In another thread here in Austin Coed, I'd made a post ( http://www.eccie.net/showpost.php?p=...&postcount=121 ) that apparently touched a raw nerve.
The most controversial comment in that post was my comment about 'mongers bashing providers who are too old or too heavy by standards that they themselves don't meet.
That's definitely a raw nerve to touch, because there's a great deal of truth to it: Many 'mongers in the Hobby, including myself, are not exactly attractive & in shape. Some of us are, frankly, obese & ugly.
Should a man with a BMI in the 30s or more feel guilty if he's only physically attracted to slender and/or petite women?
Should he see it as a defect in himself?
I frequently *do* feel guilty, and think that it *is* a defect in myself, but it's also not something I believe I can 'train' myself out of.
Having 'hypocritical attractions' isn't my objection, though. My objection (and one I've posted on more than once) is when male 'mongers who've admitted their own physical flaws frequently attack and degrade providers for their physical flaws.
Here's the thing:
In the Hobby, we pay women more attractive than ourselves to cross the gap between what they're attracted to (attractive, well-dressed HWP or athletic men) and ourselves (often at least decent financial status, sometimes well-dressed, but not exactly 10s in the looks dept.) for the purpose of making us feel attractive & desirable. (Oh, and multiple orgasms in session would be nice too, ma'am. )
Crossing that gap and acting like we are genuinely attractive & sexy to them isn't easy, but treating her with kindness, affection, attention to her as a person, and not emphasizing physical flaws she knows she has without needing male reminders in CoEd might make it easier.
I always thought of that as part of the unwritten social contract of the Hobby: If you want her to overlook your physical flaws and see you for your good traits, see her for hers in return.
Am I wrong to think that?