Thoughts on social/public-time only dates.

I posted this right before the recent maintenance, but when the forums came back up it had disappeared into the æther. I hope this time it stays up.

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As some of you know, I recently had a moment of pure klutziness which has put a total cramp in my style the past few weeks. Per doctor's orders, I'm not to resume "regular activity" for at least a month more. It's making life a little dull, as you can probably imagine. Thank heavens for books and message boards.

While I'm thankful I've been able to take time off from my day job and this part of my life without much difficulty, living off my savings is decidedly a less-than-ideal scenario. Plus, I'm just plain bored. Haha.

So, although I'm not going to be in any condition to enjoy a traditional date for quite a while longer (let's just say I tire easily and shaving one-handed is not going as smoothly as I'd like), as soon as I'm up for it, I'm considering offering brief, public-time only dates. I've already consulted in the ladies' section and had some excellent feedback. However, I also would like a co-ed perspective, and some input from the ladies who don't have access back there.

What I was thinking: 1 - 2 hour "meet for drinks/brief dinner/lunch ONLY" dates, for about half of what my estimated one hour rate would be (the shortest date I offer currently is two hours to returning clients, you can visit my site to do the math if ya want), with the option of applying part of that rate to a traditional date up to six months in the future. Assuming he wants to see me again, that is! I'd of course be screening as usual.

I'm posting this here instead of Main Discussion in hopes of avoiding "why would anyone pay for just public time???" kinds of responses, but if it really flabbergasts you, let it out. Keeping such strong emotions bottled up isn't good for the digestion.

Ladies, if this is something you've offered before, how did it go? Any advice? Gents -- would this be something you'd be at all interested in (not with me specifically, just in general)? Is offering to use part of the rate as a kind of "discount" in the future important?

Feel free to PM me if you'd prefer that to replying publicly.

please don't eat this post ECCIE
i don't think i can type it out a third time

Other ladies do offer such packages so the idea itself is not a radical one.

Personally, if circumstances warranted it it is something I would certainly consider either to meet a lady I might be interested in OR if I was away on business and wanted a dinner companion who was not a colleague.

Applying a part of the fee to a future date is a good idea.

I've never bothered with the "apply it later" approach. Too many possibilities for mixed / hard feelings. If you'd choose to view it that way, fine; but if I were to pay for a lady's time today - that's exactly what I'm paying for. Her time. Today. If that's at a lower cost, good for me. If I choose to see her again later under different circumstances I'd believe her time then would be for appropriate compensation as well.

May be an odd way to look at it, but I'd rather a lady question my rationale than my character.

I offer 2 hours for $200 and it only appeals to couples or newbies. My target market is geared up for certain things, so it does not work well for me.

There's a lady in Ohio that offers a completely public date. She says she gets a fair amount of hits. I can't remember her name, but JB ought to be able to direct you if you're interested.

Lauren offers one...at least the last time I looked at her website.

Others do, too.

I'm with CenterLock, I wouldn't find the "take advantage later" very attractive.

I haven't looked at your site lately either. I've noticed a lot of ladies prorate public and BCD time in packages so that you pay less for public time than BCD time.

I don't want to be placed in the position of telling you what you should price your time at given your impaired condition. However, I will say that even though you're on my bucket list, I don't thing I'd spring for 1/2 the rate for public time. You wanted honest, that's honest. Sorry.

there are times when I would definitely do a public time only date. Also it would be good to maybe combine the two such as a lower rate for a dinner\drinks then an hour of private time at the end of the date. I like to take my time and get to know the women I am with and the idea of having some public time to get to know them sounds good, sort of get to know them and become more relaxed. I also think it would make the BCD time better if you spent dinner looking at a gorgeous woman knowing later on you would be BCD.

I don't want to be placed in the position of telling you what you should price your time at given your impaired condition. However, I will say that even though you're on my bucket list, I don't thing I'd spring for 1/2 the rate for public time. You wanted honest, that's honest. Sorry. Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

No apology needed! Honesty (kindly, please!) is what I'm after. I don't want to waste time updating my site & marketing these kinds of dates & getting my hopes up if no one's remotely interested.

Pricing is something I'm still working out, btw. I don't see a lot of these advertised so I kinda just pulled that "half of what would be my one hour rate if I offered an hour" figure out of thin air. Gotta start somewhere!

I have offered social at about $60 an hour. It appeals to the market of men that browse, are curious, but don't think they'll actually build up the courage to book a full date. They are generally men in the midst of traveling, who'd like someone to drink and eat, laugh and flirt with. Being on the road they don't want to hang out with work associates or try to make friends with strangers. I did a great deal of them as my former incarnation, and went out of my way to mention it in ads. I do far fewer, but also do not go out of my way to advertise it.

What I was thinking: 1 - 2 hour "meet for drinks/brief dinner/lunch ONLY" dates... Originally Posted by Carrie Hillcrest

I have actually done this a couple of times before, especially if it's the first time meeting with a lady, it helps with getting to know each other.

However, I only chose to pay for the "drinks/brief dinner/lunch" and not anything extra for the lady's time...

I have actually done this a couple of times before, especially if it's the first time meeting with a lady, it helps with getting to know each other.

However, I only chose to pay for the "drinks/brief dinner/lunch" and not anything extra for the lady's time... Originally Posted by DickEmDown

I'm assuming the lady agreed to this beforehand? I do know of some ladies that if it is convenient will meet just for coffee or the like without additional compensation. A bit different than Carrie's question.

I'm assuming the lady agreed to this beforehand? I do know of some ladies that if it is convenient will meet just for coffee or the like without additional compensation. A bit different than Carrie's question. Originally Posted by discreetgent

Yes, they did...in every instance but one it was the lady's idea.

I do like Carrie's "apply it to a future date"...the only thing is I may not want a future date like she said

I recently had a "date" with someone( in fairness- it was off the clock- we had discovered we had a similiar interest and I was able to get tickets for us) and then had a "meeting" at her normal rates. The point is: there was tremendous benefit for both of us at the "meeting" because of the time we had shared together- in fact, we shared a late night breakfast before our evening ended. So, I think there may be a market and a nice "get out of the house" benfit for you. I also think that 1/2 your normal rate may be a little high for a lunch/dinner meeting- but that's just an opinion. I also agree that the "it might be applied" to a later session is not a good idea. You serve a high end of the market and that's not an appeal for those who would see you- but it might get some to meet you and then they would likely be friends and clients. Thanks for starting an interesting thread.

Carrie, I would LOVE to see either you or Lauren socially only.

Fifteen years ago I think my mind on it would be much different. These days, however, I'm much more into the "connection" than the physicality of things. I'd actually prefer this kind of arrangement as a first meeting. If things did click it would only make the next time more enjoyable.

I know it wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea, but I happen to get to near one of you two in the near future I may well ask the favor of a lunch or dinner.

Good luck with it.

Cheers,
Mazo.

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To tell the truth, I’m not sure what I think about it. But a few rambling, mostly incoherent thoughts, for what they’re worth.

The idea of paying for “social/public” time together has come up, for me and prior to this question, only in a couple of specific situations. First, a longer date with both public and private components, where I pay more for the entire date than I would for just the private part. I’ve done, and enjoyed, that a few times although not often. Second, a get-together as a type of informal screening; a relatively inexpensive way (compared to just making an appointment) to see if there’s some connection and a lady might become a favorite/regular. Another guy suggested that to me once and, as I thought about it, it sounded as if it might be a good idea, but I’ve never actually tried it.

I’ve never given a lot of though before to “social/public only” in the sense of paying for that social/public experience even if not associated with or in furtherance of private play-time. [*] On first impression, it seems a bit strange. I don’t think I’m having the stereotypical thought “I shouldn’t have to pay to get women to eat lunch with me” (i.e., it’s depressing enough that a lady wouldn’t want to engage in carnal pleasure with me if not for the $$$, but she wouldn’t even want to have lunch with me????). I got over that way of thinking, at least on the conscious level, awhile back. I wouldn’t expect an escort – even a favorite/regular or ATF – to want to go to dinner or a sporting event or a movie with me for free. She likely has other things in her life that are higher priority, and other people she prefers to spend her free time with. That’s reasonable and I wouldn’t think of criticizing a lady who charged for doing that. And it’s not a question of intrinsic worth, either. I see it as more a question of what the client values. So, to whom would it be valuable?

For one, people who place a lot of value on that particular type of service. For example, Lauren’s observation:

I They are generally men in the midst of traveling, who'd like someone to drink and eat, laugh and flirt with. Being on the road they don't want to hang out with work associates or try to make friends with strangers. Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

For another, people who are more used to spending significant amounts on personal services in general. Not all P4P clients do. Going to an expensive hairstylist rather than Supercuts? Buying custom-made clothing rather than Brooks Brothers or Joseph Banks? Having a maid or a lawn service? For that matter, hiring someone to accompany them to a party or social function, totally unrelated to P4P. Some people do, some people don’t. Sometimes it’s a matter of budget, sometimes just a habit of mind. (I grew up relatively poor, and still feel uncomfortable with that type of spending at times – hell, I still feel funny sometimes about valet parking rather than self-parking – and my budget doesn’t allow as much as I’d like, either. )

This might be received most positively by executives traveling to Dallas on business, extroverts who enjoy socializing a lot, and the well-to-do (who are probably more comfortable with the idea of paying for all sorts of personal services). It won’t work out for all of your existing clientele, but probably some. You know your clientele better than we do. And I don’t think offering the option would alienate very many of the others, even if they didn’t want to partake.

Sorry I couldn't be of any more help. Good luck.

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[*] Applying part of it to a future date might actually be a shrewd approach with some guys, not simply because the cost doesn’t seem as high that way but also because the arrangement would then fall within the familiar paradigm: “I’m paying a lady for an entire experience that also includes BCD” rather than “I’m just paying a lady to have lunch with me.” But it might be offsetting to other prospects, as witness some of the comments above. I have no idea which effect would predominate.