References:?'s. Please Define

from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/references

9. a person to whom one refers for testimony as to one's character, abilities, etc.

Ok after reading another thread, TMI. I do a search of upstate ny on the word references. Please do not try it, way to much to read. It comes up so many times, that its like reading 25% of the threads form the time iggy posted his thank you for a upstate ny area on the board.

So we all know many providers want one or more to meet you. We know many things can be used to check for each others character. Even reviews, threads, in PM to each other, and posts, can be part of if it. In a way this board is a reference.


As to guy has list of girls he has met to give to girls he wants to met: This is the one that looks to need is own "definition"

But with all the old threads, posts, and ads I have just looked at. Very few define it. The few that do, well all do not agree.

So as Mr. Hobby gives his references to Miss Provider that he wants to meet.
What information does the provider want on the other provider?
What information is ok to give other providers?
As there seems to be problems with some providers with other providers. And this was asked but not answered in one post.
Is there a list providers that other providers want to see, or do not want to see? MMMMM my thinking PLEASE NO on this one(in PM Maybe)
Does it have board handles, and the board?(for PM)
Phone number?
E-mail ?
Just what all makes up a Reference/s?

In hope to see no more about references. I am only at I already know its a dream. But one can try!!!!!!
so lets give it a try!!!

QSD I am with you on this lets clear this up once and for all.

I don't know if was Jack or Bob who said don't give out any info unless it is already public knowledge. Sorry if it was someone else but the memory does fade and I'm too lazy to look back at the other threads. I think giving your handle and site would provide all the info a young lady would need to verify who you are. Let her choose who to reach out to. If she has issues with some of them she can contact another. If more info is required (which has happened), I have always asked permission before I give out contact info if it's ok with the provider I am requesting be a reference for me.

My question in a previous thread was is it too much to ask someone I would like to meet to check my reviews and contact anyone she wants to? I know its a few more steps for her but would eliminate all the hassles that giving out contact info seems to cause. And give her the option on who to contact. I know not all have multiple reviews so this will not work for all.

Personally I would like the ladies who want us to go to a pay site for verification, to first email me a copy of their state ID. As for those who demand 2 industry references maybe they should provide us with verifiable references before they ask for the same.

papasmerf.

I understand your sentiment, but I think you will find few who agree with you around here concerning you statements, including myself. Keep in mind, you may be taking some risk, but the risk the fine ladies take is much more than you or I.

montana1958: it was jack. I almost quoted the reply in the other thread. And asking first is not a bad idea. There are two I would like to ask. But its ben so long I will have to see them By seeing them. Then ask before I leave after the fun.

Personally I would like the ladies who want us to go to a pay site for verification, to first email me a copy of their state ID. As for those who demand 2 industry references maybe they should provide us with verifiable references before they ask for the same. Originally Posted by papasmerf

mmmm I was to lazy to get this smile to start this thread. But some how I knew I would need it. The popcorn smile on this board is a bigger box of popcorn. But this one from majhost.com is better.

I do beleive that the providers have to do the same BS as we to get on the paid verifcations sites. Now as one that his ticket to see other providers on ASPD(RIP). Was a provider that not all trust. Even the ones that saw me. So I know how one gives his/her opinion does matter. The opinion matters so little. But how stated does alot. No, I'm not on a paid verifcation site. But it is not a bad idea. For some it may be the best idea.

Now most providers I have met I do not know more that what they wish for me to know. The ones I see alot I know way way way to much. But then that is also true they know way to much about me.

I did not want that to be part of this thread. But as I am guilty of thread drift on the threads of others. Ok lets add how much is to much information to know about each other for first meet.

But to help newbies, and help all from making a opps. I do want to get a definition of reference/s. As some only want phone number, or pm, or email or etc. and others say do not give that out. As jack stated it. that would leave as I want to see one. OK i can give the phone numver of this one the eamilof this other one, the board to pm that one errrrrrrrrrrr. What jack posted is right and it works. But as we see can lead a headacke. And guys off the little head. Even if it was not doing the ing.

papasmerf.

I understand your sentiment, but I think you will find few who agree with you around here concerning you statements, including myself. Keep in mind, you may be taking some risk, but the risk the fine ladies take is much more than you or I. Originally Posted by GP

good point. Suprised you are risking "NOW a meaner, angrier, uglier GP. I could agree with you, but then we would both be wrong."
Is this welcome back naaaa I still see the banned LOL

Guys it's not that hard when we ask for references. All you really have to do is say my references are Chloe, and her email is blah blah blah and Gabrielle and her email is blah blah blah.

Giving out providers numbers when it isn't posted on reviews, showcases, profiles or websites is a big no no as Gabrielle puts it. Try google'ing a girls number who posts it EVERYWHERE, it comes up! And if you and I can bring it up, when we travel to hotels, they can bring it up and deny us a room/ cause problems.

Another thing, don't be too vague! So many times a day I get the " I wanna meet you in an hour and I've seen Nikki, Erica and Lexi" <-- Okay gents do you know how many Nikki's, Erica's and Lexi's there are? How possibly do we know whom your talking about!!

Bottom line, I have found that either gents give WAY too much info when it comes to references, or NOT enough and then expect me to magically know who your talking about.

So when contacting us, give an email, or if they have a site, list that. If there number isn't public knowledge, leave it out. And by all means don't tell me where you met the lady in the past, unless I ask you to refresh her memory. If it's a gal that doesn't use email, give her a heads up, let her know your using her as a reference and ask if it's okay to have the provider your wanting to see contact her.

BrookeButtons
So if my only reference was Cher(see other reviews) or a BP girl with out a computer. Yes some on BP pay others to post ad's, thats why you see her age 20 something, poster 50 something. I can give phone number if that is the only way to contact as long as I asked her first. MMM Cher not a good example she does screening the old way. In a bar over a drink, and asking others there what they know about a person. But if I was to use you for her. Ask you first, then(if ok) tell her when and when not is a good time contact. Sorry I used so extreme type of providers. And I and I hope other will know in this type of case you can say I will not use any given providres reference for you to see me. But I do see that as a problem. If I was a total newbie(well I'm one in a way)And I am trying to move up from one type of game to here. Its the only thing some may have to give.

you can pass on this. but you where the first provider to this thread. sorry
edit: something I learned fast playing in bars. Watch look learn, its not always best being first to the bandwagon.

If your reference doesn't use email, which a few girls are like that, than yes you would need to contact your reference first, make sure its okay and then give out her information to myself. But fyi, I don't normally take BP as a reference as a handful only ever respond back. More than half, you'll get nothing, nadda, zipp.

And to add a little side note, many gents use a girl as a reference, and then when contacted they have NO CLUE who you are. I would say its best to always send a friendly, Hello and btw I am going to give your name as a reference to Brooke so she can contact you. Some guys don't hobby much and simply, we just forget you after a few months... (yes our memory isn't that great where hundreds of days can pass and we can still remember you). And it will save on the emails back and forth with me and the reference and me and the voucher needing more information.

Just cross all your t's and dot all your i's and hell get all your ducks in a line. This way you won't run into any problems.

Guys it's not that hard when we ask for references. All you really have to do is say my references are Chloe, and her email is blah blah blah and Gabrielle and her email is blah blah blah.

Giving out providers numbers when it isn't posted on reviews, showcases, profiles or websites is a big no no as Gabrielle puts it. Try google'ing a girls number who posts it EVERYWHERE, it comes up! And if you and I can bring it up, when we travel to hotels, they can bring it up and deny us a room/ cause problems.

Another thing, don't be too vague! So many times a day I get the " I wanna meet you in an hour and I've seen Nikki, Erica and Lexi" <-- Okay gents do you know how many Nikki's, Erica's and Lexi's there are? How possibly do we know whom your talking about!!

Bottom line, I have found that either gents give WAY too much info when it comes to references, or NOT enough and then expect me to magically know who your talking about.

So when contacting us, give an email, or if they have a site, list that. If there number isn't public knowledge, leave it out. And by all means don't tell me where you met the lady in the past, unless I ask you to refresh her memory. If it's a gal that doesn't use email, give her a heads up, let her know your using her as a reference and ask if it's okay to have the provider your wanting to see contact her. Originally Posted by BrookeButtons

BrookeButtons
So if my only reference was Cher(see other reviews) or a BP girl with out a computer. Yes some on BP pay others to post ad's, thats why you see her age 20 something, poster 50 something. I can give phone number if that is the only way to contact as long as I asked her first. MMM Cher not a good example she does screening the old way. In a bar over a drink, and asking others there what they know about a person. But if I was to use you for her. Ask you first, then(if ok) tell her when and when not is a good time contact. Sorry I used so extreme type of providers. And I and I hope other will know in this type of case you can say I will not use any given providres reference for you to see me. But I do see that as a problem. If I was a total newbie(well I'm one in a way)And I am trying to move up from one type of game to here. Its the only thing some may have to give.

you can pass on this. but you where the first provider to this thread. sorry
edit: something I learned fast playing in bars. Watch look learn, its not always best being first to the bandwagon. Originally Posted by offshoredrilling

And as few of us are hard to forget. Some times I wish I was easy to forget. This would help some as to meeting. And keeping your you know what from the you made a mistake. Thanks Brooke's. Other brave souls may chime in. bar time latter

papasmerf.

I understand your sentiment, but I think you will find few who agree with you around here concerning you statements, including myself. Keep in mind, you may be taking some risk, but the risk the fine ladies take is much more than you or I. Originally Posted by GP

Hey the lovable purple dinosaur is back, welcome home GP!We've missed your input.... well, most of it LOL

Thanks Perryay. I appreciate the kind thoughts. But please lets get this back on topic. I don't want to have the wrath of the mods come down on me because I am responsible for a thread being hijacked. They have better things to do than worry about little old me

Brooke,

Thank you, I personally need as much insight as possible being relatively new to the hobby. I appreciate your feedback as I am trying to up my game to be with the quality providers on this site. I only have very few occasions to hobby and I am trying to build my base of references – the last thing I want to do is upset a provider by acting in an unacceptable manner – without knowing and without the intent to harm.

The education is good

Heres the thing. If you have seen an Upstate girl (Buffalo, Syracuse, Albany and my person fav... Rochester,) chances are we know each other and can usually get a hold of one another pretty quick. However, I have and many of us, have gotten a ton of emails giving a reference for someone in say..Illinois or a no name on e.com. I will never accept a reference from a girl I don't know. I don't care where there info is advertised. If I were to get an inquiry from someone using backpage or cityvibe? Forget about it. Its not happening. Thats just the way it is my friends

Sadly OSD, you will start to see when more ladies chime in, that references really can't be defined.

There are girls that will take bp, CL (when it was around) and cityvibe as references, and there are others that don't use them. Personally for my self, only a hand full reply back and understand the safety behind screening! Some girls only want in the area references where as others will take an out of state girl. Most providers want 2 solid references, some don't even screen! Yikes!! I know scary! Some girls even go based on reviews that guys write....(what you mean some of them can be fake/never happend or pretend to be another gent).

On top of all of this, there are a handfull of guys who play mind games. Or email games as I call it. They email you a few times in a row asking questions but never giving out references, a few weeks/months later they email you back wanting to set up, hoping you forgot that you never screened them!!

Us girls just basically have to be on our A game at all times. And consultantguy, I am sure if you contact my self or any other fine lady from upstate ny, and want to set up, if you don't give us the information we need, or give us a little too much, we will politely tell you what you should or should not of done. It's okay to make a mistake....just as long as you learn from it and don't repeat your mistakes.