Suggestive Screening?

So this question is mainly for the gents.

Ive noticed an influx of "new" members = no references.
Surprisingly however, are the PM's I get from gents that have been on this board for a while, or even Asp...(well that site), and still have NO references. (Although my sig line states that I am not newbie friendly)

So my question for the gents, is, if you dont have any references, how would you like us (ladies) to screen you? Screening is a must for 'most' of the ladies, but how do we effectively do so...without prying too much into your personal lives?

What kind of information, do you think is ideal to provide, that would make a lady comfortable in meeting?

With references, we get to ask about a gent BCD. But if a gent doesn't have any references, how are we to effectively screen?

I ask for the gents opinion on this one. We (providers) can think of a million ways to screen. Most of the time however, a gent complains we are asking too personal questions, there's no way they would tell us this and that....so this is why Ive decided to ask the gents this one.

I do look forward to the responses! If they are legitimate examples of how to effectively screen a "newbie"...I may become newbie friendly again.

Thanks!!!

All I can say is to screen the way that makes *YOU*, the Provider, comfortable. Isn't that what it comes down to?

As long as it is rigorous enough for your security, what does it matter if the guy bellyaches? You have it hanging on your shingle about your requirement there.

Myself though, I don't like to ask Providers for a vouch. I know that it doesn't matter since this is just business of providing time and that it is a professional curtousy (sp). But I just don't like to do it. I'll make an exception for when a favorite is leaving town and I want to see someone else in their absence that requires such things.

PS - Like the Avatar pic.

Do it however you are comfortable.

After all...

It is your business and more importantly, your well being.

that is very true!! its my business & i run it how i choose
i was just looking for a different way of doing things...
instead of hearing guys complain about what they wont provide,
thought it would be good to ask what "will" they provide...
and also for them to see that it isnt easy "screening a newbie..that doesnt want to divulge much info"

and definately not speaking of you 2....

I found p411's screening fairly painless and make it easy for both parties involved, maybe point them in that direction Amaya

thnx! i thought p411 was a great idea also

imho, while it may appear to many viewers that "someone is new to the hobby," in reality by the time folks join a board they (male or female) have usually been hobbying for more than a few weeks, months or even a year or more.

There are many ways to screen (and to be screened) and to vouch (which is a different process) and be vouched.

Meeting (and greeting) new folks in SA can be very simple, especially if you know where and how and when to see and be seen at community events, for example.

I, for one, have been "screened" (not vouched) simply by offering or agreeing to meet for a morning coffee or a simple lunch. Sometimes the lady had a guardian lurking nearby, sometimes not.

And the very first social event in SA was a small group of gents meeting for a lunch in a very public place; although several NC/NS'd (LOL!), that got the process rolling to the point where community events in SA are now held very regularly and are very coed.

imho, while it may appear to many viewers that "someone is new to the hobby," in reality by the time folks join a board they (male or female) have usually been hobbying for more than a few weeks, months or even a year or more. Originally Posted by ck1942

that is true. i find it odd when a gent has been here 6-12m & still hasnt taken the plunge. intriguing that they choose me, but i find it odd to be here that long (and that doesnt include the time lurking)

Meeting (and greeting) new folks in SA can be very simple, especially if you know where and how and when to see and be seen at community events, for example. Originally Posted by ck1942

i like that idea! does this mean the "hostess" has done the screening?

I, for one, have been "screened" (not vouched) simply by offering or agreeing to meet for a morning coffee or a simple lunch. Sometimes the lady had a guardian lurking nearby, sometimes not. Originally Posted by ck1942

i think thats a great idea. so is this off or on the clock? i would think current/past lovers may not like the idea of a potential new lover getting free off the clock time

i appreciate those options presented!!!
its not being intrusive, and gives an oppurtunity to meet w/o BCD time.
if you prefer to pm..thats a-okay with me.

keep the ideas coming guys!! im always interested in your thoughts & anything that involves having a succesful arrangement between us!

Yes, Meet and Greets are very valuable. They are a great way to meet and get better acquainted with others who you wish to eventually get together with. By meeting many of the ladies I have known as such events, the screening has been painless for me.

Besides...

I truly enjoy spending time with ladies at such events. They are truly a joy to be around.

I am fairly new here, and understand that screening needs to be done. I have no problem with that. I don't mind the inconvienience, and have been turned down once because I am new to the hobby.

Moka is right: Every lady needs to do what they feel is good for them. If someone is not responsive to your requests, then it is their loss, not the providers.

Is there a magic answer? No.

But if you as the provider are cautious in your screeneing, that just makes it safer for the rest of us here.

I am fairly new to the hobby myself. I found some success on CL where we agreed to meet at a public place (bar) had a drink or two and then scurried off for fun. This helped my comfort as well as hers. If this meets your comfort level then give it a shot.

Perhaps meeting the gentleman in a non-threatening place for coffee/chat? If you aren't comfortable with somebody in that scenario, probably wouldn't be BCD either...

Amen!!

screen the way that makes *YOU*, the Provider, comfortable. Isn't that what it comes down to?
As long as it is rigorous enough for your security, what does it matter if the guy bellyaches? Originally Posted by Precious_b

MsPrittiKitti,
I know you want the men's feedback. But I have to wholeheartedly agree with Precious_b. And offer a females opinion.

Screening should always & only be your way or no way!
Doll, do not allow any hobbyist to dictate how they will be screened.
Your safety is first & foremost! And by passing screening which requires other provider feedback, may backfire on you in a not so good way.

Any rapist or cop etc, can put on a smile & happy go lucky face and sit across a table from you and act like the sweetest man in the world.
Until it comes time for him to get you alone.

Don't by into all the bs excuses that they're newbies. (yes some MAY be) but not all who profess to be).
If they've found their way onto an adult site such as this and others, then somewhere down the road they've hobbyied.

There are & always will be some men who want you to *think* they are new to all this so you don't screen them, so they can take advantage of you, harm you and so you don't find out what alerts may be posted on them or what their previous handles may of been.

Screen like your life depends on it! Because it sure as hell does!
And if they don't meet your screening requirements. Then don't see them. No amount of $ is worth your well being.

Do not let hobbyist dictate your screening nor safety! In the end you will thank yourself.


Hobby safely & wisely.

+1

Let the ladies who are newbie friendly see the guys so they can gain references. I am always careful about who I see. We have a lot of new talent and new guys. We all have to be careful.

When I first started, I gave some personal info out so the newbie friendly lady would be comfortable in seeing me. After a while, I gained enough references. It's hard for guys to get started. That's just part of it.

Bottom line --- be careful.