Incall/Outcall and Hotel/PR

Mr.Frosty's Avatar
Newbie interested in getting into the hobby. Before getting involved, I'm curious on what are the best options in terms of doing an incall or outcall, or meeting at a hotel/motel versus a private residence.

It seems that all have their advantages and disadvantages. Using a hotel/motel certainly provides more anonymity, but I could also see it making it more liking to encounter LE. Even if you are using a reviewed provider (and stay away from BP), I could see hotel staff or other guests contacting LE if they suspect something. Is this an accurate assumption? On the other hand, are there many risks associated with meeting at a PR (even if you are meeting a hobbyist/provider that has the proper reviews/referrals?

If this has been addressed extensively elsewhere, I apologize. I tried searching for threads on the topic, but didn't have much success. I also understand that as a newbie, I'll be a bit suspicious until I get a few reviews or referrals under my belt (which I completely understand). Just wanting to get some idea of the best way to do things before getting involved.
Unique_Carpenter's Avatar
Go to the National board, and then to the Forum: " A question of legality" Start reading the stickied threads.
Mr.Frosty's Avatar
Thanks for pointing me in that direction. I read through the "How not to get arrested..." thread (which was very helpful), and skimmed through the other sticky threads. I'll read through those tomorrow.

However, those seem to be focused on what to say/do if you find yourself in contact with LE. My original concern had more to do with the best way to avoid ending up in the same room with LE from the get go, with specific input regarding hobbyist/provider experiences in this area. While there are obviously risks associated with everything, based on what I'm reading, from a hobbyists perspective, the best way to dramatically reduce risk is by meeting established providers who have up to date reviews. That makes complete sense, and I plan on doing that. That said, I'm curious how risky it is to meet in hotels, even when you are meeting established providers (I've read some posts about hotel staff or other patrons calling LE themselves because they suspect something). On the other hand, are there any reasons to avoid hosting even established providers at an outcall at your residence (fears about them having your address, for example)?

As someone with no experience in these matters, it can be a bit difficult to tell what posters are a bit too paranoid versus what are legitimate and very real concerns (for example, someone in one thread I was reading through suggested never going to an incall at a private residence for fear of being robbed, which seems like an unlikely concern if you're meeting established providers on here). If anyone has input regarding these questions, and doesn't want to post in the thread, feel free to PM me. I don't mean to be a burden, or ask questions that have been covered elsewhere, I'm a curious and cautious person, and haven't found threads covering the specific concerns I am thinking about.
Unique_Carpenter's Avatar
Keep reading.
The magic word is "Research".
Mr.Frosty's Avatar
Thanks for the suggestion. I'll be sure to continue reading through the forums, to see if I can find answers to my questions.

If anyone else has thoughts regarding this topic, and are willing to share, please let me know. Not trying to waste anyone's time, just interested in hearing from those in the KC area regarding their experiences.
KCQuestor's Avatar
Outcall (she comes to you)
  • Safer for you (in regards to law enforcement)
  • To a hotel: cost is an issue; also could you be recognized at the hotel?
  • To your home: riskier for you (Do you want a hooker knowing where you live? what about neighbors?)

Incall (you go to her)
  • Safer for her (in regards to law enforcement).
  • To a hotel: could be a sting; also could you be recognized at the hotel?
  • To her home: less likely to be a sting, but what if her neighbors know what's going on? Safe neighborhood? Who else is there?
Mr.Frosty's Avatar
Outcall (she comes to you)
  • Safer for you (in regards to law enforcement)
  • To a hotel: cost is an issue; also could you be recognized at the hotel?
  • To your home: riskier for you (Do you want a hooker knowing where you live? what about neighbors?)

Incall (you go to her)
  • Safer for her (in regards to law enforcement).
  • To a hotel: could be a sting; also could you be recognized at the hotel?
  • To her home: less likely to be a sting, but what if her neighbors know what's going on? Safe neighborhood? Who else is there?
Originally Posted by KCQuestor
Thanks a ton for the info. Definitely some great points to consider. Regarding the risk of a provider coming to your home, is that risk very high assuming you're only meeting established, well-reviewed providers? I suppose there's always the risk that even if she herself doesn't cause any trouble, that if she kept your address, somewhere down the line there's a possibility that LE could get it.

Do providers tend to keep contact info for hobbyists they've seen after the fact (phone numbers, addresses, etc)? I totally get keeping that information until after the meeting has gone on without any issues, but I would worry about any information like that being kept "on file" days, weeks, or months after the fact.
Unique_Carpenter's Avatar
With a established respected provider there should be very little risk.

Yes providers sometimes keep phone #s. But, how else could you use them as a reference?
For me outcall to residence is only for well-trusted long term dance partners. Even if a provider is well-reviewed, I'm not running the risk on the first date. Read some of the horror stories of what can happen.

Hotel incall is in my book the safest. If you seeing well established ladies, LE traps are minimized. Can't ever be 100% mitigated, but that's part of the hobby that you can never get rid of.

Secret to the hotel, is act like you belong there. If you stick out, then you stick out. If you act like you belong there, nobody is paying you any mind.
Mr.Frosty's Avatar
Yes providers sometimes keep phone #s. But, how else could you use them as a reference? Originally Posted by Unique_Carpenter
That's a good point. I hadn't really thought of it from that angle. I suppose communicating through here or a site like P411? Though I could see that being a slow process, so perhaps that wouldn't be that feasible. In any event, I would be much more concerned with someone keeping information such as my address or real name, than phone number (if using a hobby phone). I probably shouldn't have lumped the two together.

For me outcall to residence is only for well-trusted long term dance partners. Even if a provider is well-reviewed, I'm not running the risk on the first date. Read some of the horror stories of what can happen.

Hotel incall is in my book the safest. If you seeing well established ladies, LE traps are minimized. Can't ever be 100% mitigated, but that's part of the hobby that you can never get rid of.

Secret to the hotel, is act like you belong there. If you stick out, then you stick out. If you act like you belong there, nobody is paying you any mind. Originally Posted by bilbobaggin
Great advice. I'll look for some of those horror stories you mention. Definitely some great things to consider.
Unique_Carpenter's Avatar
Yes email/pm here/p411 mail/etc. can be sllooww. 99% of the folks here keep their favs hobby phone #. Btw, the trusted long term respected gals will only refer to us by our stage/hobby names.

Also a followup comment building on bilbo's "trusted long term dance partner" comment. Once folks have a long term full dance card, sometimes they become very infrequent on the boards, and only use phones with their favs
...and only use phones with their favs Originally Posted by Unique_Carpenter
...or more "personal" emails that go directly to secure phones for easier access than logging into ECCIE, etc...

and by "personal", I'm not talking about email addresses you use for bill pay, friend correspondence...
Unique_Carpenter's Avatar
...or more "personal" emails that go directly to secure phones for easier access than logging into ECCIE, etc...
and by "personal", I'm not talking about email addresses you use for bill pay, friend correspondence... Originally Posted by Wizard of Ahhhhs
Frosty,
Note the wiz's comment here. Hobby phone, hobby email, etc.
Frosty,
Note the wiz's comment here. Hobby phone, hobby email, etc. Originally Posted by Unique_Carpenter
Appreciate the shout-out, UCarp, but I said secure phone, not hobby phone... subtle difference.

With my hobby infrequency, I use my personal phone and just clear it after day-of hobby uses. I do, however, use a hobby email, which has become a primary source of initial contact even with many of my besties.
Welcome to the Hobby! You have come to the right place!

Legit questions for sure. I think you should do what makes you feel the most comfortable.

Ask her questions if you have fears. The wonderful ladies on this board will help calm your fears. If they message you with honest answers, that should help. Your safety and privacy are very important to us. In order for us to "remain active" for a long time, we must prove we are trustworthy.

If anyone acts like they have something to hide, they might.

If she looks too good to be true..well, you know.

I only communicate thru PM on this board. Privacy is hard to come by these days, and I won't take that chance. Neither should you.

Just play it safe until you learn the ropes. Read her reviews and her posts!