Preparing to leave the hobby for love; should you say something?

Of course the fellas won't say shit but this ain't about the fellas. lol

Ladies just wondering is it even worth it if you're not prepared or willing to tell your new 'successful entrepreneur' boyfriend upfront that you "used" to escort. Should you just get it out of the way and let the chips fall where they may to save yourself a ton of problems later on?

I ask this question because 1.) many girls come and go and find themselves coming back and 2.) a close friend of mine met a girl while working out and they started what he thought was serious dating. lol Anyhow, she was always evasive about what she did for a living and was always showing up for lunch in scrubs. I didn't really think nothing of it until he kept telling me how she doesn't like black guys. lol So he gave me her number and I checked it out and sure enough she was on a rub site full body profile and all. I gave him the link he confronted her and she denied it but it was obvious. About a week later she came clean (sobbing and all) by saying she doesn't sleep with guys but only does the hand jobs. I guess she gave him the hobby number instead of the real number which was her mistake given they met at a gym.

At any rate I can see the conundrum, if you say something he may reject you while still knowing what you do but if you say nothing then maybe he will or won't find out later on.

Was this friend of yours named Bumpy_Deek?

I've told my ex-boyfriend about what I do just in case we ever reconcile and believe that unless the guy is going to provide with frequent sex (which is why some providers like to hobby) or the money (another reason we hobby) than they shouldn't say anything .. of course, don't hobby while you're dating someone, but it's good to tell a SO about what you use to do.

I've told my ex-boyfriend about what I do just in case we ever reconcile and believe that unless the guy is going to provide with frequent sex (which is why some providers like to hobby) or the money (another reason we hobby) than they shouldn't say anything .. of course, don't hobby while you're dating someone, but it's good to tell a SO about what you use to do. Originally Posted by Rosaline Isabel

Are you finding that more guys are open mined about it these days. I would think the first major argument you have he's gonna be calling you all kinds of whores. That may not bother you on this site but to have someone you love call you that and it used to be true would probably cause some real damage. Just my view.

Was this friend of yours named Bumpy_Deek? Originally Posted by Dorian Gray

I have nothing to add, but that story is fucking awesome

I personally avoid the guys that would ever call me a whore when angry. There is surprisingly more guys who don't mind since they hobby themselves or understand struggle.

Are you finding that more guys are open mined about it these days. I would think the first major argument you have he's gonna be calling you all kinds of whores. That may not bother you on this site but to have someone you love call you that and it used to be true would probably cause some real damage. Just my view. Originally Posted by Sistine Chapel

I'm not gonna lie it would be hard for me to commit if I knew. I would have to dissect her life to the nth degree and I'm not sure that would be fair. I will say don't underestimate the power of a good argument. People say all kinds of low grade shit when they're extremely mad. Your ex may be chill now but if you ever do get back with him make sure he's not holding that as a trump card in his back pocket.

Was this friend of yours named Bumpy_Deek? Originally Posted by Dorian Gray

That's not what this thread is about. ;-)

Personally, I would tell and deal with the outcome. I'd rather he hear it from me early on than from someone else later down the road. This is a small world. You never know who knows whom. If he rejects me... I'll be hurt for a while. But that is better than living with a secret and being worried about him finding out. As for if he'll use it against me when upset with me (call me names, etc.). If it wasn't this, he would still find something else to throw back in my face. That is his character flaw that will manifest itself eventually anyway. So that is not a concern when making the decision to tell.

I'm dating a Colorado dancer and I know what she does, and she knows that I see other chicks. Dating a stripper is not easy, it has it's perks and its challenges too. Acceptance and honesty are very important in these situations.

Would I date a provider or someone who has provided in the past. Yes I would but with the honesty of non monogamy as long as she is providing I guess that would be more an open type relationship but as long as honesty is shared I dont see the problem at all that's the key for me

Having been through both experiences (having told the guy, and having not told the guy), I am now firmly in the "No" camp.

The situation you describe though, sounds like she was actively providing whilst dating him, so that's a different situation, altogether.

If it was a new relationship and I was no longer providing, I feel that what is in the past, is in the past, and that goes both ways. No need to necessarily disclose that information.

Perhaps a lot of men can deal with it, but in my experience, while many would like to think they can, many actually cannot.

Having been through both experiences (having told the guy, and having not told the guy), I am now firmly in the "No" camp.

The situation you describe though, sounds like she was actively providing whilst dating him, so that's a different situation, altogether.

If it was a new relationship and I was no longer providing, I feel that what is in the past, is in the past, and that goes both ways. No need to necessarily disclose that information.

Perhaps a lot of men can deal with it, but in my experience, while many would like to think they can, many actually cannot. Originally Posted by Victoria of Houston

After you have become deeply involved or even married and an asshole of an ex-client meets you in public and poses the question about services, how could you explain? That would devastate all parties. I as a guy could never get over or forgive the deception. A real man with true feelings could get over that if told up front. This potential problem could follow you forever. Everyone you meet could be a disaster. Just my thoughts.

After you have become deeply involved or even married and an asshole of an ex-client meets you in public and poses the question about services, how could you explain? That would devastate all parties. I as a guy could never get over or forgive the deception. A real man with true feelings could get over that if told up front. This potential problem could follow you forever. Everyone you meet could be a disaster. Just my thoughts. Originally Posted by BIGSEXY7852

I guess I wouldn't want to know but at the same time it would completely fuck up my world if a guy approached us in public about services and cost. Even more so if he was gangsta and degrading with it.