My first post- go easy on me!

A little about me: I'm a normal guy with a good job, and a wife who is not giving me what I need. What I mean by that is we have not had sex for 18 months and counting. I don't want to leave her, but I cannot go the rest of my life without physical touch/sexual release. The issue is hers, and may or may not resolve itself. She could care less for sex. I don't want and don't have time for an affair. So, guess what? I have stumbled onto this world of the "hobby", and have been lurking and studying the ins and outs of how to get into it. I am really close to diving in, and am looking for advice from providers and hobbyists. I have my eye on two or three providers I would like to try. I am worried about screening/references. I totally understand the safety aspect of it for the ladies (and clients too). How can a person be assured their private info such as name and employer are kept secure in this day and age of hacking, etc? Look at the Ashley Madison debacle. Since I have no references or "street cred", what step should I take next? I desperately want to take the plunge, but need to protect myself too. I am particularly interested in what the providers have to say, but want the client side as well. I have done a LOT of research online, but would like the advice of the folks here around Omaha. I'm not a bad guy! I'm just another joe you might walk by in public and never realize that...... Fill in the blank with something good guy! Also, my hand is getting tired

First off you are on the right place. BP, while some very legit providers will advertise there, the legit ones will also be on better sites like this one.

Hopefully a couple of the well known providers will chime in here and help you out. P411 is a good site to be a member of I think.

I agree with the p411. This is a good site as well. I got started slumming it on Bp but quickly learned that this is the place to get the info.

I am worried about screening/references. I totally understand the safety aspect of it for the ladies (and clients too). How can a person be assured their private info such as name and employer are kept secure in this day and age of hacking, etc? Look at the Ashley Madison debacle. Since I have no references or "street cred", what step should I take next? Originally Posted by kevcar

The blunt answer to your first question posed above is, you can never be 100% assured. However, that is not to say your information will be readily available to anyone who wants to search for it.

Trust is a large part of this endeavor/lifestyle and by doing painstaking research of verified providers, thinking with your big head and not the other one, you will be able proceed with a feeling of confidence.

Without references, the best approach is to ask the lovely ladies you want to meet what other verification options are available. The ladies will be able to walk you through their process. If you are comfortable with her and the information she requests, then you are off and running!

Good luck, have fun and play safe!

We were all newbies once.

Read the reviews. A one-month subscription here or on The Erotic Review (TER) will be a good investment. It will allow you to get information on what a session is like.

Study the site. Lots of wonderful gems of advice are hidden in various threads on the national (main) page.

Whether you have selected a lady from here, BP, or TER, you want to read her reviews.
You are a newbie. You want to move slowly. I know you haven't been laid for 600 days, but keep junior under control for a bit longer. Your job is to build references.

Your first lady should be one who has lots of favorable reviews on several different sites from lots of different guys who themselves have lots of reviews of different ladies. The blond spinner on BP with one review may be hot.....but if she's legit she probably won't see you, and there's a possibility her reviewer is the same guy who will give you some nice silver bracelets. Its hard for the new girls to break into this, too. But that is for a different thread.

So now you've selected a lady. Do your homework, and read her reviews. She should have lots of them....the most recent should do. I know what you are thinking: Holy Crap.....this lady has seen more pricks than a porcupine's back! Believe it or not that is a good thing. She'll be professional, street smart, and will have broken in many newbies like you.

And now a disclaimer. This is a game in an illegal business where you are playing the odds. Even the most seasoned provider or client may get busted and turned. If you follow this approach, your odds are in your favor.....but it is still a remote possibility something bad will happen. .No sure thing. If you absolutely cannot endure the possibility of exposure through any means.....and the subsequent divorce and/oor job loss.....quit now. Jacking off to internet porn may be lonely.......but it is legal and safe.

Ok. You're ready to call! Pick up your hobby phone and.....what? You don't have one? Go to Walmart. Buy one of the prepaid phones and an airtime card, like tracphone. Pay for it with cash. Use a fake name to set it up. Keep it in a place your wife won't stumble on it, or be prepared with a good excuse. I keep mine at the office. Some guys keep it in their glove box as an emergency phone.....but if you do this, wipe all contacts and texts after every session. Keep in mind you may get random texts back from ladies at inopportune moments, though.

Ok. Pick up your hobby phone and give your lady a call. DO NOT MENTION MONEY. You already know what it will cost because you studied her ads and reviews. DO NOT MENTION SEXUAL ACTS. You already know what might happen because you read her ads and reviews. Wait....MIGHT happen? Yep. The most important acronym in this hobby is YMMV: your mileage may vary. All encounters are different....and guys sometimes exaggerate. Just because she gave one guy an upsidedown spiderman bj doesn't mean you'll get one, too.

One last thing. read the lady's ad and reviews and determine her preferred communication method.....phone or text or email. Then USE it. The ladies adore guys who can follow basic instructions.

Regardless of media used, your message should be something like this:

"Hi! My name is Hojo Hominygrits. I saw your ad on ECCIE. I would be interested in an appointment at 2:00 pm for one hour. I am new at this, and have no references. (If text or email) You can reach me at ( email or phone number.) It is ok to (or not ok) contact for the next (timeframe). When talking on the phone, be polite. Be friendly. LISTEN TO WHAT THEY SAY AND ANSWER THEIR QUESTIONS. DO NOT MENTION MONEY OR SEX (unless they bring it up....at which point I would suggest simply saying "I've read your ad and reviews.")

A word on screening. Different providers have different ways of deciding if you are legit or not. Some just go with their gut, and the tone of your voice. Some will ask for a full name, maybe even where you work. Only you can decide if giving personal info to a stranger involved in a criminal enterprise is a safe thing to do. They need this info to stay safe. But there are those that don't require it. If the lady asks questions you are not prepared to answer, say so. Thank them for their time, wish them well, and keep looking. They will understand. DO NOT LIE. Some of these gals are damned fine private investigators. Your lie WILL BE DISCOVERED, and you may be blacklisted as potential LE.

Ok. There is an alternative.

http://www.p411.com

They are based in Canada where adult service work is somewhat legal. They will do your screening up front....and then you will at least be slightly more trusted. After you have seen someone you can request an "ok." This means you were safe, honest, real. As you build OKs, more ladies will be willing to see you. Some ladies there will see you with no oks, but may require additional screening to be safe.

Finally, it is the day of the blessed event. Read the lady's ad or website to determine if she has special instructions for delivering the donation. If not, simply place it in an unsealed envelope.

Shower no more than 60 minutes prior to the appointment. 30 is better. (If this is not possible, inform the lady that you will require a shower before beginning the session. The amount of time you spend in her shower is deducted from your total time....so be swift...unless she gets in there with you!)

I can't stress this enough: WASH YOUR BALLS! WASH YOUR ASS! TWICE! Why? BECAUSE YOU STINK. Sqeaky clean guys get the very best service. Should the lady offer a breath mint, or to get into a tub with you, say YES. She is politely telling you you missed a step.

Ok, You clean? Follow her instructions to her incall, or give her good directions to your outcall. If she is coming to you, unless otherwise directed, place the donation envelope in the bathroom. She will want to wash her hands. If you are going to her incall, unless otherwise directed, place the donation envelope on the first flat surface that is simultaneously within her vision and yours. NEVER MENTION THE DONATION. Ask to wash your hands, and go to the bathroom. Take your time. She's counting.

Now, If you selected the right lady, followed her directions and got the donation right, you act respectfully, and you are squeaky clean........well relax, buckaroo. You are about to have your world rocked.

I broke into this after 5 years of no sex. My first lady was a little spinner off of the Denver backpage. She had some good reviews, and she saw me without any references. I was nervous as hell, but I did manage to have a good time. Then I tried to see the lady I really wanted to see. Surprise! The first lady did not give references. Bummer! Fortunately, the second lady was a true pro, and patiently persuaded me to give her my real world info. (I was stupid and lucky. I had stumbled on to an ethical ASP)

After seeing her, I used her reference to see a well reviewed provider in Omaha. I then used both of their references to get a new P411 account with two "built in" okays. I never looked back, and no lady on P411 has ever asked me for any additional verification. I am up to 32 oks.

Very long. I hope this helps. I would be happy to suggest a provider for you to call. Just remember that I might be typing this from my jail cell as a condition of my release.

Good luck!

HG gives some good advice. It isn't easy to get started but if you can find a lady that is newbie friendly it is the way to go. P411 to me is well worth the money, but I had a couple references before I got it so I don't know how it works without any refs. Good luck and stay safe.

HG, thanks for the info. I, too, am a newbie looking to "take the plunge" and have discovered that doing it right is a lot more difficult than one would think. Great detailed information!

Never Never Never give any real world info. You are married and it could ruin your marriage. Other than that just use your big head it will turn out ok.

HG Thank you very much for all the information. Yes it is long, but detailed and exactly the information I need. I would very much like you to suggest a provider, provided you are not in a jail cell. To everyone else, thank you for the information as well. Please keep it coming. This seems to be one of those endeavors if we don't all hang together, we can all hang separately. I would still like to see a provider post their point of view.

Never Never Never give any real world info. You are married and it could ruin your marriage. Other than that just use your big head it will turn out ok. Originally Posted by burkalini

Burk, I absolutely agree with this. I was not patient enough, and ended up revealing my full info to a Denver provider. I was lucky, though. She is one of the true professionals. There are several like that in Omaha as well.

But no one knows me, or knows the lady in question. You just don't know. So, your advice is spot on.

@Kevcar:

Send me a pm, letting me know what you are interested in. It would help to know what decade of life you are in.

One final thought, for newbies and grognards alike:

Should the worst happen, and you find yourself in a sting: Shut the fuck up.

Seriously.

If you have wandered into a sting, nothing......absolutely nothing.....that you can say or do is going to keep you from getting cuffed for a ride downtown.

Nothing.

But if you never ask for a sex act in exchange for money, and would just shut the fuck up, and by that I mean saying "I am choosing to exercise my fifth amendment right to be silent, and I want to see my lawyer" and abso-fucking-lutely nothing else, then.....with a smart lawyer, you just might have a chance to beat this in court.

Get a prepaid disposable phone and only use it- turn it off when your not. And never carry your wallet to a date and go with your gut feelings - if your drive by doesn't seem right keep going. YES shut up, no one needs to know your business. Be safe. And never talk about money or sex... your just meeting for companionship.

Scorp gave the best answer, HG is almost tied with him.

Good luck and if I can be of assistance, please let me know.

I would like to say that most reputable great ladies on this site will never let you down. I myself have let some down. But most are awesome and try to please you most they could.

With that been said I would like to say that I myself is trying my best to meet only ladies who have good reviews here. Try to screen and meet reputable ladies. Treat them well
And they would treat you back good too. Like said before. Have a shower and meet with them.if not get one when you meet them. Think this as a business deal. You like to work with somebody and they too. And don't disclose your real identity. Not good. And lastly respect.