More Newbie Questions! Huzzah!

So, when you are at the clubs down there and you have a lovely lady that you are interested in and she has drunk 3,000 of those little mini beers that are probably actually $8 waters, how do you approach the topic of getting it on?

Do you just spell it out? "I'm interested in going upstairs. I would like a blowjob and to fuck your ass. How much will that be?"

Or is there a different method that would work better?

And if she is not interested in the activities you are interested in, do you just say thanks and ask her to leave your table?

Or can you tell the guy delivering the $8 mini beers what you are wanting and he can go find you a lady that meets those qualifications?

Also, what do you do when your Spanish is basically having a short conversation about the number of apples that Juan ate while riding a train to Santiago?

So, when you are at the clubs down there and you have a lovely lady that you are interested in and she has drunk 3,000 of those little mini beers that are probably actually $8 waters, how do you approach the topic of getting it on? Originally Posted by Yongamono69

"Do you want to go upstairs? How much?"
"Quieres ir arriba? Quantos?"

Do you just spell it out? "I'm interested in going upstairs. I would like a blowjob and to fuck your ass. How much will that be?" Originally Posted by Yongamono69

That's exactly what you say, unless you want to instead make her an offer.
"Quiero ir arriba. Quiero sexo oral y chingar tu culo. Quantos?"

Or is there a different method that would work better? Originally Posted by Yongamono69

Some guys prefer to offer an amount instead of asking how much.
"Quiero ir arriba. Quiero sexo oral y chingar tu culo. Sesenta dolares?"

And if she is not interested in the activities you are interested in, do you just say thanks and ask her to leave your table? Originally Posted by Yongamono69

Unless you think she's worth skipping those activities, or maybe could be convinced for more money. Otherwise yeah, you tell her to scram.
"Gracias para tu tiempo. Adios."
Word will get around about what you want, for better or worse ("Hey, Maria. That gringo wants anal sex. You should go talk to him." or "Don't bother with that gringo. He wants anal sex for 60 dollars and I know you don't do that.")

Or can you tell the guy delivering the $8 mini beers what you are wanting and he can go find you a lady that meets those qualifications? Originally Posted by Yongamono69

Sure you can do that. If he knows of a girl who takes it in the ass he'll gladly bring her to you. You should tip him a couple of bucks if it works out, or at least order a drink from him. (The girl will probably tip him to keep her in mind.)

Also, what do you do when your Spanish is basically having a short conversation about the number of apples that Juan ate while riding a train to Santiago? Originally Posted by Yongamono69

You download Google Translate to your phone. Set it to offline mode so you don't need to have a wifi or cell connection, and use that. Or you find a girl who speaks English (she'll probably either be older or will ask top dollar). Or you do what we all did in the old days before Google Translate and bilingual hookers... we used sign language and talked really slowly.

"You, very pretty (curvy hands). Beautiful titties (grab her tits). You blowjob? (blowjob motion). You fuck ass? (point from your crotch to her ass) Eighty dollars (They all know the numbers, even if they don't speak any other English). Yes? OK!"

And practice some basic Spanish before you go. It's amazing what you can learn if you are motivated.