Suddenly Limp as a Noodle!

Saw the ED thread and thought I'd put a different, more humorous spin on it. Right after I got out of law school I made a prmoise to myself to make up for all of the missed parties and deferred pussy opportunities I passed up in order to make it thru law school. I was horny, single, had a good job and a surprisingly good income. I felt the world was my g-stringed oyster!

Eventually I ended up putting the moves on this 6ft German girl that was a "friend" of my younger brother. Note: If he'd had any rmantic interest in her I wouldn't have made a move on her. Tanja (fake name obviously) had a roommate and a small bungalow near the Galleria in Houston. We went ot her place one night instead of mine I was stiff as a board the second she invited me over knowing that I was gonna get some! She escorted her pure bred, scary-as-fucking-hell German Shepherd into the backyard. That hound could've been named Hitler! To get my mind off of Beowulf she took my hnd and led me towards her bedroom slowly removing things as she went.

We're going at it in her bedroom (remember the thread about women that like to scream and vocalize...she's scream things out in German and English..fucking hot!). In the background, I can her good ol puppy dog growling at the window. She was wet and tight so I thought..no big deal..doggy is outside and I'm in HERE!

First noodle moment occurred when her roommate showed up with HER boyfriend and they started playing music and going at it in the Living Room. She gave me some oral encouragement and I climbed back into the saddle.

The second down for the count noodle moment was when ditzy roomie let Hitler back in the house. That dog hit the bedroom door so hard the frigging frame shook! All I could here was this viscious snarling and paws clawing at the door. Tanja climbed from the bed and said "I'll be right back" and started walking towards the door. My dick looked like, as George on Seinfeld once said, like a frightened turtle. I told my blonde beauty to take a step away from the door and ask her ditzy roommate to put Hitler in the backyard. Tanja said "Oh Nooooooo....once he gets like this Carol won't g near him. She's probably locked in her bedroom too."

As it turns out she was rght. Me and ditzy roommate's boyfriend both left with our frightened turtles tucked in our jeans. Turns out he'd just been getting into the groove too when ditzy roommate let Hitler in to make him shut up.

When my SO and first got together her dog used to snap and snarl at me. One night I got ready to get in bed and the dog is laying on my side of the bed. I reached down to pet the dog and coax her into moving that bitch snapped at me! AH F**K NO! I snatched that dog up by the collar and DRAGGED that dog outside feet planted in defiance and hosed the sh** outta that dog....


That dog knows who is boss now.... I pick up that water hose to fill her water bowl she backs away lmao...

An x-gf of mine had a really jeolous cat that came and sit in my lap like he was getting cozy. He was purring and rubbing his whiskers on my arm. The next thing I know he pissed on me and ran off.

Dated this beautiful blonde attorney once and only once down in Houston. This girl was drop dead gorgeous in every department so I felt blessed when, after a nite of dacing and drinking she invited up to her apartment for some "private fun time." I was certain I was gonna get to see if she was a "natural" blonde. My boxers were already forming a tent as I made plan on stripping her naked. She opened the door to her place and we stepped inside. I heard "something" in the darkness as she fumbled for the light switch. Imagine my surprise when the lights came on and there were about 15 rabbits hopping around the floor! They'd chewed up the chair legs, soiled the carpet and had left little brown trails bunny crap everywhere. I just gave her a peck on the cheek and left. I thought about feigning an illness (perhaps an allergy to rabbits!) and planning ahead so that I could plow the Nordic Valley at my place but I was just too fucking creeped out.