Just call the lady you are interested in and discuss your situation. Some are 100% non newbie friendly and some just want to talk to you and try to get a sense of comfort before committing. Vyvian was my first and that's what she did with me. I can't blame the providers as its a messed up world out there.
A messed up world indeed.. No i don't blame them either. I mean I'm careful when selecting a provider i expect they are the same. I've chatted a few here and there but ones I'm usually interested in require a refrence (understandable). Just wondering if P411 would work.