Some advice/opinion from the ladies, please!

Hi

Yesterday I had a chance to visit a provider I hadn't seen before but very much wanted to meet.

I texted her and she said she could meet me for a half hour, which was what I requested.

She then gave me a first destination. Once I arrived, I was to text her for final instructions to her incall.

I arrived... started to text... and my phone blew up on me!

I was using the "Burner" app on my regular cell, and it completely failed. I made several desperate attempts to make the damn thing work, but it wouldn't.

So I had only two choices... simply not show up or call her using my regular cell number.

I decided it was better to call since she was expecting to hear from me since it was time.

I did so but this set off her alarms and she canceled.


I've sent her a few PMs explaining and apologizing, but anything more right now might seem like I'm obsessed.

So far she won't reply.

I'm in the process of getting a new hobby phone and explained all this to her.

Question is.... do you ladies see this as a "firing offense" like put me on her Do Not See list, or how would you feel or have handled it were you me?

I'm also a P411 member with 12 or so "likes".

Any advice will be appreciated

TIA

I wouldn't have blinked at it. I

If I've done my research, you've got a positive standing on 411, have been gentlemanly the whole time...

Why does it matter which phone number you call me from?

The only thing I can see is if she thinks your persona set up the appointment for someone else who is really who called her for the final leg.

Not impossible...

Thanks, Ze!

Call her on your own phone and trust ( you did do your research ) she will respect your privacy.

Me personally, if I have screened you well and something like this happens it won't spook me because I already know you are legit. But even I can have my days! We are all human and have to listen to our Natural Instincts for self preservation.

Little last-minute changes like this can set off a lady's Spidey senses.

Has she had a few days to collect herself from the incident and maybe look over this post? Her perspective will probably change. Kudos on not wanting to text-stalk her!

I hope she comes back around (figuratively) and you guys have an amazing time when you get together!

You made her paranoid...there is a laundry list of things that can do this to a lady ..

It's likely not even you...but her own spidey senses going off...and us as ladies we have to follow that instinct...becsuse it could end in jail or worse...

Give her some time....be honest and open...she might come around...if you stop pressing the issue so much...

She needs to feel comfortable about meeting you again...and transperancy will help. And you backing off a bit...until she chooses to reach out again..ehether that's to say go away or to fix things..

I hope that she comes around for you....

Thanks ladies... I even sent her an apology text with my real cell phone, so I agree its time to let it have a rest.

This is one of the things about the hobby... one little thing that goes wrong can really have an outsized effect so I REALLY make an effort to have things lined up correctly.

Oh well.... I understand, I really do, and am a bit paranoid myself at times. <g>

At 68 years old, I'm old school, and treat every provider I've ever seen with politeness and behave as a gentleman. My hands are plenty full just trying to follow directions to the incall, work my phone, get out of the house in secret, make sure I've got the right donation, am clean, teeth are brushed, etc., etc., etc.... LOL

I'm about as safe as they come, and when I make a dumb though unintentional mistake like this, it just really bothers me.



Thanks again, ladies.

Look into getting a cricket phone for your hobby communications.

Cheap plan for 30 bucks a month...cheap smart phone..turn it off when you dont want hobby communications....turn it on when you're ready to play...

The service will be reliable compared to an app ...you don't even have to provide a real name or address on the cricket phone...

This will benefit you so much when it comes to having a reliable set hobby number...

I imagine with that fix..you will likely not run into that issue ever again. Ortleast this way you have one hobby number you use that won't freak out a lady..

I sure hope the provider you wanted to meet is reading this and has a change of heart...and realize how fucking sweet and respectful you are.

Being a gentleman and treating your provider not like a whore gets you so far with her..and she will appreciate you and maybe even provide a reference if you need it.

Thanks so much, Analeese... great ideas

I guess it all depends on the provider
She could be fairly new so she probably got spooked lol on the other hand if I was in that situation I would be very understanding and it was a good thing you contacted her and explained the situation.

As has been said above, if she properly screened you through eccie & P411, there should have been no problem when you called her on your regular phone. I have men do that on occasion if something happens. Make sure that you have been screened properly by her. In my opinion, it is her responsibility and yours to make sure the screening is excellent. In this case, she should have had both your eccie and P411 information.

Stuff happens and, perhaps, if she reads this thread, she might even reach out to you via pm.

Thinking, I am, that you made the right decision to avoid naming her here.

So Bravo! for that.

And, btw, 68 is nowhere near old in the hobby.

I kinda agree with teagen....if she screened him through p411 then he should be screened.... however the idea that you weren't the original guy requesting the appt...is a bit of a concern..and could have been solved by you showing the details in your Id that matches the p411 info...

If the provider in question is new...this would explain her reaction and paranoia when you used a different number to call her.

These things can get complicated...

I once ended a session because a guy made a comment that it wasn't like he was going to snap....and when he said that I felt he might snap and actually harm me or kill me.

Not sure if her incall is also her residence, but if it is, I'd be very hesitant to let you come into my place. Especially, not having met you before, and all of a sudden right before our meet you call with a different number.

I don't blame her for how she denied the visit, and I don't blame you for having an accident right before. Things like that happen, but caution is more important than money.

Hope it ends up working out, if not, there are many other beautiful ladies available.

Thanks everyone... she does have my P411 info and my Eccie info, since I've PM'd her from both services and we've "chatted" back an forth a bit.

I don't think she did anything wrong by canceling, and other than use a stupid app that failed me (Burner).. I don't think I did anything particularly wrong either.

What would've been her reaction if I just let her dangle instead of calling even on a different phone.

Likely she would've been really pissed and put me on her DNS list.

Were it not for the fact that she offers a service many don't, AND is in Ft Worth... it wouldn't be such a big deal.

But sometimes stuff just happens and that's all there is to it.

I'm certainly not going to bug her with PMs or texts.... I've already sent several last night and one more text using my real phone today (the one I made the last minute call on), and that's all I think I should do.