I'm baaaaaaaaccccckkkkk! Top Ten Fancy Rumors Dispelled

Fancyinheels's Avatar
My goodness, so nice to know that while I was off ECCIE, my name continued to be at the forefront of conversation. How flattering! I may have to rethink "bancation" as an effective marketing strategy; I haven't gotten this much free press in ages.

(Although I wish everyone had waited until I was BACK before starting the parade without me. The band just played on without the lead float, I see, and got lost down all sorts of wrong roads. Some funny stuff, however. That Hitler…)

I'd like to express my appreciation to an awesome number of kind supporters for their understanding and continued good wishes while gone, as well as those members who chose not to give into spurious gossip without evidence or defense. The rest of you, ah, well, I'm glad that you enjoyed what entertaining diversion this may have provided in the passage of your tedious lives. Monger on.

Now, let me dissipate some nonsense.

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Top Ten Fancy Rumors Dispelled:

1. I haven't "outed" anyone, I haven't "come out" (I like staying in the closet and admiring my shoe collection), and I have an "innie," not an "outtie."

2. I don't have multiple handles, aka "mandles," but I do have a lot of pretty sandals.

3. I didn't get into a WWF Smackdown (that's Wicked Wench Fancy, by the way) with any other provider, gent, or mod, nor have I behaved in a potty-mouthed, disrespectful manner towards any ECCIE member. (However, immodest and immoral behavior is another matter entirely.)

4. I didn’t rip off anybody’s Benjamins, Trojans, falsies, or clothes. (I usually take the last off teasingly and place them in a neat pile bedside, or they get discarded in a trail on the way to the bed.)

5. I haven't been behind bars, although the leprechauns and I may have bent elbows at a few bars to soak our sorrows away. We did miss ECCIE. Pout. (And oh, yeah, I wasn’t in Jameson rehab, either.)

6. I wasn't off having boardman's half-cat/half-chihuahua love child.

7. I wasn't making BBW-midget porn for dearhunter.

8. I didn't go to Mexico for body shaping, although I did visit Taco Bell one night for a stomach-bloating burrito.

9. I wasn't strolling the dark street corners or alleys of Houston or any other city, although I did do the voodoo boo with a fine ECCIE lad this past wonderful weekend in New Orleans. The rest of the time, when I wasn’t entertaining generous gents or cavorting with the wee woofs at the Irish Chihuahua Refuge, I've been preparing a bank of fire extinguishers for the 56 candles on my birthday cake this Friday, getting my spooky decor down to turn my lecherous lair into a Hussy's Haunted Howl-o-weenie Hideaway for the entire month of October, and refitting my wench wardrobe for my 5th Annual Fancy Fantasy Texas Renaissance Festival Tours starting Saturday. (FYI, I’ve already got tours booked or pending, and there’s only 8 weekends available, so interested revelers best make their reservations and get their deposits into me soon! Info may be found on my website.)

10. No chihuahuas were harmed in the making of this ban.

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I've been very distressed by all of the controversy, and have pondered long and hard over what to say, if anything at all, and I have decided that I am going to use truth as my shield and see if honesty is actually still of any value to the membership of ECCIE.

The sole infraction that got me kicked to the curb occurred away from the public forums in a private provider-only section of our wicked world, and had to do with my investigation of a non-local fellow whose actions would’ve been considered highly suspicious by ANY lady of lust. This wasn’t just a simple case of screening disparity; I really believed that some reputable gentleman’s handle had been stolen. I was perplexed that a reasonable, experienced Hobbyist and alleged ECCIE member would behave in such a way, and I was trying to ferret out the reality.

There seemed to be confusion over what (if any, per inexact guidelines at the time that were evidently subject to interpretation) rule I had violated initially, a wee bit of overreaction may have occurred, but after the matter was further researched, the ban was rescinded the VERY NEXT DAY from one year to one month. As far as I'm aware, there was no “bargaining” or “leniency,” just reconsideration of my actual “offense” and “penalty” within a 24-hour period.

I did post some incomplete data about the fellow who contacted me in an endeavor to verify whether or not this individual had “borrowed” the handle in question and might even be dangerous. I will add that he NEVER, despite repeated requests for a PM, communicated with me through ECCIE during this, and he was quite adamant to the point of paranoia about me not contacting ANY of the numerous ladies that he, or rather the screen name he was giving me, had allegedly seen before. I DIDN’T billboard anyone’s entire personal life and identity all over the Internet, so take the corpse of that rumor and send it to the funeral home, please. There is still much contention and debate behind the scenes, as I understand it. At the time I didn’t do anything inquiry-wise different than what MANY other pussy-slingers have done before WITHOUT being excommunicated, but it’s over and done with and I don’t wish to whine about it. Protocols have since been retooled and microscopically clarified so that this is a dead-end issue, never to recur. (At least with me.) As has been noted, does no good to beat a stiffening horse, unless some flies have a fondness for deceased stinky equine jelly. Shoo!

I want to THANK powers that be for acknowledging my lack of malicious intent, recognizing that I was just attempting to ascertain the validity of a member’s status under shadowy circumstances, and realizing that everything I have done in that area of ECCIE has been in regard to either my own or other providers' safety. (Had not more red flags been waved under my nose than a banner hoist at a bullfight, there wouldn’t have been a problem to begin with.) Since I plan on this being my first, last, and only ban (and I’ve already been warned to tread lightly upon my return), I refuse to take the risk of discussing this down in the murky depths some of you like to plumb, so please don’t bother pushing for more detail and debate. Can’t. Do. It. Toss tomatoes and rubbish at me all you like and stir it with a stick, this will be my ONLY public comment about the cause of my absence.

I ask that everyone please bear in mind that I am not in the habit of causing drama, and I’ve certainly HATED being at the center of it. My good reputation means everything to me, and is something I take great pride in. I have never pretended to be infallible or even knowledgeable, but I have always tried my best to share what I do have experience with, some of it hard-earned, and I attempt to be thoughtful of and helpful to both providers and gentlemen navigating the complexities of the Hobby.

In regard to other innuendos and inferences that have been winding around my name like tendrils of dirty smoke, I will address them with exactly the credence they deserve, which is NOTHING. Refer to list above.

I will now enjoy my new infamy and entrance into the elite ECCIE Hall of Shame, er, Fame. If you have been on the board a while and haven't been banned at least once, you aren't anybody special at all, ya know.


Oh, one more thing: For those of you ready to flame-broil my narrative like a choice ribeye, I ran the entire post above past St. Chris first to make sure that I was representing the facts accurately to the best of my knowledge (he has the full public, private, modly lowdown, of course) without violating any confidentiality, and he was absolutely fine with what I've written EXACTLY as typed. Gave me some good advice about not fretting too much over idle babble that will pass, making a statement and then getting on about frisky business. I thank him especially for his kindness, as I was feeling awfully apprehensive about treading the turbulent waters of ECCIE again.

Now, I have work to do, a newbie-friendly list sorely in need of updating. Póg mo thóin, buachaillí dána!
WTF's Avatar
  • WTF
  • 10-05-2015, 05:41 PM
That was well written with no chance of rebuttal and you threw St. Chris in there for good measure! . That is exactly how I would have advised you to handle this.

Well that and I would have told Lexie to STFU.


I especially liked this:
v

I will now enjoy my new infamy and entrance into the elite ECCIE Hall of Shame, er, Fame. If you have been on the board a while and haven't been banned at least once, you aren't anybody special at all, ya know.

. Originally Posted by Fancyinheels
And the below quote too. Very informative. It seems pussy slingers were loose and fast with personal information in infoshare for far to long and hopefully this will let the ladies know that this is no longer tolerated. I had been trying to make that point for some time. If the gents had a chance to take a gander in there they would shudder...would be my guess.

But hey if it is cleaned up now in there then things are headed in the right direction. imho , of course.

At the time I didn’t do anything inquiry-wise different than what MANY other pussy-slingers have done before WITHOUT being excommunicated, but it’s over and done with and I don’t wish to whine about it. Protocols have since been retooled and microscopically clarified so that this is a dead-end issue, never to recur. (At least with me.) ! Originally Posted by Fancyinheels
notanewbie's Avatar
Well played Fancy Pants
DallasRain's Avatar
wooohooo the INFAMOUS FANCY is back....my sexy buddy...yeahhhh!!

quote- I did do the voodoo boo with a fine ECCIE lad this past wonderful weekend in New Orleans.....dish the dirt/I was just in New orleans last week! LOL
I am glad you are back, Fancy. Bans are lame.
Welcome back darlin'
Excellent explanation of the events leading up to and during your absence.
Nothing further needs to be said.
TL;DR
TL;DR Originally Posted by GlobeSpotter
Yes it was wordy, but you didn't miss anything that wasn't already obvious. Fancy's back. Mistakes were made and everything got blown way out of proportion.
Nothing you didn't already know.


This is ALL for you! ENJOY my lady!!
Holy fuck that was long. All im interested in knowing is why she was banned haha. Why someone tell me that in like 10 words
universalenergy's Avatar
Welcome back Fancy!
  • romab
  • 10-05-2015, 06:42 PM
Damn fine to have both humor and green ink reappear. Now if I could just find those eggs and ham.

Welcome back the alternative universe Fancy
Welcome back !!!!!

You have been missed!!!

Mod's did a great job with this one!!!!
johnniewalkerblack's Avatar
Welcome Back
tttalinky's Avatar
Welcome back Fancy......could care less why you were banned......glad to see you back on the board.