How does that work?

  • 2shy
  • 02-23-2015, 07:42 PM
So there is a post over in the Provider Ads section today, where for screening, the young lady wants the usual stuff - name, references, etc - but one item on her list was a 'general description of yourself'.

Now, if I tell the truth - I am old, fat, and ugly; which is why I am here and not at some night club picking up drunk college girls for free - would that preclude me from her client list? I have seen some providers ask for a picture, just to validate when you show up that you are the person they were expecting to show up - but just a general description wouldn't cover that!
pyramider's Avatar
The Search tab is your friend.
SpiceItUp's Avatar
Now, if I tell the truth - I am old, fat, and ugly; Originally Posted by 2shy
No problem. Tell her you look wise, cuddly, and approachable you'll be all set
chicagoboy's Avatar
Now, if I tell the truth - I am old, fat, and ugly; which is why I am here and not at some night club picking up drunk college girls for free - would that preclude me from her client list? Originally Posted by 2shy
Tell her you look like Val Kilmer or Axl Rose.
  • 2shy
  • 02-23-2015, 07:56 PM
No problem. Tell her you look wise, cuddly, and approachable you'll be all set Originally Posted by SpiceItUp
That works! It's all about marketing!
  • 2shy
  • 02-23-2015, 07:57 PM
The Search tab is your friend. Originally Posted by pyramider
No reason to search anything - not interested in this one or I would have posted in the ISO section. Just an interesting observation about a screening requirement.
drax1's Avatar
  • drax1
  • 02-23-2015, 07:59 PM
She's just trying to screen out relatives.
Russ38's Avatar
Tell her you look like Val Kilmer or Axl Rose....in the 80's. Originally Posted by chicagoboy
FTFY
.....or bringing cash works as well....
tbone77494's Avatar
I've asked and most claim they will grin and bear it with old, fat, and ugly as long as you are polite, very clean, and tip well.
JustMeCLTXGG's Avatar
No problem. Tell her you look wise, cuddly, and approachable you'll be all set Originally Posted by SpiceItUp
ha! great and creative way to spin that! SpiceItUp-timist
citizen44's Avatar
Brother, you have come to the right hobby. Old fat and ugly is actually a huge plus. Just look on BP and at least half the ads have cutsie little hearts with "I love white guys" and "I love old guys".

Old guys are:
1). More likely to be at a point career wise to pay higher amounts on a weekly basis
2). More likely to only be able to get it up once per session
3). Less likely to forget they are only spending time with you because your paying them and develop some BS crush on a girl 25 years younger than you
4). Less likely to say "Hey, weren't you the captain of my sisters high school cheerleading team last year? This is going to be so awesome!!!"
5). Less likely to try and beat the pussy up like http://m.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=1308844
6). More likely to be able to set her up as a SB so that she is only screwing one guy per week she doesn't like instead of ten guys per week she doesn't like

Just remember to be considerate of issues only relevant to being an OFUG:
1). If you wear a rug, tape that shit down. It really freaks them out when it falls off mid mish
2). Same for full dentures, Polygrip is your friend
3). Never see a provider with tits smaller than your own, it makes them feel insecure.
4). Be sure and pop the blue pill at least 30 minutes prior to the appointment. Why make her get lock jaw on a 45 minute BBBJ session just because you waited to see if she showed.
5). Your ass hangs down like pancakes to mid thigh and you're not Bela Lugosi, so do her a favor and avoid overhead mirrors

Other than that, screw any hangups, insecurities or feelings like you need to make sure she is sexually enjoying the session. You are the one paying, and other than a divorce attorney, it's probably going to be the single highest per hour service you pay for in life so enjoy it.

We are literally the fat kid in the candy store. Eat up!
Slitlikr's Avatar
Tell her you look like Benjamin Franklin.
  • 2shy
  • 02-23-2015, 10:05 PM
Brother, you have come to the right hobby. Originally Posted by citizen44
Oh I know, I have been hobbying for a quarter century or so - long before I was old, fat, and ugly!
Fancyinheels's Avatar
No problem. Tell her you look wise, cuddly, and approachable you'll be all set Originally Posted by SpiceItUp
Nice one!

Seriously, it's just another verification tool since many fellows are reluctant to send photos, understandably. When we look out that peephole in the door after you knock, we want to see someone who resembles the person we are supposed to meet. Ladies who want a "general description" usually just mean something like, for example, reddish hair, glasses, 6 ft tall, mid-fifties, extra pounds. There, I just described myself with my reading specs on. Hopefully you won't be wearing coral pink lipstick and a parsley green dress, too, but hey, each to their own.
RickyGshots's Avatar
Send them a picture of Benjamin Franklin...

(aww damnit Slitlkr beat me to it....!)