Tonight presented itself with a unique opportunity. After a few drinks, my girlfriend, who happens to be a provider, mentioned with a grin and a shrug that she had never gone near a guy's asshole during a session.
My curiosity being piqued and purely hypothetical at first, I asked her what it would take for her to allow this to happen... with me. As long as we have been seeing each other, she has never offered this. She said that if we were to do this, I would need to "prepare" the same way she "prepares" for a Greek session.
Step 1. Cleanly shaven ass. (How you decide to do this is up to you, but I would not recommend Nair as that shit burns. Trust me, its like I was sitting on a bed of nails while someone was giving me paper cuts on the inside of my butthole and asscrack. Every time I see a bottle of that shit at the store, I just want to crawl into the freezers and cry.)
Step 2. Shove a Fleet enema up my ass and hold for a minimum of 2.5 - 5 minutes. (The feeling you get from this is similar to when you have eaten too much taco bell that has been sitting in your car on a hot summer day. All the while, you have to lay on the floor and fight the urge to shit yourself.)
Step 3. After you have caked the bowl, "rinse" (basically shove that enema back up your ass with soapy water) yourself with a couple of extra "rinses" in your butthole. (This step may need to be repeated as your intestines are quite long which means a lot can still be in there. You may end up shitting more which would require more "rinses". This viscous cycle will leave you feeling like your gut has been punched by a professional boxer trying to win a world title.)
After all is said and done, a quick shower is required as the "juices" from the enema may or may not have run down your leg as you were trying to hold the liquid in as instructed by the box. (Side note: the positions recommended by the box are fucking hilarious. They even have a picture of a guy performing the positions. You should check it out just for the laughs).
I am typing this because I need to wait for my muscles to regain its normal strength so that I don't expel myself all over my girlfriend as she tongues and fingers my ass.
At this point, the amount of trouble she has to go through so I or you can put our dicks in her ass is absurd and the extra compensation that providers ask for is not so far-fetched.
*No I never fucked her in the ass when I saw her as a provider, but I sure would have.
**I will let you all know how it feels to have a finger/tongue in my ass tomorrow, and if all the preparation was worth it.