I was in chat and someone said something that made me think of this joke ... but it's too long for chat .. so I'll post here .. then others can make their contributions ...
So this guy is having his morning coffee .. and he looks in the back yard and sees a big gorilla in a tree. He calls "We Remove Gorillas From Trees" and, after identifying that it is a male gorilla, the guys says he'll get is gear and be right there.
On arriving. the gorilla removal guy gets out with a dog, a net, and a shotgun. He tells the homeowner to hold his shotgun and explains out this is gonna work. "I'm gonna climb up the tree and shake the branch the gorilla is on. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog is gonna bite down on the gorilla's nuts and hold the gorilla while I put the net on him and tranq him."
"what about that shot gun ... ?" ... "well" he says, "let's hope we don't need to use that. You just hold it for now".
With that .. they guy starts climbing the tree. Gets out on the branch and starts shaking. This pisses off the gorilla .. who starts shaking the branch, too. So .. they are both shaking the branch and the gorilla removal guy starts to lose his grip ... then fall.
As he starts to fall out the tree, he yells to the homeowner, "shoot the dog!!! For god's sake, shoot the damn dog ... !!!"
Well .. I thought it was funny ... the best laid plans of mice and men, gang oft aglee ...
- dodger
- 05-06-2011, 01:16 PM
- Randomchance
- 05-06-2011, 01:35 PM
lol.. Reminds me of one..
A wife comes home and finds her husband in bed with another woman. She is furious.
"Hun, just let me explain." He says
"Fine, but that will be the last time you talk to me" She replies.
"I was driving home and I saw this homeless girl on the street. I decided to do something good and picked her up to get her something to eat." He explains. "On the way to get her something to eat I remember that there was still the pasta I made you in the refrigerator, because you refused to eat it, because you were worried it would make you fat. So I took her home to eat that. While she was eating I went to was her clothes, and realized that her clothes were filthy. I remembered the dress I bought you, that you refused to wear because the lady at the office had the same dress, so I gave it to her. Her shoes were taped together, and I remembered that you have 50 pairs of sneakers that you never wear so I gave her a pair. We were getting ready to leave, and she asked me,
"Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use that I can have?"....."
Well
A wife comes home and finds her husband in bed with another woman. She is furious.
"Hun, just let me explain." He says
"Fine, but that will be the last time you talk to me" She replies.
"I was driving home and I saw this homeless girl on the street. I decided to do something good and picked her up to get her something to eat." He explains. "On the way to get her something to eat I remember that there was still the pasta I made you in the refrigerator, because you refused to eat it, because you were worried it would make you fat. So I took her home to eat that. While she was eating I went to was her clothes, and realized that her clothes were filthy. I remembered the dress I bought you, that you refused to wear because the lady at the office had the same dress, so I gave it to her. Her shoes were taped together, and I remembered that you have 50 pairs of sneakers that you never wear so I gave her a pair. We were getting ready to leave, and she asked me,
"Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use that I can have?"....."
Well
- EarlEApex
- 05-06-2011, 01:40 PM
New Drink dedicated to bin Laden
2 Shots and a Splash of Water
2 Shots and a Splash of Water
- Lana Warren
- 05-06-2011, 01:46 PM
- fletch
- 05-06-2011, 02:00 PM
i just spit up on my monitor...that's hilarious