for his philosophy and understanding of the psychology behind it. If he doesn't express those things, he's just looking to beat the hell out someone and doesn't really know what he's doing. In that case, run...run far and run fast.
2. See if he's open to having someone there for the first session or two if you have a kinky friend who might want to watch. Just sort of a safety in numbers thing.
3. Be clear about what you think your limits are in the beginning. I say in the beginning because, if done correctly, your limits will probably change over time.
4. Look for a Dom that will listen - REALLY listen - to you. This is not only for safety, but also so he really knows you and can use that information to sculpt his approach to your sessions. Err on the side of giving him too much information, especially about things that might be triggers.
5. HAVE AN OPEN MIND. IT'S ALL ABOUT TRUST. Really good, true BDSM is all about exploring and expanding boundaries. I've had subs who did things (and had orgasms so powerful they bordered on convulsions in the process) that they NEVER would have dreamed of in the beginning. But as trust built, they would go a little further and explore a little more each time. Eventually that got to the place where their trust was complete and a whole world opened up.
The great paradox of submission in BDSM is that it can be incredibly liberating. But it's all about finding a Dom you can trust and who really knows what he's doing.
- Guest030219
- 08-26-2014, 10:26 PM
I wouldn't mind trying all kinds of role playing but I am really wanting to get my feet wet in the BDSM world ..........This would be so hard for me. I just cannot see myself causing any pain in any way to a woman.
- Zeeba Neighba
- 09-01-2014, 04:26 PM
- Urban Dahlia
- 09-01-2014, 06:21 PM
I agree with all of that but I'll add a few other things as someone who has greatly enjoyed being a Dom in BDSM role play for 18 years.These are all great points you have made for those who take BDSM more seriously than I do. You seem to be genuinely caring, and someone a sub could trust. Many others are not, and they are sadistic abusive assholes with their own massive internal issues.
1. TALK TO THE GUY first - at length and in a neutral and preferably public place - about it. Listen carefully. Listen for his philosophy and understanding of the psychology behind it. If he doesn't express those things, he's just looking to beat the hell out someone and doesn't really know what he's doing. In that case, run...run far and run fast.
2. See if he's open to having someone there for the first session or two if you have a kinky friend who might want to watch. Just sort of a safety in numbers thing.
3. Be clear about what you think your limits are in the beginning. I say in the beginning because, if done correctly, your limits will probably change over time.
4. Look for a Dom that will listen - REALLY listen - to you. This is not only for safety, but also so he really knows you and can use that information to sculpt his approach to your sessions. Err on the side of giving him too much information, especially about things that might be triggers.
5. HAVE AN OPEN MIND. IT'S ALL ABOUT TRUST. Really good, true BDSM is all about exploring and expanding boundaries. I've had subs who did things (and had orgasms so powerful they bordered on convulsions in the process) that they NEVER would have dreamed of in the beginning. But as trust built, they would go a little further and explore a little more each time. Eventually that got to the place where their trust was complete and a whole world opened up.
The great paradox of submission in BDSM is that it can be incredibly liberating. But it's all about finding a Dom you can trust and who really knows what he's doing. Originally Posted by Zeeba Neighba
I am just NOT that serious about this type of stuff anymore. For me, it has to be about having Fun, and not so much about going beyond my own limits (sub role) or inflicting bodily/emotional harm on someone (Dom role).
I already do this every day in my Spiritual walk and my Life's journey. Trust me I KNOW what it means to go beyond my limits, especially when overcoming fear and pain. I don't need to be a slave to someone to grow as a person, but I do need Jesus.
My views on BDSM greatly changed after that trip that Chloe and I took to Des Moines, IA. I will NEVER again view this type of lifestyle in the same way every again. It sickened and disgusted me!! I had PTSD for months after watching what went on inside that place!!
This might be why the BDSM world never accepts me lol. Because I am not serious about it, I like to have Fun/Laugh and not to mention that I am a Switch.
I just consider myself to be a Healthy Person who really loves Sexuality/Sex (A LOT lol). I am slave to NO man, and I do NOT have any desire for anyone to be my slave either. The idea of this is a huge turn off for me now. After many years of working on myself, I now see people in a whole new Light. I choose to be a maker/maintainer of Peace/Love. Not a creator of self esteem issues, and deep emotional scars.
Balance is what I believe in, and this very concept is why the BDSM community/world and I blend together like oil and water lol. We do NOT see eye to eye on what is abusive and damaging, and what is done in Fun.
Oh well, there are millions of other things that have seized my interest that center around a Healthy Sexual Balance, and boy are they super Fun lol
My Advice:
- Do this in Fun with someone you Trust and have a Connection. It should be an enjoyable experience for both parties.
- Do not let yourself get sucked into a world of chaos where, more often than not, the Dom is the one with the real emotional/mental issues (not the sub as most would initially think).
Now you can all let the fiery daggers fly in my direction LOL. Flame Away lol...
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- bp6570
- 09-01-2014, 06:45 PM
These are all great points you have made for those who take BDSM more seriously than I do. You seem to be genuinely caring, and someone a sub could trust. Many others are not, and they are sadistic abusive assholes with their own massive internal issues.No need to flame you. You stated your opinion in a very intelligent & sensible manner. I think most here respect & value what you have contributed to this thread & others.
I am just NOT that serious about this type of stuff anymore. For me, it has to be about having Fun, and not so much about going beyond my own limits (sub role) or inflicting bodily/emotional harm on someone (Dom role).
I already do this every day in my Spiritual walk and my Life's journey. Trust me I KNOW what it means to go beyond my limits, especially when overcoming fear and pain. I don't need to be a slave to someone to grow as a person, but I do need Jesus.
My views on BDSM greatly changed after that trip that Chloe and I took to Des Moines, IA. I will NEVER again view this type of lifestyle in the same way every again. It sickened and disgusted me!! I had PTSD for months after watching what went on inside that place!!
This might be why the BDSM world never accepts me lol. Because I am not serious about it, I like to have Fun/Laugh and not to mention that I am a Switch.
I just consider myself to be a Healthy Person who really loves Sexuality/Sex (A LOT lol). I am slave to NO man, and I do NOT have any desire for anyone to be my slave either. The idea of this is a huge turn off for me now. After many years of work I now see people in a whole new Light, and I am a maker/maintainer of Peace/Love. Not a creator of self esteem issues, and deep emotional scars.
Balance is what I believe in, and this very concept is why the BDSM community/world and I blend together like oil and water lol. We do NOT see eye to eye on what is abusive and damaging, and what is done in Fun.
Oh well, there are millions of other things that have seized my interest that center around a Healthy Sexual Balance, and boy are they super Fun lol
My Advice:
- Do this in Fun with someone you Trust and have a Connection. It should be an enjoyable experience for both parties.
- Do not let yourself get sucked into a world of chaos where, more often than not, the Dom is the one with the real emotional/mental issues (not the sub as most would initially think).
Now you can all let the fiery daggers fly in my direction LOL. Flame Away lol...
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Originally Posted by Urban Dahlia
- Urban Dahlia
- 09-01-2014, 07:03 PM
