is there sex in the afterlife?

kinkyorca's Avatar
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no sex after life at all.
*
* After a long life* together, Frank was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first* contact: "Kris, Kris, can you hear me?"
*
"Is that* you, Frank?"
*
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
*
"That's* wonderful! What's it* like?"
*
"Well, I get up in* the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course.
*
I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times..
*Then I have lunch (and Kris, you'd be proud -- lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon.After supper, it's back to the golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over* again"
*
"Oh, Frank! Are you in* Heaven?"
*
"No --***** I'm a rabbit somewhere in South Texas."
WoodieTx's Avatar
God visited a woman and told her she must give up smoking, drinking
and sex if she wants to get into heaven. The woman said she would try her best.
God visited the woman a week later to see how she was getting on.
"Not bad" said the woman, "I've given up smoking and drinking but then
I bent over to get some stuff out of the freezer and my boyfriend
caught sight of my long slender legs, he pulled up my skirt, pulled my
knickers to one side and made love to me right then and there."
"They don't like that in heaven, said God.
The woman replied: "They're not too happy about it in Costco either!"
kinkyorca's Avatar
Lol.
bigbadbill969's Avatar
the Muslims claim there are virgins in heaven for martyrs
mr666's Avatar
  • mr666
  • 05-06-2015, 09:09 PM
There's sex in the afterlife alright. A bunch of maggots and worms skull fuckin' you. If you choose to be buried.
Wakeup's Avatar
the Muslims claim there are virgins in heaven for martyrs Originally Posted by bigbadbill969
Do they?
SpiceItUp's Avatar
If there isnt then Mormons are going to have a hard time populating their planets
AutumnB's Avatar
that is a great story. I think if there's a afterlife then anything's possible
Lol....both jokes made me laugh. Great stuff, guys!