Enough Politics Time for a Joke!!!!!

With all the heated debates about politics I thought it was time for everyone to sit down and read a (hopefully funny) joke. I came across this and couldn't stop laughing. I hope you all enough it as well.




Vaseline
Joe wanted to buy a motorcycle. He doesn't have much luck until, one day, he comes across a Harley with a "For Sale" sign on it.
The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is ten years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.
Joe immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
"Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller. "Whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain."
Then hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, Joe's girlfriend, Sandra, invited him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.
Just before the enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."
"No problem," says Joe. And in they go.
Joe is shocked. Right smack int he middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.
In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Sandra.
No one says a word.
So he reaches over and fondles her.
Still, nobody says a word.
So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and makes love to her right there in front of her parents.
Sandra is flustered, her dad obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.
So Joe grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table and has his way with her.
Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling but, still, total silence.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder and it starts to rain.
Joe remembers the bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket...
Suddenly, the father shouts .... "I'LL DO THE DISHES!!!"

LOL! Thanks!

Nice one!

There's this boy riding around downtown on a bicycle, and he sees this guy pulling out of a garage in a brand new Mercedes SL roadster, bright red. He rides over and tells the guy, "Wow, sir, that's the prettiest car I've ever seen!" After the man talks to him a bit, he says goodbye to the boy and decides he'll impress him by scratching the tires a bit pulling away. So he stands on the gas and heads up the street. When he looks in the mirror, something is gaining on him - and quick!

Just then, the little boy whips by him, pedaling for all he's worth! The man goes, "No way did I just see that boy passing me!" Then he sees the spot coming back at him - fast! The man says, "Good grief, that WAS that boy on the bicycle!"

Then the boy comes up behind him again and with no warning - WHAM! right into the trunk. Beats the hell out of the trunk, destroys the bike, and the boy is laying dazed behind the car as the man comes to a stop. The man is hollering, going, "Oh god, oh god, I can't believe this has happened!" Seeing the boy is conscious, he says, "Boy, I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?"

The boy says, "Yep. You can unhook my suspenders from your side-view mirror!"