You guys are funny. In all seriousness Eeyore, none of the stuff on TV will enlarge your penis. I WILL shrink your pocket book.
There is ONE proven surgery in use that has guaranteed results in
lengthening with the lowest risk and side effects. (There is a separate surgery for increasing girth).
Basically, the Doctor cuts the ligaments that holds your cock in place, thereby allowing your cock to descend about another inch out of your body. The cost for this runs about $5K and it is elective surgery, so insurance does not cover it.
There is a pretty good discussion on the topic here
http://penis-enlargement.org/surgery.htm to include pros and cons.
Seek a specialist.
Hope this helps.
TW