1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead
of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just
pretty much leave me alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt
& leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal
your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't
be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a
couple of car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away
and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.
.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how
to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day .
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it
was probably a wise investment.
12. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one
works.
13. Some days you're the Statue; some days you're the Pigeon.
14. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need
it.
15. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night.
