I was cruising down Ed Bluestein one spring day with the windows down when a rather large bug deflected off my side rear view mirror and hit me in the neck, shooting down my shirt. No doubt that I looked crazy to passing traffic as I slammed on my brakes skidding into the median and jumping out of my car getting my shirt off quickly while wildly flailing my arms and jumping around. Good thing because it was a rather large bumble bee quite stunned but still alive. Lucky to have not gotten stung on that one. Must have been quite funny to any spectators.
This is kind of unrelated, but one time up in Seattle, I passed out in my car and shat my pants in a drunken stupor. I woke up in the morning and cleaned myself off in the car wash and left the jeans behind. i put on another pair of pants. As I drove away, I realized my wallet containing 2000 bucks was still in the jeans i threw away. I realized this in traffic and was screaming like I was on fire. 2 mexicans working on a car heard/saw me and began to laugh. I drove back to the car wash and someone else was washing their car in the bay i had cleaned myself off in. I nonchalantly walked up to the jeans on the ground, grabbed my wallet and left the jeans there. the dude washing his car didnt say anything.
It's all my fault.
Me and my stinger had harsh parting words at the airport. I'm just not into that "Let's see how big his dick gets when swollen from stings." thing. The shear terror of a relationship that is based on the intimidating factor of a massive, venom dripping, ice pick sharp stinger. Hovering over either shoulder, peeking over the top of her head.
She called me to let me know she was leaving. There was to be no quiet, slipping out of town with dignity, non-dramatic death. No, I was to be publicly labeled as the guy who can drive a girl to kill herself.
She was flying to Alaska to kill herself by freezing. She hadn't taken global warming into account. Typical of her.
The man in question was playing with himself under his blanket. He found out the way my baby liked to play.
When asked if a reconciliation is possible, Tim responded "Fuck that noise! Over my dead body!"