Hooker BlOOps - OOps - BLOOPERS!!

Ever had an oops moment??.. eehhh, No biggie right?! ...But, what if you experienced an OOPS moment while on a date?? Would you panic?..Laugh?.. Pretend it didn't happen??...Or...WHAT??!

Well, as of late, the strangest shit has been happening to me while I'm on a date. I mean some really outrageous stuff! And I wondered, "Hhhmm, who else has had some memorable incidents during their dates?..." I'll share some clips of my most memorable blooper moments, without getting too personal or sharing names, if you'll share a brief blooper (or 2, 3 or...) as well.

Whether it's happened to you or because of you, let's share and laugh!


MY BLOOPER:

I wore my fucking panties inside out all night. Time for some bcd and when I noticed, I just burst out laughing and showed my date! I couldn't help it. Sad thing...He said he had noticed and didn't want to embarass me!! How sweet. And embarassing---for him to have that image of me, standing there in my inside out panties, stuck in his head.

...for him to have that image of me, standing there in my inside out panties, stuck in his head. Originally Posted by Gemma34

I'm guessing that wasn't the image of you that he had stuck in his head...

A few years ago, I was with a young lady, was doing my DATY thing and, according to her, was on #2 or 3, when I hit the right spot once again. This time, though, she sat straight up in the bed, at the same time I lifted my head from where it was. The top of my head hit her under the chin, and like a Joe Frazier uppercut, I about knocked her o-u-t.

To this day, I now remind myself "keep your head down, keep your head down...". And, for you those of you wondering, I got my BJ beforehand, so it didn't affect the finish! Not sure about the next guy, though...

I wore my fucking panties inside out all night. Originally Posted by Gemma34

I would think the fact you wore your fucking panties all night would have been a bigger problem with him than if they were inside out or not. That would go against my "no panties after 15 minutes rule"!

My Blooper:
About 15 years ago I was seeing a nationally known provider in Vegas. While she was going down on me I felt this sudden sharp pain and I just froze. She started mumbling something I couldn't understand but didn't remove her mouth from me. I started to pull away and the pain got worse.....A LOT WORSE! Finally I figured out that I was literally hung up on something inside of her mouth. She stuck a couple of fingers inside of her mouth and started moving them around while holding me down with her other hand. I'm like WTF?!?!?! Turns out somehow my buddy got hung up on a wire from her retainer! Thankfully there was no blood and we were able to finish our date after laughing for about an hour. It turned out great because later we cruised around Vegas with me driving her convertible Dodge Viper for hours. Best trip to Vegas EVER!

Ever had an oops moment??.. eehhh, No biggie right?! ...But, what if you experienced an OOPS moment while on a date?? Would you panic?..Laugh?.. Pretend it didn't happen??...Or...WHAT??!

Well, as of late, the strangest shit has been happening to me while I'm on a date. I mean some really outrageous stuff! And I wondered, "Hhhmm, who else has had some memorable incidents during their dates?..." I'll share some clips of my most memorable blooper moments, without getting too personal or sharing names, if you'll share a brief blooper (or 2, 3 or...) as well.

Whether it's happened to you or because of you, let's share and laugh!


MY BLOOPER:

I wore my fucking panties inside out all night. Time for some bcd and when I noticed, I just burst out laughing and showed my date! I couldn't help it. Sad thing...He said he had noticed and didn't want to embarass me!! How sweet. And embarassing---for him to have that image of me, standing there in my inside out panties, stuck in his head. Originally Posted by Gemma34

At least no skis marks, Right?

I would think you sleep nekkid my sweets! lol

My blooper....
I was going hot & heavy with a gent in New Orleans...we were at a nice hotel with a georgous four poster bed and a huge framed New orleans style picture above headboard area....He was sitting on my face ridding Willie Nelson style and all of a sudden,glass came tumbling down from the picture/then the frame/then the picture....after we cleaned up the glass and blood,we shared a shower and had a good laugh!
{The hotel did not charge me for the picture thank God/they said it happens alot}

She was riding me cowgirl and I must have been doing something right because she starts spazzing on my dick like crazy. Once she's settling down I sit up a little to adjust my pillow right as she was collapsing on my chest. Bam. Head butted her right in the eye. Total buzz kill. But a couple of ice packs, a smoke and a beer later we were right back where we started.

I was rencently tricked by someone who is on my DNS list and didn't know who it was until he came to the door. He is on a verification site with a past ok from me, so I figured that I would know who it was when I saw him..and sure enough, I knew I had been tricked as soon as I saw who it was. I had dns'd him for personal reasons prior... that did not include compromising my safety...and I wasn't sure where the mix up was, so made no issue and went through with our time.

Turns out he had changed all of his info, username, number, city of residence etc., so yes, a slip in the system.

Long story long...A friend contacted me for a verification within the week following.

I went on a big rant about what had happened and said some pretty harsh, but true things..and in switching screens, accidentally sent it to him.

Fun thread Gemma! I have more but will let others chime in first.

My blooper moment...
There was this one time that I got lost in a hotel parking lot.
I couldn't find the side entrance she told me to come to, so I gave her a call... she sees me and tells me that I just want pass it so I quickly turn around.

Nothing is as inconspicuous as squealing tires in a hotel parking lot...

...Turns out he had changed all of his info, username, number, city of residence etc.. Originally Posted by Ari816

Does that mean he is back from touring Europe or is he still roaming the midwest?

Sorry Ari - I just could not resist.

Lmao...I knew their would be someone who would catch that. Believe me, I'm not the only one.

Fun thread Gemma! I have more but will let others chime in first. Originally Posted by Ari816

Do any of them involve a Chupacabra and a shoe?

Lol these are funny!

Another time my client and I set some hotel carpet on fire. We had tea candles lit everywhere, bottle of baby oil, throw in some shots of Jack Daniels and what a party! Then the lid came off the baby oil during a nice relaxing massage and he slipped off me into the night stand where the tea candles were dimly lit and the next thing we knew... There was a fire! We put it out, cleaned up and moved the night stand over the burnt carpet.

Good times... I love Jack!

Lol these are funny!

Another time my client and I set some hotel carpet on fire. We had tea candles lit everywhere, bottle of baby oil, throw in some shots of Jack Daniels and what a party! Then the lid came off the baby oil during a nice relaxing massage and he slipped off me into the night stand where the tea candles were dimly lit and the next thing we knew... There was a fire! We put it out, cleaned up and moved the night stand over the burnt carpet.

Good times... I love Jack! Originally Posted by Gemma34

I'm more inclined to believe it was a friction fire Gem I'm sure glad there was no fire when I was hung up on that retainer!!!!

It was my first appointment with a particular provider. When I got to the parking lot, she gave me the room, said come on up, don't knock or talk, just walk in. She was going to put the door latch between the door and jamb to keep it propped open so I could walk right in. When I got to the room, the door was locked and she wasn't answering her phone. Apparently between the time I left the car and got to the room a hotel maintenance man saw the door ajar, knocked and made all kinds of noise thinking that someone accidentally got the latch between the door and wanted to let whoever was inside know. Of course she thought it was me not following directions. I was utterly confused until the maintenance guy who saw me at that door mentioned that my "wife" seems to be very upset.

When I was living in Texas had just wrist surgery on my hand so it was in a cast, and I had one of my regular clients come for an appt, he was a foot fetish guy and wanted pictures so when he came I went to go wash my feet of course, and I had vinyl flooring as most Texas apartments because of the heat. Right when I got to my room by my bed I slipped and fell and because I didn't want to fall in my hand I fell straight on my ass and hit the crack of my ass on my wooden bed OMG I wanted to cry but all I could do was laugh kind of like when you stub your toe and you kind of do that half cry half laugh. I went through the appointment trying not to pass out and went to the hospital a couple hours after and found out I had broken my tailbone!!!! My ass hurt for like a week and a half smh

OK....a few years ago I'm in a session with a highly reviewed, gorgeous, relatively (for KC) high priced girl. We're going at it hot and heavy. She has an "O" while I'm screwing her....and as a byproduct, she farts. Not a little one, a long one. Not a quiet one, sounded like a buzzsaw. And frankly not one that was odor-free. She was MORTIFIED. I just laughed - hey, I still think fart jokes are funny - but she wanted to crawl under the bed and hide. Apparently for her this is a relatively common side effect to an orgasm for her. What did I do? I finished, of course.....