Ed and Nancy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her.
When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home.
Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Nancy to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Nancy was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last.
On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Nancy to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!"
Nancy took a deep breath and responded, "Ed, that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've been a hooker."
Ed said, "I bet it's because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."
- Guest032112
- 04-27-2011, 09:27 PM
- Howl at the Moon
- 04-27-2011, 10:03 PM
If we are going to start with golf jokes,,, this could get ugly (and funny) fast.
- arbronco
- 04-29-2011, 08:45 AM
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, ‘I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin.’
The husband replies, ‘That's no big thing in this day and age.’
The wife continues, ‘Yeah, I've been with one guy.’
‘Oh yeah? Who was the guy?’
‘Tiger Woods.’
‘Tiger Woods, the golfer?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him.’
The husband and wife then make passionate love.
When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
‘What are you doing?’ asks the wife.
The husband says, ‘I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat.’
‘Tiger wouldn't do that.’
‘Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?’
‘He'd come back to bed and do it a second time.’
The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.
When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. ‘Now what are you doing?’ she asks.
The husband says, ‘I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat.’
‘Tiger wouldn't do that.’
‘Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?’
‘He'd come back to bed and do it again.’
The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.
When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, ‘Are you calling room service?’
‘No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole.’
The husband replies, ‘That's no big thing in this day and age.’
The wife continues, ‘Yeah, I've been with one guy.’
‘Oh yeah? Who was the guy?’
‘Tiger Woods.’
‘Tiger Woods, the golfer?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him.’
The husband and wife then make passionate love.
When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
‘What are you doing?’ asks the wife.
The husband says, ‘I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat.’
‘Tiger wouldn't do that.’
‘Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?’
‘He'd come back to bed and do it a second time.’
The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.
When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. ‘Now what are you doing?’ she asks.
The husband says, ‘I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat.’
‘Tiger wouldn't do that.’
‘Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?’
‘He'd come back to bed and do it again.’
The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.
When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, ‘Are you calling room service?’
‘No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole.’