Reference etiquette

Being fairly new to the hobby I've had the pleasure of meeting a few providers. What is the proper reference procedure? Do I ask if she'll provide a reference, or just give the next provider the info on the women I've seen?

It is usually a good idea to let the provider that you have seen know ahead of time that you are planning to use her as a reference.

This is helpful for several reasons, first the memory circuits have already had a chance to kick in so she will know who she is talking about when giving the reference and it makes giving the reference fast and easy.

Second, she will know that you initiated the reference yourself so she will know that it is a legitimate request. There have been situations where LE has used the reference system against a provider to set her up. I also had a situation once where a provider asked for a reference, but she wasn't screening a new client. She was checking up on a regular who she felt should only be seeing her. When I inadvertently confirmed to her that he was seeing other providers, she went bunny boiler crazy on him!

So a quick PM to let the lady know to expect a reference request just makes the process safer and easier for all involved.

It is usually a good idea to let the provider that you have seen know ahead of time that you are planning to use her as a reference.

This is helpful for several reasons, first the memory circuits have already had a chance to kick in so she will know who she is talking about when giving the reference and it makes giving the reference fast and easy.

Second, she will know that you initiated the reference yourself so she will know that it is a legitimate request. There have been situations where LE has used the reference system against a provider to set her up. I also had a situation once where a provider asked for a reference, but she wasn't screening a new client. She was checking up on a regular who she felt should only be seeing her. When I inadvertently confirmed to her that he was seeing other providers, she went bunny boiler crazy on him!

So a quick PM to let the lady know to expect a reference request just makes the process safer and easier for all involved. Originally Posted by SinsOfTheFlesh

Absolutely Correct!!

Yep, what Sins & Emmie said. Always give the heads-up to those you are using as a reference. As they both said, helps to jog their memories on who the hell you are (no one ever remembers the Wiz... wtf?), and allows them to be more prepared for the query once it comes from the provider-to-be. Also, of course, I would clear it with the referencing provider before I gave her name to the wanna-be, in case she is out of town, away from computer, or anything else that may delay a timely response.

...she went bunny boiler crazy on him! Originally Posted by SinsOfTheFlesh

Thanks for the hilarious spit-take, Sins!

Thank you very much!

When I inadvertently confirmed to her that he was seeing other providers, she went bunny boiler crazy on him! Originally Posted by SinsOfTheFlesh

I'm shocked, shocked, I say, that a local KC hooker went "bunny boiler crazy" on the guy as if she had a lock on his business...can you say possessive and batshit crazy tendencies?!?!

Can we clarify that I'm not the Rabbit that went "bunny boiler crazy" lol not sure where that came from just don't want anyone thinking this Rabbit is like that!

I will vouch that Jessica Rabbit is NOT "bunny boiler crazy." Lol

Can we clarify that I'm not the Rabbit that went "bunny boiler crazy" lol not sure where that came from just don't want anyone thinking this Rabbit is like that! Originally Posted by JessicaKCRabbit

Damn you younguns! You are making me feel old! Anyone in their 40's and up probably got that reference. Oh fuck, now I'm blanking on the name of the movie! Help me out guys - Glenn Close sleeps with Michael Douglas, who is married, and then she flips out on him. Glenn Close's character took a rabbit that belonged to Michael Douglas's daughter, and boiled it alive. Hence, bunny boiler crazy. Note: Even the Lion King referenced that scene with its famous "Not the birdie boiler!" line!

And for clarity, this incident happened years ago, when I was brand spanking new to the business. The provider is now long gone, and I don't even remember her name anymore. I just remember when I was a newb, she had quite a reputation for being a little more batshit crazy than your typical provider. (We are ALL a little BSC, just some of us are more manageable than others LOL)

Damn you younguns! You are making me feel old! Anyone in their 40's and up probably got that reference. Oh fuck, now I'm blanking on the name of the movie! Help me out guys - Glenn Close sleeps with Michael Douglas, who is married, and then she flips out on him. Glenn Close's character took a rabbit that belonged to Michael Douglas's daughter, and boiled it alive. Hence, bunny boiler crazy. Note: Even the Lion King referenced that scene with its famous "Not the birdie boiler!" line!

And for clarity, this incident happened years ago, when I was brand spanking new to the business. The provider is now long gone, and I don't even remember her name anymore. I just remember when I was a newb, she had quite a reputation for being a little more batshit crazy than your typical provider. (We are ALL a little BSC, just some of us are more manageable than others LOL) Originally Posted by SinsOfTheFlesh

That would be FATAL ATTRACTION, and that bitch was BEYOND bat shit crazy!! That's why you guys need to stick to hookers and not to civie affairs!

another piece of advice is don't wear out your welcome. If you plan to go balls to the walls with new girls all the time, don't expect a lady to give you 10 references after you only saw her once. I imagine the girls who are good about getting and giving references spend a lot of time on it. Don't abuse that courtesy.

Ohhhh LOL Smh

It is usually a good idea to let the provider that you have seen know ahead of time that you are planning to use her as a reference.

This is helpful for several reasons, first the memory circuits have already had a chance to kick in so she will know who she is talking about when giving the reference and it makes giving the reference fast and easy.

Second, she will know that you initiated the reference yourself so she will know that it is a legitimate request. There have been situations where LE has used the reference system against a provider to set her up. I also had a situation once where a provider asked for a reference, but she wasn't screening a new client. She was checking up on a regular who she felt should only be seeing her. When I inadvertently confirmed to her that he was seeing other providers, she went bunny boiler crazy on him!

So a quick PM to let the lady know to expect a reference request just makes the process safer and easier for all involved. Originally Posted by SinsOfTheFlesh

And to think I did something the correct way with you and really appreciate the response.
Sin, I'm old school and know it doesn't take much to be courteous. Everyone concerned
needs to be protected with honesty and thoughtfulness if that is possible.

With few exceptions I only ask for references from girls who i plan on seeing again. You cant really do that when you are getting your feet wet or if you take extended time off in the hobby, but if I ask a girl for a reference it is likely I will repeat with them. It is a bit of a natural test on whether there will be any drama to come from the girl too.

Also, I have noticed the drama free providers that you are cool with tend to provide the best references anyway. So girls that you like and repeat with not only give you a good time, they are likely to help set things in the right direction with the girl who is screening you.

I have asked girls for references too and been turned down because of the length of time since the last session so it is nice to know that will be a problem directly instead of through the provider screening you who is likely to be suspicious of you anyway. There have been several times that I have thought I played with a woman a couple months ago only to go back and see it was a long while ago. That normally means they were fun and that maybe I should update my reference status with them anyway haha.

There have been several times that I have thought I played with a woman a couple months ago only to go back and see it was a long while ago. That normally means they were fun and that maybe I should update my reference status with them anyway haha. Originally Posted by bigryan2222

I got to thinking about this very thing today... involving the two fine ladies who have made comments on this thread!

I need to schedule some more BCD time!