Your assumptions are incorrect I'm afraid. Daty, BBBJ, and CIM ar nowhere near "as dangerous" as other BB activities.
For the most part Herpes (HSV1 and HSV2) is the only appreciable risk associated with those activities, especially for the male. But, herpes itself is only mitigated 30-50% with condom use in the first place (see
this post for more info on that subject). HIV incidence and any of the more serious STDs via bbbj is extremely extremely low for both parties, even moreso for the male.
Educate yourself on the subject and do whatever you are most comfortable with. As with everything else in life the risks cannot be mitigated completely.
Consult this chart for a rough idea of what risks are present for each activity. Note that you'll need to do more research to determine infection rates, the chart just tells you what's possible.
The fact that you are asking these questions tells me you should probably spend some time familiarizing yourself with what is possible as well as the probabilities involved. For the former, I suggest the table I link below. For the latter the CDC website is a good resource.
Good luck....
http://www.sfcityclinic.org/stdbasics/stdchart.asp